Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
Once when I was a young doctor, working on a liver unit, there was an alcoholic patient who had been circling the drain for a long time. On his final day, as he slowly slipped away, yellow and bloated and bleeding out of every hole in his body, I explained to his mother that there was nothing more we could do for him she seemed unmoved and emotionless. Perhaps it was shock, but something told me otherwise, that it was as if she didn’t care, that she had nothing to say or nothing to give. I was aghast, this was… Read more »
I have had this app on my phone for a while and been too afraid to navigate it. Using the app or even attending a meeting would mean that I had to face reality right? I realized this weekend that I have to face reality. No matter what I do, or how much I try to support my boyfriend, I cannot control his addiction. I cannot prevent him from relapsing. As I waited Friday, with his children who were visiting for the weekend, for him to pick up dinner, the anxiety and fear I live with every day became reality.… Read more »
Step 1 – I am powerless so I am taking back my freedom.
This step is the reason I came to Al-Anon.
I was not the alcoholic, but the students AND teachers were. Everyone had their own story, but I was the victim…yes, I was powerless. As I grew up, my parents were against alcohol, but they proved themselves to be haters…not against the alcoholics per se, but against how they lived. Yet, there was never any stand against alcohol – just the lifestyles of the alcoholic. Growing up in the Philadelphia area, my father loved the Mummer’s Day Parade…and my grandfather was a strong teacher of music which absolutely included the string bands (banjos and other instruments) – the core of… Read more »
Powerlessness… it’s not giving up or giving in. It’s just saying I never had control, and never will.
Hard to do. And I find that I have to do it over and over again. Sometimes it’s easier than others, sometimes it is next to impossible. But I can’t move on until I do. Because if I’m not in control, who is?
Knowing Step 2 is next helps, but that knowledge took a while to get to.
So I start again with Step 1. Admitting that I am powerless.
Step One is first and foremost about accepting that alcoholism is a disease. Before I came to Al-Anon, I had no idea that was the case. I thought alcoholism was simply a choice and that my spouse could stop drinking if he really wanted to stop and was willing to put in the effort. I myself was certainly putting in the effort to convince him to stop but I was failing miserably and no matter what I did or did not do, he continued to drink. After coming to Al-Anon, I learned so many principles, slogans, and tools of the… Read more »
Sometimes I wonder what it is that is so unmanageable about my life. The problem is not as straightforward as alcoholism. My disease consists of being driven to insanity by circumstances that force me to relive the dynamics of having grown up in an alcoholic household. In an effort to Keep It Simple, I invented an acronym, so I remember what happens when I am triggered by such circumstances. I try not to get hurt by SWORDS: Shame, Worry, Obsession, Resentment, Denial, and Stubbornness. I can’t will SWORDS out of existence, but I can learn not to grab them by… Read more »
The moment I finally learned that I am totally powerless over alcohol was the moment I started living again. I had tried so many times to deter him from drinking. Broke bottles, filled bottles with water, stocked the refrigerator with other types of drinks thinking that he would choose those over the alcohol. Looking back I still shake my head and the foolishness of those actions. He was powerless and so was I. I had attended AA meetings in the past with him so I knew of Al-Anon. I knew that I couldn’t stop him or fix him so I… Read more »
How exciting! The first week of the first month of the year my home group focuses on Step One and our Al-Anon Member Blog gives us the opportunity to reflect and share our experience, strength and hope on it as well. We admitted something. At first we were unaware. All our energy was directed towards trying to change that which we cannot change. And so, yes, our lives had become unmanageable. But for the Grace of God we came upon the program and Kept Coming Back. We embrace the Serenity Prayer and on our own and in our groups we… Read more »
Step One is of great importance to my recovery. Whenever I face conflicts, doubts, questionings, mixed or negative feelings, among other things, I know that I am powerless over something. Then I must see that I have not recognized the something in question or/and that I am not willing to admit it. However, over the years, I have become able to feel when my life is getting into an unreasonable state and usually I can stop it on its trail. I heard said: We change when the pain of being the way we are is greater than the pain of… Read more »
What does it say about me if I don’t accept Step 1? It suggests that I believe I know what is best for the people I love and that I know the paths they should follow. There is a word for that: arrogance! Just for today I can allow those around me to live their own lives without my interference.
I have realized over the last few months that I am powerless over my son’s addiction. Last week the picture became clear as I told him that he either pay rent or face eviction. He finally came clean that he has a problem with opioids. He agreed to detox but will get out soon and has no desire to stop smoking weed or to change his friend group. I have to face that I am powerless to his decisions and I have to let him grow up and make mistakes. My strength is found in sticking to the facts, and… Read more »
I recently joined Al-Anon because my qualifier went to rehab a year ago and got sober. I tried to come into the rooms while he was gone for the 30 days and when he came home but it did not stick. I was not ready. Everything was so new and I did not feel like things were unmanageable after a few meetings. So I didn’t attend another meeting. I stop reading the materials. It has been a year and he is still sober, which I thank my higher power and his that he is still on his journey of recovery.… Read more »
The moment in my life where I truly thought my life was unmanageable was when myself and my qualifier which was my ex husband/boyfriend were in the car with our kids driving up to detox (that I had forced him to go countless of times) and before getting out of the car he snorted a line. At that moment I didn’t say one word and thought well he needs his “last high” before he gets help. He left that facility not even 24 hours later and no one heard from him for a few days. I was drowning and I… Read more »
I’m very new to Al-Anon, so I am just now learning the 12 steps. I have been thinking a lot about Step 1, and it was so profound for me. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders as I considered the fact that I absolutely can’t control anyone else, only myself. But I think to actually put that into practice in my life will take me some time. I am struggling to find a balance between being supportive, compassionate and loving to my spouse while at the same time protecting myself from the inevitable disappointment I feel… Read more »
It has taken me forever to finally throw my hands up and realize that I am powerless to my partner’s addiction. I have tried everything and I am finally reaching out for help for myself because I can not help him. God has been my strength. My family has suffered along with me and I need to advocate for myself and for my kids because he is not ready or willing to get help. There is a sense of peace with me getting to this point. I want to let go of all of this.
My life is so unmanageable, again! At least I get that part of Step 1. I still have such a hard time knowing that I also am powerless. Why do I still think I can handle it and fix everything after all these years?! (30)
I think I am finally getting it that I am powerless over my husband’s alcoholism. Working Step One is something right now I have to do all day so my head can stay clear and my heart can remain calm and I can make decisions for myself that I have not made in years and set boundaries to take care of me. Asking god for help for clarity and strength is a big one too and I don’t know how sometimes it’s going off in another room and breathe breathe breathe. Step One gives me the permission to live my… Read more »
I felt powerless over my ex soulmate and best friend’s drinking issue when my adoptive mother told me that they were very drunk looking for me in the office that my life was unmanageable, because they could not come into the building because we were closed to the public due to the virus. All I wanted to do to him was to call him and help him and save him from his disease of drinking. I learned that I could Not help him and that the only thing that I could do was to pray for him and to forgive… Read more »