Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Meetings really are where people find the support they need. We hope that you will consider visiting at least six different meetings before deciding that meetings are not a good fit for you. Keep in mind that although every group practices the same program, you will find that they all have a unique personalities and focus. So visiting a few may help you find the one that feels right. In addition to in-person meetings, you may also want to try some electronic meetings, including some on the Al-Anon Family Groups Mobile App.… Read more »
Hello, I have attended Al-Anon meetings in the past and was overwhelmed by the grief of the other participants. My problem of living with an alcoholic seemed minuscule in comparison. It was so gut-wrenching for me that I couldn’t stop crying, and I never went back. My therapist advised me to check out the website, and so far, it seems very helpful.
I am new to this. My partner is my primary qualifier, and yet, while reading through Al-Anon literature and sitting through my first meeting, I realized that I have been dealing with these feelings of needing to control throughout my entire life. It has always manifested as, “I know better than you.” I know what a person ought to decide, I know what they should do, and I know what the wisest choice is for them. And it always leads to emotional distress for me. So, I have to face the fact that I cannot control anyone. I have no… Read more »
I have been infrequently attending Al-Anon meetings since 2023. I started going to help with my son’s alcohol addiction and to understand how to help. Three years later, I have learned that Al-Anon is for me. For me to surrender to the disease, get my own healing help, and change. I am looking to get started working the Steps and find a sponsor. It is a daunting task to wrap my head around, but I understand my need to do the work to heal from the trauma, guilt, shame, and so many other things that the addiction has caused. I… Read more »
I came to Al-Anon Family Groups because I believe my partner is an alcoholic. I was unsure what to do or where to turn or how to help him. While I am very new to Al-Anon I’ve felt more at peace since attending some meetings. Knowing others are going through this has helped me. If you are unsure if Al-Anon is right for you I encourage you to attend a meeting.
I have been in Al-Anon many years, and it has helped me tremendously in dealing with family and life. I just began working the steps with a focus on my marriage. My husband is the son and father of alcoholics, although he is not an alcoholic. He has a different addiction and no program. I am powerless over that. I am scared about working the steps with my sponsor, focusing on my marriage. But I am very hopeful too because working the steps, traditions and concepts has been so transformative to my life and attitudes and general hopefulness. My sponsor… Read more »
Thank you for your comment. By attending Al-Anon meetings addressing the concerns of parents of alcoholics, you may find more members in the group(s) you attend share about their experiences with similar situations. Consider using the filters on the meeting locator page to choose Parents meetings: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/. Many members also ask other members to become their Sponsor, someone with whom you can share personal details and struggles and receive program ideas to help on a one to one basis. Learning more about the disease aspect of alcoholism through the experiences of other members may help understand how our relationships are… Read more »
New to group. Was estranged from my child for 6 years and she has now called. I see that I am powerless over alcohol, but she said she is in a sober living community. I don’t understand her need to hurt people or to keep it a secret that she talks to me and my husband. I don’t want to mess up any recovery, but she has been quite hurtful and wanting to blame her problems on me and everyone else. How do I continue to stay in her life if I am now the one that suffers her wrath?… Read more »
Step one means I’m powerless over the other person, and that I’m unmanageable. It relieves me of the responsibility of another person’s behavior. What I am responsible for are my actions. I can’t blame my behavior on another person. I take responsibility for myself: financial, spiritual, emotional and mental.
I went to see my qualifier today. He’s very ill and has recently undergone life-altering surgery. I feel powerless over his current illness and also a lot of sadness that his life has turned out the way it did. I want him to know that I love him and that I forgive him. I understand. Though it’s hard for me to say the words out loud, I hope my actions recently speak for themselves. I have reconnected with him and try to maintain an “open line” as opposed to shutting him out. I also know that I am still dealing… Read more »
I am going to visit my dad today who is my qualifier. I have reconnected with him more over the phone since I started going to Al-Anon meetings because my anxiety about interacting with him has subsided a bit. However, I still feel a bit anxious about going to see him in person. Especially because the house where he lives is where my worst childhood memories are from. Today, I am reminding myself: Let Go and Let God. I hope our meeting goes well, I hope that I am able to manage my reactions triggers. AND also today, my motto… Read more »
I felt broken, betrayed and lifeless when I joined this group, I feel my partner is moving away from me but I see a hope now.
Although, I have been in the program for a few 24 hours, Step One is always my “go to” when I feel some discomfort or/and I am starting to feel out of sort. Step One brings me to see that somehow I am powerless over someone or something and I am not ready to see it or accept it. If I don’t stop in my tracks, my life soon becomes unmanageable. When I first came to the program, I felt that my life was quite manageable: I paid my rent, I worked, I kept my house clean, etc., but I… Read more »
I walk back into the rooms of Al-Anon after years of walking away full of shame and brokenness, but that is exactly where I needed to be to regain perspective of the depth of my disease and stop blaming others, and it was only through accepting the first step in all areas of my life.
I haven’t been to Al-Anon meetings in a while. I came back today, because my heart hurts, my arm is kind of numb, and I cannot cry. I feel like I’m a doll just moving because somehow, I have to move. Clearly, I have no control over my life, I feel powerless. I had an argument with my husband a couple days ago, where a boundary was crossed. It has been crossed many times, but this time I was not going to take it. I feel useless, but at the same time I’m a person that has learned to keep… Read more »
I am at the very first step of Step One. I decided today I need to attend Al-Anon meetings. My first will be tomorrow, by His grace. I am indeed powerless over alcohol and its effects on the alcoholic and its impact on my loved ones. I give over the need for control. The need to try this. The need to say that. The need to change anything. I cannot change anything. I am not the Holy Spirit. I will pray. I will lay the burdens at the feet of Jesus. I will surrender. And I will admit to my… Read more »
As a child of an alcoholic, I fought this feeling all my life not realizing I had a choice. Step One was a gift to me, redefining what it means to feel powerless. I love the feeling now. I don’t have to fix or solve anyone’s problems. Letting go feels better than holding on for dear life with no control, just forcing my will.
Step One: Admitted that I’m powerless is the first step for the rest of my life. As I walk, I need to put one foot in front of the other; if I do not, then I will never move from where I am standing. In the same way, if I do not take Step one for my own wellbeing then I will never move anywhere to find joy and fulfillment in my life. Once I started with Step One, now I can finish taking this Step in order for me to take the next step in my own great emotional… Read more »
I am at Step 1 even though I been in Al-Anon for around 10 years. I am powerless, but some days I am at the realization and some days I am not. I keep on coming back, and I know it works if I work it.
The word “unmanageable” resonates so much with me. For me, this is feeling constantly behind, late, overwhelmed, mentally struggling about the [alcoholic], stressed. And I looked at other “normal” people and became jealous of how easy it seems to be for them. I have gone through feelings of “it’s not fair”, but at this point, I’ve come to realize that I am just not in control of the [alcoholic], and only in control of me. I CAN remove myself and my kids from this situation. I CANNOT control the addiction of another person. And that is a feeling of power… Read more »