What Al‑Anon tools help you to find acceptance?
Please share your experiences by commenting on the topic below. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
This month we’re asking you to share on what Al‑Anon tools help you to find acceptance?
I recently found out the unemployment I received during the pandemic wasn’t mine to keep. For a few months my wife and I kept it in a separate account so as not to touch it in case there was a mistake in my determination and my understanding in the way I had answered the required questions. My intention was to be honest, but I have to also admit that the part time job I lost during the pandemic was important income for a retiree. I wanted to believe I had a right to that benefit because after all, “other people… Read more »
I was feeling trapped by my situation just a few minutes ago, and then I “randomly” searched Acceptance Al-anon into Google and all of these wonderful responses came up. I determined today that I am disturbed by a person’s presence, and I had been trying not to say it. But in allowing myself to finally admit it, I can start to have compassion and realize it isn’t the person that I dislike, it’s their disease and mine. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and help me to see the good in the other person.… Read more »
My job offers many opportunities for me to practice acceptance. I was presenting a topic in a virtual meeting today and my boss said something that I felt undermined me. I was so upset… it was the middle of a 3 hour meeting and I didn’t know quite what to do. I finished my short presentation and put myself on mute. I opened a blank Word doc and typed the Serenity Prayer, over and over. The final time I typed it went like this: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,” – I can’t change who… Read more »
Acceptance for me has always been a problem. I don’t get there until I work my way through the 3 A’s “Awareness” comes first, it doesn’t matter how many times someone point’s out a defect that is causing me a problem until I see it myself I can’t change it, see it I have to accept it . “Action” is the next part and always the hardest for me, change the behaviour. “Acceptance” is the way to freedom. I am grateful I no longer have tunnel vision and am open to change.
Admitting I am powerless and recognizing that each person has their own Higher Power helps me accept troubling situations.
Tradition One and “Principles above Personalities” helps me accept people.
What I heard in my first meeting over 30 years ago was the beginning of hope for me. It still brings tears to my eyes. “We will love you until you can love yourself.” At that time I didn’t think I was worth the air I breathed. They also said “Keep coming back,” but it was the 1st statement that made me want to come back. Gradually I came to understand that I was worth loving. If God loved me I was of value. Through the gift of Al-Anon I have turned my life around. I don’t live with an… Read more »
The “Serenity Prayer” is the best tool for me. Second to that are the Slogans. These are short points of reference, which have been very powerful tools in my journey of recovery. “Accepting what I cannot change,” and “Letting Go and Letting God,” gives me immense freedom, and liberates me from the discomfort I begin to feel when dealing with a difficult situation.
My journey to acceptance started when I attended my first meeting that gave me hope. Full of fear of the “what ifs,” alone, and desperate was my best description of me. I heard the Serenity Prayer at the beginning of the meeting, and I used it over and over until I started to get a minuscule amount of peace. Just for Today pamphlet, I read repeatedly. I would pick one paragraph and work on just that part, like “no criticism or judgement” and “doing something for someone and not get found out,” so far I have not mastered that one.… Read more »
The Serenity Prayer helps me find acceptance. It brings me back into focus. It helps me to realize where I am powerless, and reminds me to find the courage to focus on myself and my own character defects and/or defences. When I focus on myself, I can be more accepting of others. The other thing that helps me find acceptance is talking things over with my Sponsor. Once I ‘name it’ (the feeling I’m having), I can work towards accepting it, and then letting it go.
I learned acceptance when I heard the phrase “stop taking other peoples inventories” at a meeting. It helped me see how critical I was of my alcoholic and how my criticism was an attempt to change him. This phrase helped me accept him and focus on myself.
Going to meetings regularly has helped me find acceptance. Acceptance that I am not alone in my feelings and experiences with the alcoholic. When I share a problem with my group, I hear the answer in other people’s sharings and it is easier to find and accept the answer from my Higher Power, than if I had struggled to find the answer myself and second-guessed my solution.
Best of all, I have come to accept myself and love myself with all my flaws.
Understanding the message of the 3 C’s that I didn’t cause it, that I can’t control it and that I can’t cure it, has helped me with acceptance. I know I am powerless over alcoholism and that has empowered me. I can only control myself and my own reactions. When I use the tools of the program, I find serenity.
I was able to accept myself as a less than perfect human, but still lovable, when I did a Step 9 with my wife. I asked how could I make amends for my poor behaviour in our marriage so far. She replied: “Just keep doing what you’re doing.” What I was doing was going to Al-Anon meetings and becoming less critical and more accepting of her as an individual. Then I guess the more I feel accepted within myself, the more able I will be able to accept others as they are. Here’s cheers for a Step 9 done. Three… Read more »
The gift of sponsorship has taught me about acceptance. When I was new in the program, the meeting I attended included a brief “word about sponsorship” within the opening to the meeting. As I kept coming back, I heard members comment about “my Sponsor” in their shares. I soon realized, this was an Al-Anon tool I needed to explore. What a gift! My Sponsor supported me and loved me through my work of the 12 Steps of Al-Anon. As she accepted me and loved me unconditionally, I learned to accept and love myself. I don’t always do it perfectly and… Read more »
Our Conference Approved Literature (CAL) helps me find acceptance. I look in the indexes for words such as “acceptance,” “detachment,” and “forgiveness” then read all of the entries listed. Journaling to my Higher Power also helps. Writing to the God of my own understanding gives me a way to reflect on what I’ve read in CAL and heard in meetings. That process leads me to new insights, like the time I realized I couldn’t accept a past hurt had happened because I wasn’t willing to forgive. As I became more willing to forgive, I became more accepting. Sharing in meetings… Read more »
When I first came into the program, the Slogans were the handrails while I learned the Steps. I could easily remember two or three to keep me from reacting. The CAL I had on hand – Al-Anon’s “blue book”, Hope for Today and Courage to Change Daily Readers, Paths to Recovery and the Reaching for Personal Freedom workbook. Completing the Steps and Traditions sections has brought such clarity and acceptance for me, in what I was “bringing to the table”. Hard but humbling.
I discovered acceptance from the literature One Day at a Time, Hope for Today, and Courage to Change. The index in the back of these daily readers are extremely helpful to me. I also attended many meetings early in my recovery to “listen to the winners” and learn about how they worked their Al-Anon program. Without these early tools, I may not have understood the footwork I would need to pursue. I learned to identify with these Al-Anon people and all l had to do was listen. These people became my Al-Anon friends, and in time, some of my closest… Read more »
Prayer and Meditation helps me to find acceptance by surrendering my will and focusing on HP’s will. Slogans help me to be compassionate towards myself and others, thus it helps me to find acceptance too. Al-Anon three legacies brings out a good person in me – Steps help me to recover from the effects of alcoholism, Traditions help me to bring unity in my relationships, and Concepts help me to participate and stay in harmony through service. Thus these three Legacies helps me to find acceptance. My Sponsor is one of the biggest tool, through her unconditional love helps me… Read more »
The serenity prayer helps me find acceptance. I repeat it over and over focusing on changing myself and accepting what I can’t change-other people, places, and things. It calms me and helps keep the focus on me.
Acceptance is hard for me. Sometimes it takes me a long time to get from awareness to acceptance; there are things I don’t want to accept, to be real. In a few short years I lost my marriage, my beautiful Mom (my alcoholic), and several pets. I had to accept all of these things and they were things I thought I could never live through if they happened. I can’t believe I’m still here after all that’s changed in my life, but I am and that’s due to my HP and Al-Anon. As far as acceptance, it took a very… Read more »