Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
I am at the very first step of Step One. I decided today I need to attend Al-Anon meetings. My first will be tomorrow, by His grace. I am indeed powerless over alcohol and its effects on the alcoholic and its impact on my loved ones. I give over the need for control. The need to try this. The need to say that. The need to change anything. I cannot change anything. I am not the Holy Spirit. I will pray. I will lay the burdens at the feet of Jesus. I will surrender. And I will admit to my… Read more »
As a child of an alcoholic, I fought this feeling all my life not realizing I had a choice. Step One was a gift to me, redefining what it means to feel powerless. I love the feeling now. I don’t have to fix or solve anyone’s problems. Letting go feels better than holding on for dear life with no control, just forcing my will.
Step One: Admitted that I’m powerless is the first step for the rest of my life. As I walk, I need to put one foot in front of the other; if I do not, then I will never move from where I am standing. In the same way, if I do not take Step one for my own wellbeing then I will never move anywhere to find joy and fulfillment in my life. Once I started with Step One, now I can finish taking this Step in order for me to take the next step in my own great emotional… Read more »
I am at Step 1 even though I been in Al-Anon for around 10 years. I am powerless, but some days I am at the realization and some days I am not. I keep on coming back, and I know it works if I work it.
The word “unmanageable” resonates so much with me. For me, this is feeling constantly behind, late, overwhelmed, mentally struggling about the [alcoholic], stressed. And I looked at other “normal” people and became jealous of how easy it seems to be for them. I have gone through feelings of “it’s not fair”, but at this point, I’ve come to realize that I am just not in control of the [alcoholic], and only in control of me. I CAN remove myself and my kids from this situation. I CANNOT control the addiction of another person. And that is a feeling of power… Read more »
As a long time Al-Anon member, I recently relocated to out-of-state to “age out” affordably and each of the 12 Steps guided my path along the way – Step 1 – I became aware I had no option to find affordable senior housing and future assisted living in my NE State of origin residence as a divorced female renter with no children or siblings. I faced semi-retirement/retirement with anger over how [there was no effective support] for the need for future senior housing some 30 years earlier. I had to admit that the lack of housing concern made me feel… Read more »
I’m having spells of PTSD symptoms that’s making it hard to realize that I’m not a problem – my family is. I’ve gone to 2 meetings, one last night. I deeply think I’m broken as a person and also know I have a phd in clinical neuropsychology. I think I’m going crazy all the time, and am a victim of family scapegoat abuse. I know I’m not alone in all factual sense but I’m an adult and need my late grandma’s lap to lay on. I just took a rescue medication to take a nap, so I can finish my… Read more »
I feel like I am on an emotional rollercoaster of…how can I help him…why isn’t it working…how much more can I take…and do I even stay in this situation? I know the reality is that I am powerless, yet I spend an enormous amount of time and effort trying to manage it…it affects my kids, my work, my other relationships…my faith in God is strong, so why can’t I let this go and surrender it to God the same way I am asking him to? Seems hypocritical to not be able to lean on faith when I so badly want… Read more »
Ya…. I’m powerless over alcohol and my life had indeed become unmanageable. But I have hope that things will get better if I follow these Steps!
I am powerless over alcohol… and just about everything else in my life except my own response. Often I’m even powerless over my own feelings! I feel sad, overwhelmed, angry, afraid. So often afraid. I can choose to let those feelings overcome me. I can choose to react, to try to control, to try to “help” by taking over and pretending other people do not have or do not deserve autonomy. On the other hand, I can choose to pause, to recognize and honor my emotions, and turn them over to my Higher Power. I can send a prayer into… Read more »
I admit that am powerless over alcohol. I am powerless over my partner’s drinking. There is nothing I can do, or say, or not do or not say that will help her not to drink. It does not matter if I am there, or not there, if I message her or ring her or take some time replying to a message. So, I can be me, in my moment. And leave the rest to God as I understand him.
I felt so powerless over the cute boss’s drinking problem that my life was unmanageable. I wanted to have contact with him but I could not because if I did I would lose my job. I had to be strong and do the right thing even though it hurt. I learned how to be the best mother possible to my son and how to keep busy and do tons of self-care.
For a while I struggled with the difference between acceptance regarding my powerlessness over people, places, and things and hopelessness… what’s the difference, I asked? I think I feel hopelessness when not only do I realize I have no control over a person, place, thing, or situation but I also pass judgement about it; when I label something as “good” or “bad”. When someone’s behavior bothers me and I wish they were different but have seen the same patterns again and again and lose hope. Acceptance is seeing things as they truly are without judgement. It is what it is… Read more »
I had felt so powerless over the cute boss’s drinking problem that my life was unmanageable. I had to learn how to focus on my job and how to stay away from the cute boss. I had to do so much self-care and worry about saving money and keeping my two jobs, and fighting to pass my online school to get lisenced to sell mortgage insurance to make more income. I had to worry about being the best mother that I could be to my three-year-old son. And to fight to win my case to adopt a little girl, a… Read more »
I am absolutely powerless over alcohol. I have no control whatsoever over it. It has taken me the better part of 15 years to realize that. If I had any control or power over it, my life would not be like how it is today. I thought the more I fixed problems or tried to control outcomes would bring the drinking to an end. I was wrong, and the issues only continued to get worse and the more my life became unmanageable, and my marriage became unmanageable. I no longer want to live in that cycle anymore. As much as… Read more »
I am POWERLESS.
If I wasn’t, what I tried in the past would have worked.
I am powerless over the alcoholic’s drinking and thinking, as well as my adult daughters’. When I start questioning their choices and decisions, the spiral of wanting to fix and control begins to envelop me. It is critical to my serenity to take the First Step daily, reminding myself of my powerlessness and firmly replacing judgmental thoughts by focusing on the acceptance and unconditional love that this program is based upon.
I felt so powerless over the cute boss’s drinking problem that my life was unmanageable. I wanted to have contact with him but I could not because if I did I would lose my job. I had to be strong and do the right thing even though it hurt. I learned how to be the best mother possible to my son and how to keep busy and do tons of self-care.
Today, I love the first word pointed out in my first meeting: We – an incredible spiritual word of belonging. What I only knew as fear and helplessness became the nods of acceptance by those welcoming me to a new way of living.
I didn’t want to admit I was powerless. To me, it meant I was giving up, that I was weak, and that the disease had won. But there came a time when I knew I no longer had a choice. My life was so unmanageable that I truly believed I could no longer live this way. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I was consumed with anger, sadness, fear, and I felt alone and betrayed. Once I became acquainted with Al-Anon, I no longer felt like I was giving up. It’s not giving up; it’s a choice to accept help… Read more »