I have never been a drinker, but I have had to face the fact that I was powerless to stop my young son from drinking. What was it like for me to admit I was powerless over alcohol? It was sickening and terrifying. There was so much damage, and some continues today. I have had to learn how to live with the possibility that my worst fears might come true. I mean truly live, not just spend my time hunkered down in dread or trying to protect him. I love him, but I do not owe him the sacrifice of the rest of my life.
He is the only one who can decide to change his drinking, and my involvement in that distracts him from facing reality. I did feel I was to blame and that my inadequate parenting contributed to his drinking, but I could not control or cure it. However, he makes the decision every time he buys and drinks alcohol. Every time he deals with the results of drinking, it is up to him to decide how his priorities might change. Accepting my powerlessness was hard, but this is my reality as a parent. The wording of Step One, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable,” encourages me and helps me to recognize that I am not the only one facing this situation and finding a way to live fully despite it.
By Anonymous
The Forum, October 2025
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.
The Al-Anon program does not provide counseling or advice for individual situations. Instead, members share in meetings their experience, strength, and hope with how they apply the principles of the program to their lives. Members facing similar life situations make their own choices based on their own understanding and challenges. Find some Al-Anon meetings to attend by visiting https://wso.al-anon.org/meeting-search-for-wso/; at meetings, consider asking someone to become your Sponsor for personal sharing between meetings.
What do I say to my son who was out of control from drinking at a family event with his children (6 and 3)/ I have never seen him this way before.
Good reminder. Sometimes a bottom can be a new beginning too.
Thanks for sharing.