Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
I’m so happy that everyone can express their feelings on this site. I’ve worked the 12 Steps and Traditions. Now I’m starting Step One again. For me Step One is the most important for me to go back to and read. Love all your courage!!
I am married to a dry alcoholic. His dad was an alcoholic, and his grandfather on his mom’s side was an alcoholic. My sister is a food addict (bulimia) and I have many cousins/uncles with alcohol issues. The other addiction in my family is anger. Unpredictable, high levels of rage. My life has become unmanageable because I have tried to create conditions to avoid anger my entire life. If I was good enough no one would get angry. If I anticipated everyone’s needs, no one would get angry. If I was invisible enough, no one would get angry. If I… Read more »
I have been married for over 20 years to an alcoholic. It’s been a long hard road. There has been anger and abuse aimed toward me over the years. I have explained how I feel and how it affects our relationship, our kids but it never matters. I just want to know I’m not alone in a battle I will never win.
Step One for me means that I am empowered when I surrender, that I don’t have all the answers, and that I need help and support to manage my life.
I’m in Al-Anon now for about a year. And I am focusing again more on the first three steps. For me working on the steps is not that I do it, and then I am done with that step. I am coming back to the first three steps over and over again and I understand it slowly more and more, and I use it with different problems in my life. Right now I am in search for a job, and no matter how many job applications I sent, I am powerless over which job and when will I get a… Read more »
I came to Al-Anon because of my numerous qualifiers (my mother, husband, sister) and it is so interesting how my experience has evolved over the years. Besides dealing with people who are alcoholics and drug addicts, I have realized that Step 1 can apply to so many other areas of my life. I have a lot of chronic pain and I have devoted a lot of time to addressing it from a mind-body perspective, yet I was feeling stuck. As I was journaling this morning I realized that I never put my pain through the lens of the program. Step… Read more »
I’m new to Al-Anon. I believe my husband is a functioning alcohol and looking for support and guidance as we are expecting our first child soon. He won’t admit he needs help and I obviously can’t force it on him, but it’s a daily struggle. I’ve given up confronting him because it leads to an argument and he lies and my baby does not need that added stress. It’s difficult to let go but I am trying and hope working the steps of Al-Anon will help me.
I live with an alcoholic who has been in recovery and has been “dry” for a very long time. However, he is so troubled behaviorally and has such a mean streak in him and I find myself in a “no man’s land”. Rage, hateful words, even physical and mental abuse rule some of my days in the past. Since Alanon, I’ve been able to study the effects of alcohol and speak with people in the know. Incredibly hard to believe that folks like this for so many years. Thank God for Lois.
I came to Alanon 20 years ago after my husband at the time developed the disease of alcoholism made worse by his bipolar disorder. We divorced 10 years later, he remains sober and we have an amicable relationship. However, there are times when I am thrust back into feeling angry and resentful and taking his inventory in response to certain behaviors or comments of his that trigger me. Today, I went to a Zoom Al-Anon meeting and it reminded me of the fact that even though we’re divorced and he’s sober, he still often behaves like an alcoholic, and I… Read more »
I joined Al-Anon 30 years ago, it transformed and changed my life and I worked the program for years. I left a very abusive relationship to an addict, raised my children who are very functional and rebuilt my life. I remarried a wonderful man but marriage triggered my fears of trust and love. I worked the program and was very happy. Covid hit. Seeing people in masks and fear has tripped me completely and my life has become totally unmanageable again. I fear people who don’t show their faces. It’s irrational fear. I isolate myself and have had to completely… Read more »
Step one is a spiritual reminder to me that when I let go, I am free to let a power greater than myself to step in. I learned from my past to practice an unspoken code of confusion, denials and pain by holding on tightly to lies and pretense. Not out of love, but out of fear. Step one is an invitation to a new vocabulary that begins with an admission to myself that when I let go, I am free to let God!
This is my first time visiting this site. I am the wife of an alcoholic. It has been this way for a long time but it has progressively gotten worse. I feel like I am his alcoholic rage release. He doesn’t realize the pain he has caused to me and my daughters. My girls are older so they hear the arguments. He now will text hateful messages because when he speaks I leave the room. He is not a bad person, he is stuck in a bad addiction. I don’t know how to help him, he does not want to… Read more »
I came to Al-Anon hoping to find out how to stop the alcoholic in my life from drinking because I finally admitted to myself that I was powerless to do so and my life had become unmanageable. I was surprised to learn that no one at Al-Anon was going to tell me how to stop anyone from doing anything. But they were going to help me learn how to help myself. I thought that by admitting there was a problem, I was going to figure this thing out once and for all. Not so. I learned that it was not… Read more »
Step One is the one I run back to every time I experience discomfort or that I can feel myself sliding into my old self. I know that if things are not as I think they should be it is because I am trying to control people or things that are beyond my control. I also know that at that moment I can’t face my powerlessness no matter what it is about. More often than not it has nothing to do with alcohol, but it has to do with people, situations and things around me that seem to get my… Read more »
Today I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. After years of dealing with my boyfriend and his relapse or as he calls them bumps in the road. After my meeting I took the time to read through and write down the 12 steps. Today is the day that I begin working the steps. So here I am admitting I am powerless over alcohol and that our life has become unmanageable! I know I love him and I know I can’t fix him! Today is the day that I fix me! I will start to believe that a power greater than me… Read more »
Grateful member of Al-Anon for one year four months. Worked through the first 3 steps so far with my sponsor. Life happenings led my back to step one today. Just for today, I can remember I can’t control the disease or behaviors, I did not cause it and I cannot cure it. I admit my life has become unmanageable as a result of the disease. Just for today I can go back to step one and read. I remember no response is a response. I can alleviate the anxiety by remembering I am of sound, clear mind and I am… Read more »
I am realizing I am powerless over alcohol and other addictions in my family. I wrote down all the addictive behavior – from alcohol to food to religion to drugs to exercise to anger. All things that, when they are extreme, can harm ourselves and our lives. I have tried to control and manipulate my environment my whole life so that I can seem more perfect, so that I can make others look less perfect, be a martyr and avoid anyone getting angry with me. To make sure I’m needed. To make sure I’m not abandoned. I got so good… Read more »
I have been in Al-Anon a long time. One of the things I did was to learn as much as I could about alcohol. Alcohol is a poison and depending on the dosage kills the mind and the body. It is hard to be around an alcoholic knowing that I am a witness to their slow death. Their personalities change because their brain is dying. Only they can change this by choosing not to drink. The best thing is to never start. Hindsight is always 20/20. Keep coming back, it works if you work it.
This is my first time learning about Al-Anon. I had my first therapy session today and she suggested I start in this direction. My mother was an alcoholic my entire life. I just ended a 3 year relationship with an alcoholic. My sister struggled with a heroin addiction for 10 years. I have played the role of caretaker for as long as I can remember. I’m finally trying to understand my life and the relationships in it. I struggled for a few years in my early adulthood with drinking and drug experiments. I have going a happy place at age… Read more »
I am here at an AL-ANON meeting for the first time ever after I attended a Nar-Anon meeting last night. Three months ago I started a relationship with a person who is a meth addict in recovery. Being a profoundly spiritual individual all of my life, I have been graced by having a life surrounded by love, compassion, and stability in a home for 22 years and never had problems of addiction around me. My recovery friend had a meth relapsed last week and I just found myself in fear and loss, terrified of a meth overdose and the death… Read more »