When I decided life wasn’t worth living… I remembered my therapist & her Al‑Anon recommendation

During September, there are several awareness campaigns aimed at raising awareness about suicide prevention. While Al‑Anon supports anyone affected by someone else’s drinking, many of our members have either had thoughts of suicide or have been affected because a loved one died by suicide or attempted suicide.

In this video, Magdalena, an anonymous Al‑Anon member, shares about the desperation she felt coming from a family severely affected by alcoholism. She ended up in a place where she felt that her only option was to murder her children and take her own life herself. Luckily, she remembered a recommendation for Al‑Anon from her therapist. Getting involved in Al‑Anon pulled her out of the despair and gave her the tools she needed to take control of her life and be a better mother.

Watch her interview to find out more.

If you are having thoughts about harming yourself, please reach out for support. You can find local and national resources by searching the internet for “national suicide hotline.”

If your life has been affected by the family disease of alcoholism, consider attending a few Al‑Anon, or Alateen (for teens), meetings.


This interview was recorded at the 2018 Al‑Anon International Convention in Baltimore, Maryland, USA. Members were asked to share about various aspects of the Al‑Anon program and their personal experience.

Members’ anonymity is protected so that they can share openly and honestly about their experience with a loved one’s drinking and with the Al‑Anon program.

The opinions expressed in this video were strictly those of the person who gave them.

Video Transcript

When I decided life wasn’t worth living… I remembered my therapist & her Al‑Anon recommendation

INTERVIEWER: Magdalena, can you share with us why you came to Al‑Anon?

MEMBER: I came to Al‑Anon because a therapist suggested it was a good program for me. All of my relatives were using drugs and drank alcohol uncontrollably, especially my husband. My husband was in prison.

And I got to a point where alcoholism had affected me so much that I decided life wasn’t worth living. So, I made up my mind that I was going to kill my children and take my own life because I felt so hopeless.

I remembered that the therapist had suggested that I go to Al‑Anon and I came to Al‑Anon desperate. I didn’t know how but I had a great desire to go on and I knew that Al‑Anon was going to help me.

INTERVIEWER: And what did you learn in Al‑Anon?

MEMBER: Coming to Al‑Anon, I learned that alcoholism was a disease and that it had affected me since I was a child because I had lived with my father who is an alcoholic. Later I married an alcoholic and my grandfather is also an alcoholic.

I learned that it was a family disease and that there were Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts that would help me move forward. I learned how to love myself and I learned that if I didn’t love myself, I couldn’t love anyone else. I loved my children very much and I learned that I had to take care of myself first so that I could then take care of my children.