Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
The moment I finally learned that I am totally powerless over alcohol was the moment I started living again. I had tried so many times to deter him from drinking. Broke bottles, filled bottles with water, stocked the refrigerator with other types of drinks thinking that he would choose those over the alcohol. Looking back I still shake my head and the foolishness of those actions. He was powerless and so was I. I had attended AA meetings in the past with him so I knew of Al-Anon. I knew that I couldn’t stop him or fix him so I… Read more »
How exciting! The first week of the first month of the year my home group focuses on Step One and our Al-Anon Member Blog gives us the opportunity to reflect and share our experience, strength and hope on it as well. We admitted something. At first we were unaware. All our energy was directed towards trying to change that which we cannot change. And so, yes, our lives had become unmanageable. But for the Grace of God we came upon the program and Kept Coming Back. We embrace the Serenity Prayer and on our own and in our groups we… Read more »
Step One is of great importance to my recovery. Whenever I face conflicts, doubts, questionings, mixed or negative feelings, among other things, I know that I am powerless over something. Then I must see that I have not recognized the something in question or/and that I am not willing to admit it. However, over the years, I have become able to feel when my life is getting into an unreasonable state and usually I can stop it on its trail. I heard said: We change when the pain of being the way we are is greater than the pain of… Read more »
What does it say about me if I don’t accept Step 1? It suggests that I believe I know what is best for the people I love and that I know the paths they should follow. There is a word for that: arrogance! Just for today I can allow those around me to live their own lives without my interference.
I have realized over the last few months that I am powerless over my son’s addiction. Last week the picture became clear as I told him that he either pay rent or face eviction. He finally came clean that he has a problem with opioids. He agreed to detox but will get out soon and has no desire to stop smoking weed or to change his friend group. I have to face that I am powerless to his decisions and I have to let him grow up and make mistakes. My strength is found in sticking to the facts, and… Read more »
I recently joined Al-Anon because my qualifier went to rehab a year ago and got sober. I tried to come into the rooms while he was gone for the 30 days and when he came home but it did not stick. I was not ready. Everything was so new and I did not feel like things were unmanageable after a few meetings. So I didn’t attend another meeting. I stop reading the materials. It has been a year and he is still sober, which I thank my higher power and his that he is still on his journey of recovery.… Read more »
The moment in my life where I truly thought my life was unmanageable was when myself and my qualifier which was my ex husband/boyfriend were in the car with our kids driving up to detox (that I had forced him to go countless of times) and before getting out of the car he snorted a line. At that moment I didn’t say one word and thought well he needs his “last high” before he gets help. He left that facility not even 24 hours later and no one heard from him for a few days. I was drowning and I… Read more »
I’m very new to Al-Anon, so I am just now learning the 12 steps. I have been thinking a lot about Step 1, and it was so profound for me. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders as I considered the fact that I absolutely can’t control anyone else, only myself. But I think to actually put that into practice in my life will take me some time. I am struggling to find a balance between being supportive, compassionate and loving to my spouse while at the same time protecting myself from the inevitable disappointment I feel… Read more »
It has taken me forever to finally throw my hands up and realize that I am powerless to my partner’s addiction. I have tried everything and I am finally reaching out for help for myself because I can not help him. God has been my strength. My family has suffered along with me and I need to advocate for myself and for my kids because he is not ready or willing to get help. There is a sense of peace with me getting to this point. I want to let go of all of this.
My life is so unmanageable, again! At least I get that part of Step 1. I still have such a hard time knowing that I also am powerless. Why do I still think I can handle it and fix everything after all these years?! (30)
I think I am finally getting it that I am powerless over my husband’s alcoholism. Working Step One is something right now I have to do all day so my head can stay clear and my heart can remain calm and I can make decisions for myself that I have not made in years and set boundaries to take care of me. Asking god for help for clarity and strength is a big one too and I don’t know how sometimes it’s going off in another room and breathe breathe breathe. Step One gives me the permission to live my… Read more »
I felt powerless over my ex soulmate and best friend’s drinking issue when my adoptive mother told me that they were very drunk looking for me in the office that my life was unmanageable, because they could not come into the building because we were closed to the public due to the virus. All I wanted to do to him was to call him and help him and save him from his disease of drinking. I learned that I could Not help him and that the only thing that I could do was to pray for him and to forgive… Read more »
I’ve lived with a gash in my throat for as long as I can remember. But, for as long as I can remember, I haven’t been conscious of it. Today is the day my denial finally broke. I was reading the comments in this blog related to Step One, and one of them said ”DENIAL = Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying”. For some reason, that stuck with me. And it baffled me. I couldn’t work out what it was I was in denial about but I knew there must be something. Growing up, I witnessed my mother’s denial about… Read more »
I understand I am powerless over others and my life has become unmanageable. All my life I have exerted power over others, addicts, alcoholics to control them to minimize my pain from the hurt I receive from them. I realize now that’s crazy because I just keep going round and round in circles and everything gets worse!!! Easy to say. Difficult to do because when I do it I have to also admit the part I play in this family disease which takes courage and strength. I pray to my higher power to admit this daily. Thank you for listening.
As many have mentioned I realized I can no longer help my mother and father. I have been the adult in the family for longer than I can think of. I have raised my siblings due to my parents drinking. I cannot remember a day where I don’t live in fear. I paid for their food, paid their rent and car insurance for years so they do not become homeless. Yesterday was a wake-up call. Once my mother yelled to me saying all I am doing is trying to get her house and kick her out, being that I live… Read more »
I finally realized that I can not help my 49-year-old son. I had to step back and find healthier ways to deal with this. He does not want to come and see me anymore, stating that since I talked to him (argued) about his drinking, he no longer feels comfortable coming to see me. He would come up with my grandson and literally be obliterated for the weekend. He really wasn’t even visiting me for years, he would just come up and drink a case of beer a night. I couldn’t watch my grandson subjected to this any longer either… Read more »
I apologize in advance for the novel. I have never been to an Al-Anon meeting nor posted anything about this in the past, so I figured Step One was the right place to start. Since I’m not sure how this all works, I figure I’ll start with a back-story. I’ve been thinking about joining Al-Anon for a while now, due to my husband’s drinking. When we started dating, about 11 years ago, the two of us basically built our relationship around alcohol. I began drinking a lot, partially because I had just turned 21 when he and I met, and… Read more »
I now understand that I cannot control my son’s drinking. He cares deeply about what I think, and when drunk repeatedly apologizes to me. He said he knows he has disappointed me – which breaks my heart because it is true. I do not want to isolate myself from my son but need to accept that I do not have the power to change him. This is a tough one.
When I heard I was powerless over my adolescent son’s drinking I was relieved. And confused. It was clear to me that I couldn’t make him stop. We tried everything we could think of… rehabs, therapy, medication, discipline, consequences, punishment, bargaining, anger, tears, enabling, and lots and lots of talking and explaining. Still, I am his parent and responsible for him. With guidance from others, reading literature, and working the Steps I learned that I couldn’t control his drinking, but I still did have some influence over other areas of his life such as setting reasonable boundaries – like a… Read more »
I feel the unmanageability of some friendships and my struggle to stay in one place and in one relationship, which accumulates this sense of claustrophobia and the need for change and new, as an active challenge to help dissipate all that I’ve accumulated. My life has been super chaotic in the past, but it feels like I’ve worked through so much of what I struggled with as a child of an alcoholic family and community. But there’s something coming to the surface now, in my latter 40s, and relative to the world situation: my work feels stuck, and two close… Read more »