Step Six
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 6. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
God is a gentleman. He doesn’t wrestle my defects from me. I have to willingly give them up. Why wouldn’t I want to give up my defects?! Well, sometimes I don’t want to give them up because I’m still using them! I’m afraid of changing my behavior or giving up my reliance on negative actions that I still feel will bring me what I want. I still find myself using manipulation, placing my trust and value in my appearance, and seeking security and affirmation in a certain person. The imagined payoff from these defects is an illusion, but the cost… Read more »
As a human being, I will never be perfect. Therefore, in my opinion, my defects of character will never be totally removed. But, because I have identified, acknowledged, and accepted them, I can work on not being a prisoner of them. I can let God guide me into focusing on my positive character traits allowing me to be the best person that I can be. God doesn’t want perfection from me, he wants improvement.
When I first read Step Six I resisted as I didn’t like the idea of “ALL these defects of character”. There were defects of character that I wanted to hang on to as they were, as I saw it then, helping me to face people and situations with bravado. Sarcasm and explosive anger were two that I felt helpful. There were defects of character that I was ready to let go of, such as getting offended easily and reacting too strongly to situations, after leaning on Step Six for a while. I knew that those ones, among others, were not… Read more »
I’ve been thru the Steps several times now, but never really paid much attention to Step 6. I thought that as long as I did Steps 4 and 5, I could move quickly to Steps 8 and 9. I think I am drawn to these later Steps because they give me a sense that I have the ability to influence outcomes. This is one of my defects of character. I also confuse hope with expectation, assuming that if I let go of hope, I can relieve my suffering. I continue to place expectations on myself and others. Despite my best… Read more »
Step Six reminds me how I get in the way of myself. It is like stubbing my toe on the same thing over and over. I can identify that what I am doing and how it no longer serves me and instead how it trips me up. I begin to pinpoint where I cause myself to stumble, where I am not being my best self, and where my life path is messy. My reluctance to speak up was part of my silent passive reaction to alcoholic parents who invalidated me and I carried this pattern into my marriage. Once I… Read more »
Step Six always gave me and still gives me hope for the future. When I first started working on this Step I put aside the word “entirely” as I felt it was asking that I gave up a lot. I was ready to let go of some character defects, that I knew were causing me some problems. However, some others seemed to serve me well, or so I thought. For example, I wanted to let God remove my anger that was causing confrontations for which I was, at that point, unable to handle. On the other hand, I wanted to… Read more »
Having identified my defects of character in Step 4 and admitting them to God, myself and another human being in Step 5, I am now ready to have them all removed in Step 6. But I still have work to do. God will remove them when he sees fit. I think the process goes slowly, not instantly as I once thought. Sometimes I review some of the defects that are still hanging on and I realize that although they have not been removed, they are slowly changing. I see positive things coming out of what I thought were stubborn defects… Read more »
6th Month Step 6 gives me an opportunity to reflect on the balanced character traits, as well as the unbalanced character traits I discovered while working (Studying) Step 4 with a trusted Al-Anon member. With regard to those unbalanced character traits, as I reflect, I get to determine whether or not I am entirely ready to say ¡hasta la vista! to those unhelpful ones. This Spanish saying translates to: See you. See you later Until next time. I see the word “remove” in Step 6 as a noun rather than a verb. I “co”operate with Power greater than myself (recognizing… Read more »
Step Six gives me great hope because it reminds me that removing my character defects is my Higher Power’s job, not mine. I spent many years frustrated with myself, trying to fix or hide all my flaws. If I could fix myself, I would’ve done it a long time ago! Among the many things I’m powerless over are the “outdated coping mechanisms” that are now keeping me from living fully. Thinking of my character defects as survival skills I’ve outgrown helps me to look at them without beating myself up or hiding behind lies. The work of getting better is… Read more »
To me, the Sixth Step means a very big surrender. I surrender them all to HP and HP gets to pick and choose which character “challenges” (as my Sponsor likes to call them) he wants to remove in order for me to do what he wants me to do as far as being of service to him. Most of my defects have been removed very gradually and in very small doses. I believe he works with me as he works with everything in nature. For example, I love to look at pictures of the Grand Canyon which is 70 million… Read more »
My unintentional life’s mission has often involved mudding up waters that are crystal clear with the toxins of my old thought patterns. Thanks to God and the clearness of the program itself, he reveals my defects to me. He even puts people in my life that make my defects of character obvious given my interactions with them. Yes, I want those defects removed. And sometimes I see the progress of removal. Then something happens to my thinking, and I drudge up some old pattern of thought and I’m back to my defective way of behaving. Consequently, I’m trying to focus on these three ideas… Read more »
Were entirely ready doesn’t mean that my defects of character will miraculously disappear as I first thought when I skimmed through the steps. It means that I have acknowledged and accepted that I have these defects of character and because they no longer serve me, I am ready and willing to let them go.
Step Six simply put asks of me to be completely prepared/willing to have God to take away these defects of character that I have. This requires of me also not use the «ifs» and «buts» that kept those defects justifiable. I have, over the years, accumulated defects, which in the past served me well. Those faults had become defense mechanism and sometimes survival tools when facing alcoholism at its worst. Because, I am in the program that time is gone! I must «one day at the time» try to be the best person that I could be. I have to… Read more »
Get ready to change! What does that even mean? I think the way to prepare for change is to adjust my attitude. To me the difference between Step 6 and Step 7 is that in Step 6, I find the courage to change what I can (my attitude), and then in Step 7, I will ask my Higher Power for further help. I found the P-5 version of the Blueprint for Progress to be really helpful in delving into what is going on with my attitude. At one time, I thought my attitude was something that happened to me. It… Read more »
Well I have to admit that I am actually excited to be working on my Sixth Step – “To be entirely ready to have God remove all of my defects of character.” I’m happy to almost reach the halfway point of the Steps and experience the healing they bring. Step Six makes me feel like I’m at the starting line of a track meet. “On your mark, get set, get ready (get entirely ready), and then the gun shot and GO! “Go” is my total release to the God of my understanding to take over! “On your mark,” was my… Read more »
In this program we always get what we need if we are faithful in reading our literature and staying in touch with other members. On page 177 in Courage to Change, I read “I am not perfect. The character defects I have carried around for so many years will not vanish instantly. But with faith and hope I can work my way through them one at a time, ‘One Day at a Time.'” Reading this page is so comforting to me. I have been in this program for many years and I still have days when my character defects rear… Read more »
Just finished reading The June Forum Step Six story. It’s true that becoming entirely ready happens over time as opposed to being zapped into an Al-Anon wonder woman. Maybe we’re always becoming entirely ready. Step Six reminds me of what I heard at a meeting once: Just do the next right thing. One of my favorite pages in CAL is about turning left. (See page 116 in Paths to Recovery on Step 11.) That story about turning left is like doing the next right thing. For me, sometimes I may not be sure what the next right thing is, but… Read more »
Step Six reminds me to once again focus fully on my Higher Power. I revisit Steps Two and Three before beginning Step Six, because this Step asks me to become willing to have that Higher Power remove my character defects. I am once again turning over my life and my will to the care of that Higher Power. Grounded in the awareness of, and relationship with, this Higher Power I can then contemplate becoming willing to have him remove the things in my life that trip me up, that cause me pain, that have become habits of acting on my… Read more »
In this Step, I remember being fearful of who I would become without all these defects. I could see how harmful my defects of character were and I had only known life with them. They were how I coped with situations and people. I felt naked and afraid of the vacuum that would be left if God removed them. What would I do then? Who would I be? This was uncharted territory for me and very emotional. I leaned into all the feelings. Upon confiding my inner turmoil with a friend, it was suggested to give it a try and… Read more »
I am not sure about Step Six as it is hard to let go of all my defects of character, but I do see that I can let go of the ones that I grew up with. I always felt responsible for all mistakes where I did it or someone else in the family. I am slowly realizing that I am only responsible for what I did; I am not responsible for how my younger brothers were affected by our father’s harshness and our mother’s manic depression attitudes toward perfectionism toward us or her harsh and abusive ways of raising… Read more »