I am powerless over alcoholism. For many years I treated Step One as a lesson. I could not do anything about my loved one’s drinking. I was powerless over the alcoholic’s lying, stealing, anger, and absenteeism from our marriage. It helped me in a strange way to feel I was not responsible. However, it was not until I applied this Step to myself that I learned its real meaning.

I can’t control anything or anyone but myself. I, myself, am powerless over alcoholism. I found serenity when I surrendered to this fact and examined myself. I cannot control the effect alcoholism has on me; I can only change how I respond to the disease. I was impacted greatly by the disease. I developed triggers and resentment that took years to recognize and deal with. My trauma was overwhelming. I had thought only the alcoholic was powerless, when in fact, we both were. The disease is a family disease and affects all who are around it. I did not drink, but I, too, lied and was angry and absent from the marriage.

It is hard to look inside myself and be truthful about my real feelings. It’s so much easier to look at others, especially the alcoholic, and think I know what is best. I am powerless over alcoholism. I will today look inside and find the truth about myself and what I want and need. My marriage cannot heal unless I heal first, and that has taken a lot of reflection, help, and Al‑Anon.

By Julie L.

The Forum, July 2025

 

Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.