Step Six
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 6. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
As a long time Al-Anon member, I recently relocated to out of State to ‘age out’ affordably and each of the 12 Steps guided my path along the way – Step 6 – With a daily personal inventory to my Higher Power, I became more and more assured I was doing the right action step for my future and the trust in myself and my HP grew. I was getting more and more validation from strangers and I knew there are no coincidences. God was guiding me on the right Path and he would take care of my family of… Read more »
If I were to come up with a definition of “defects of character” it would solve many of my problems. I have depression and anxiety. These medical issues result in many unproductive thoughts and behaviors. My negativism and impatience are not character defects. They are symptoms of a family illness which has been passed down with or without the use of alcohol. Are these going to be removed? Some say there can be a miracle but I don’t expect Al-Anon to bring sight to the blind and bring back people from the dead. The miracle for me is to accept… Read more »
It took me a while to full embrace Step Six. The words “entirely” and “all” were stumbling blocks for me. I had some reserve as far as letting go completely and I wanted to keep some of these defects of character that, in my mind, greatly help me to navigate in life. I felt that some of those defects of characters such as anger and false pride were giving me some power, some sense of control and a sense of importance. Little did I know that they were hurting others and hurting me as well in the process. I felt… Read more »
As I was approaching Step 6 during my study of the Steps, my Sponsor reminded me that to be entirely ready required the ingredient faith. Faith that with my Higher Power, I can accomplish great things. Even if I become discouraged or frustrated, she reminded me there is no circumstance or setback greater than my HP.
I learned that just because I’m entirely ready to have God remove all my defects of character, it doesnt mean that they will disappear immediately. To me it means that I have acknowledged and accepted that these defects of character exist. It means that I no longer want them because they no longer serve me. But, I still need to continue doing the necessary work to get rid of them.
When I first worked Step Six with my Sponsor, I was excited about the idea of a Higher Power removing my defects of character. The sticky part for me was the idea of being “entirely” ready. Perhaps I am just too literal a thinker, but more likely I am too stuck in the idea of having to be perfect. I felt like I had to be 100% entirely ready with every fiber of my being and so I agonizingly labored over Step Six. Finally, after many thoughtful discussions with my Sponsor, through extensive journaling, meditation and conversations with my Higher… Read more »
Becoming “entirely ready” takes time and GOD holds the Stop Watch–not me. I Accept that I am not GOD and only GOD can “remove all of these defects of character” for me. My readiness to allow GOD to lead and trust the process is scary. Sometimes I want some gone now and others I cling to—releasing my fear and grip on these survival skills allows me to have trust in GOD’s time and this process—thank you to those that have gone before me on this Step Journey and shared your experience, strength, and hope in our CAL so I could… Read more »
God is a gentleman. He doesn’t wrestle my defects from me. I have to willingly give them up. Why wouldn’t I want to give up my defects?! Well, sometimes I don’t want to give them up because I’m still using them! I’m afraid of changing my behavior or giving up my reliance on negative actions that I still feel will bring me what I want. I still find myself using manipulation, placing my trust and value in my appearance, and seeking security and affirmation in a certain person. The imagined payoff from these defects is an illusion, but the cost… Read more »
As a human being, I will never be perfect. Therefore, in my opinion, my defects of character will never be totally removed. But, because I have identified, acknowledged, and accepted them, I can work on not being a prisoner of them. I can let God guide me into focusing on my positive character traits allowing me to be the best person that I can be. God doesn’t want perfection from me, he wants improvement.
When I first read Step Six I resisted as I didn’t like the idea of “ALL these defects of character”. There were defects of character that I wanted to hang on to as they were, as I saw it then, helping me to face people and situations with bravado. Sarcasm and explosive anger were two that I felt helpful. There were defects of character that I was ready to let go of, such as getting offended easily and reacting too strongly to situations, after leaning on Step Six for a while. I knew that those ones, among others, were not… Read more »
I’ve been thru the Steps several times now, but never really paid much attention to Step 6. I thought that as long as I did Steps 4 and 5, I could move quickly to Steps 8 and 9. I think I am drawn to these later Steps because they give me a sense that I have the ability to influence outcomes. This is one of my defects of character. I also confuse hope with expectation, assuming that if I let go of hope, I can relieve my suffering. I continue to place expectations on myself and others. Despite my best… Read more »
Step Six reminds me how I get in the way of myself. It is like stubbing my toe on the same thing over and over. I can identify that what I am doing and how it no longer serves me and instead how it trips me up. I begin to pinpoint where I cause myself to stumble, where I am not being my best self, and where my life path is messy. My reluctance to speak up was part of my silent passive reaction to alcoholic parents who invalidated me and I carried this pattern into my marriage. Once I… Read more »
Step Six always gave me and still gives me hope for the future. When I first started working on this Step I put aside the word “entirely” as I felt it was asking that I gave up a lot. I was ready to let go of some character defects, that I knew were causing me some problems. However, some others seemed to serve me well, or so I thought. For example, I wanted to let God remove my anger that was causing confrontations for which I was, at that point, unable to handle. On the other hand, I wanted to… Read more »
Having identified my defects of character in Step 4 and admitting them to God, myself and another human being in Step 5, I am now ready to have them all removed in Step 6. But I still have work to do. God will remove them when he sees fit. I think the process goes slowly, not instantly as I once thought. Sometimes I review some of the defects that are still hanging on and I realize that although they have not been removed, they are slowly changing. I see positive things coming out of what I thought were stubborn defects… Read more »
6th Month Step 6 gives me an opportunity to reflect on the balanced character traits, as well as the unbalanced character traits I discovered while working (Studying) Step 4 with a trusted Al-Anon member. With regard to those unbalanced character traits, as I reflect, I get to determine whether or not I am entirely ready to say ¡hasta la vista! to those unhelpful ones. This Spanish saying translates to: See you. See you later Until next time. I see the word “remove” in Step 6 as a noun rather than a verb. I “co”operate with Power greater than myself (recognizing… Read more »
Step Six gives me great hope because it reminds me that removing my character defects is my Higher Power’s job, not mine. I spent many years frustrated with myself, trying to fix or hide all my flaws. If I could fix myself, I would’ve done it a long time ago! Among the many things I’m powerless over are the “outdated coping mechanisms” that are now keeping me from living fully. Thinking of my character defects as survival skills I’ve outgrown helps me to look at them without beating myself up or hiding behind lies. The work of getting better is… Read more »
To me, the Sixth Step means a very big surrender. I surrender them all to HP and HP gets to pick and choose which character “challenges” (as my Sponsor likes to call them) he wants to remove in order for me to do what he wants me to do as far as being of service to him. Most of my defects have been removed very gradually and in very small doses. I believe he works with me as he works with everything in nature. For example, I love to look at pictures of the Grand Canyon which is 70 million… Read more »
My unintentional life’s mission has often involved mudding up waters that are crystal clear with the toxins of my old thought patterns. Thanks to God and the clearness of the program itself, he reveals my defects to me. He even puts people in my life that make my defects of character obvious given my interactions with them. Yes, I want those defects removed. And sometimes I see the progress of removal. Then something happens to my thinking, and I drudge up some old pattern of thought and I’m back to my defective way of behaving. Consequently, I’m trying to focus on these three ideas… Read more »
Were entirely ready doesn’t mean that my defects of character will miraculously disappear as I first thought when I skimmed through the steps. It means that I have acknowledged and accepted that I have these defects of character and because they no longer serve me, I am ready and willing to let them go.
Step Six simply put asks of me to be completely prepared/willing to have God to take away these defects of character that I have. This requires of me also not use the «ifs» and «buts» that kept those defects justifiable. I have, over the years, accumulated defects, which in the past served me well. Those faults had become defense mechanism and sometimes survival tools when facing alcoholism at its worst. Because, I am in the program that time is gone! I must «one day at the time» try to be the best person that I could be. I have to… Read more »