Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
I am powerless over alcohol and others. I am learning that I have a lot of issues related to my past and people who abused alcohol. However, I never took control of my self. That is what I wish to do. I am powerless over others and their choice to drink. I am in control of me.
At a young age I joined alateen
At that time I took this first step and I admitted that I was powerless against my mother’s alcoholism. Now coming back into Al-Anon I take this first step again and say my life has become unmanageable with my mother’s and fathers alcoholism. I give myself boundaries between having a relationship with my parents and knowing that I am worthy of a less chaotic life and my needs need to come first.
I am powerless over my partners drinking. I know this but I cannot accept it in my heart. I keep trying to find reasons to stay because I don’t want to start over again. I’m afraid of the loss. I’m afraid of losing the joy and love that exists when he’s sober but he never stays sober for long. He’s in and out of rehab. He stays sober in rehab, follows the process but in two or three weeks he goes back to drinking and the chaos and misery starts over again. The lies, the disappearing, the shouting matches and… Read more »
I’m powerless over my sons addiction
I cannot heal him
I arrived in Al-anon after I moved back home to care for my elderly parents. I had been away from my family of origin for decades except for visits on holidays and special occasions. One day after a long trip to and from the hospital to visit my father I was walking home and received a phone call from him. I could feel the anger and resentment rising up inside me as I hung up the phone. I didn’t realize that the light had changed so I proceeded to cross the street and a car hit me. I ended up… Read more »
I am powerless over the drinking my wife does. She is the absolutely light of my life during the days, but turns into a hateful, mean, evil human when she drinks. She has been through many recovery programs and none stuck. She has had great self injuries because of drunken bouts, but never seems to hit rock bottom. Lately things have been horrific for me, mostly because my spirit has become so weak from the verbal attacks. Today she is trying again and went to an AA meeting. So I came to Al-Anon to try and make sense of it… Read more »
Divorced after 29 years of marriage. I stayed for my three sons. He had two affairs and tries to tell me that it did not happen. Then, he switches to he should have left me. He lost six jobs from 2011-2023. I am only six months from my divorce and still find myself checking on him to see how he is doing and if he got a job. I skipped around on the Steps and was already apologizing to friends and my sons that I’ve hurt by neglecting them and choosing my husband. But now feel like I am still… Read more »
I’m powerless over people, places and things. I know that, yet my new situation has me all twisted in a knot. Why do I have yet again start from scratch? I’ve put so much effort into my program to be able to walk away from my previous spouse. He was very emotionally abusive and never found the program. This is a “new” man and it blindsided me to see after 25 years the same ugliness that I saw in the other guy. It is bringing me to my knees. All what we had lived through is thrown into my face… Read more »
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.” I accept that I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it. My alcoholic husband and I grew up very differently. We have had experiences and traumas that are unique to us, and therefore we have different opinions and ways of thinking. Recognizing that alcoholism is a disease allows me to practice patience and treat him with compassion, respect and the dignity to make his own choices and deal with the consequences. In the past, I have tried threats, hateful words, self-pity,… Read more »
I’m here because my life has been unbearable for 3 years now. My husband’s alcohol and drug abuse has put us in so much debt that I’m afraid of losing our home. We have two young daughters and I want better for them than this. My anxiety from this has to stop. I have to leave this situation. I’m angry, anxious, sad, and sometimes feel sorry for him. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions and I don’t want to enable him or make excuses for him anymore. I’m embarrassed and ashamed but I don’t care anymore.
I am here because my life has become unmanageable. It is falling apart because of my husband’s addiction . We are in so much debt and he is in a sober house. I am terrified that I will need to sell our house and pull my daughter out of her home and away from her school and friends. I am powerless and I am having a really hard time accepting that.
I’ve been in program for many years and Step 1 remains an alive and unfolding experience. My most recent insight is a deepening understanding that it makes no sense to place expectations, hopes, and reliance on something I am completely powerless over, whether that be a person or a situation. Similarly, it is not a good use of my energy to get caught in judgement, resentment, and score keeping over someone or something I’m powerless over. Once I deeply accept my powerlessness over people and situations, a wiser relationship to my loved ones and their situations is possible. I can… Read more »
I’ve been married to an Alcoholic for 14 years. He’s had multiple attempts at sobriety, either working the program or going at it on his one and has currently relapsed. I’m also facing the fact that he’s been unfaithful for at least 5 years. My life is completely unmanageable at this point and my days are full of anxiety. I attended my first meeting in a few years this morning and look forward to the hope that comes through the program and learning from the members each and every day.
Step One was and still is my “go to” whenever I feel a discomfort or that resentment, anger and other negative feelings start to creep in. Today, I recognize the signs and can humbly admit that I am powerless over something. I normally don’t resist, as my resistance to pain has diminished. However, sometimes I stretch my “wellbeing” a little!! My life becoming unmanageable starts with my thoughts and my attitude, thinking that I have the authority, the right to control the situation and make the decision whether this concerns me or others. It took me a while to understand… Read more »
Step One has been a process of understanding it. The first time I practiced it, I thought it meant I was powerless over all things. However, after studying it several times, I experienced it differently. My new understanding is that I have no TRUST in my Higher Power, which I call God, in my life. When I don’t TRUST GOD, I take COMPLETE CONTROL over my life. I become my own Higher Power without power. I run myself on self-propulsion. Therefore, taking control over my life only creates pain in my life and others’. As I’m dealing with it with… Read more »
A couple of years back things got hard during the pandemic. My husband and I began to have problems and he started to drink. I never thought he had a problem, even when he told me he didn’t, I believed him. But his behavior, way of thinking, acting, relating began to change. And the drinking and nicotine began to become more and more regular. A new house guest. I didn’t know what to do about it. I over compensated. Bought all the groceries, planned our lives, cooked, hired cleaners, watched our son, paid the bills and worked hard. All the… Read more »
I couldn’t manage the anxiety every night after my husband would drink. Would he come to bed and try to start an argument? Would he wake up our son? Would I be faced with threats of violence? The panic this caused me sent me to seek help and through my therapist I found Al-Anon. I hate feeling powerless, especially the way I feel powerless over my husband’s addiction and my own response of panic and anxiety. But I have to admit that there is a certain level of calm in admitting that I have no control over something. It removes… Read more »
Step One: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” Today is my second day in Al-Anon. I went to a zoom meeting last night. I feel like I have been alone in the past 5 years of dating my boyfriend. I love him dearly, but his addiction is something that I had kept from my family and my friends. My boyfriend’s mom and my boyfriend suggested I go to Al-Anon. For years I fought it. I thought I could handle it by myself. I grew up with that mindset. That I can fix things myself.… Read more »
I am coming to Al-Anon because my best friend and partner in life is an alcoholic and cannot seem to stop. I have been trying (I’m sure this is a familiar story) to help him. I’ve told him about rehab and recovery – I’m in recovery myself – we used to be drinking buddies. It is painful to watch him suffer – it has affected his health, his mental status and his spiritual life. He is struggling and means well but if he is going to take that step – he has to be the one to do it. The… Read more »
I came into the program as a result of my husband’s addictions. I thought I could fix him and wanted to get help for him. I thought I could fix him because that is what I was trained to do at an early age. I joined Al-Anon to seek help for my husband, but instead I was the one that received help, I knew I was powerless and my life had become unmanageable. I’ve learned that I need to rely on the tools of the program to change my behavior. Step One is the first Step I took, I realized… Read more »