After many years of marriage, I realized that my wife’s drinking was becoming a serious problem. A family counselor insisted that my wife attend 30 A.A. meetings in 30 days and that I attend as many Al‑Anon meetings as I could find in 30 days. Resentfully, we complied. Admittedly, I was a controlling person. I had been a military pilot and learned that, anytime my life got “off centerline,” I had to be quick to fix it. However, I was totally baffled by the fact that I could not fix my wife’s drinking.
When I entered Al‑Anon some time later, my life changed. I began to work the Twelve Steps, and I continue to attend meetings every chance I get. Once my wife started attending A.A. meetings, I thought that we had both finally found peace again. Eventually, though, she started finding ways to push away from her meetings. Things went from bad to worse when she started blacking out. It seemed like the honeymoon was over, but she finally agreed to go to in-patient treatment. She has been home now for less than two weeks.
I have learned that there are no promises and no guarantees for the future. I cannot negotiate with alcoholism. Through this process, my Al‑Anon tools were put to the test, as was my faith in my Higher Power. However, I found the strength to weather this storm, thanks to this program. My journey has not been easy. It has brought the pain of new growth and humility. I still believe in the love that binds my wife and me together, despite alcoholism, and I believe that together, we will win this one.
By Rick H., Georgia
The Forum, May 2018