In my personal life, the slogan “Let It Begin with Me” reminds me that taking care of myself is not selfish; it’s the opposite. Before I found Al‑Anon, I didn’t think about taking care of myself, because I thought someone else had to take care of me, just as I thought I was in charge of someone else’s well-being, which led to frequent disillusionment, resentment, and anger. I tried to be perfect, to do what I thought was expected of me. I put my alcoholic loved one’s needs ahead of my own without realizing I was losing my life.
Through meetings and readings, I learned that I could be the one to bring about change through my recovery. It starts with telling myself that my family can’t be well if I’m not well myself. If I’m rested, if I’m cheerful, if I’m not brooding, then I can bring a pleasant atmosphere into the house and avoid tensions. This does not mean I feel responsible for everything again, but that focusing on my recovery, on respecting my needs and setting my limits, can be beneficial not only for me but also for the whole family.
“Let It Begin with Me” is a slogan that also accompanies me in my life as an Al‑Anon member. When I don’t feel like going to meetings or when I feel discouraged because the group seems to be struggling, I remember what the fellowship did for me when I needed it. I know that someone, someday, will need to find the door open, and I will be happy to have contributed. By attending meetings, by getting well, by witnessing, by serving, I can help Al‑Anon continue to be there—and it begins with me and with each of us.
By Claire L-M., France
The Forum, November 2023
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
I cannot afford emotionally, physically, and spiritually to become complacent about the tools that were given to me in Al-Anon. Zoom has been a life line to me since Covid and other changes in my life. In person meetings are few, but the CAL is always there. Self-care is a daily reminder that I am a child of my HP, and recovery and healing begins with me. My life is my message “One Day at a Time.”
Self care is so important to me…because whereever I go there I am. I have learned to be honest with myself, and if I have to say “No” for any type of circumstances, I’m saying “Yes” to myself. I have the tools from Al-Anon to sit with the feelings of possibly guilt, people-pleasing, or not wanting to have conflict. I know I will be ok, thanks to this program, my Sponsor and my God Squad.
Great article and encouragement on so many levels. Our Tuesday Afternoon group just had a discussion about self care. Even after 20+ years in program I need reminders. Thank you
I’ve been there, and I’ve done that. I was a very long time member, but I’ve moved so many times since my wife passed. I’ve let my skillful membership turn very cold. I miss the meetings. I can’t drive anymore, and so I just know what I’ve known. Regardless, I urge everyone to participate, learn, read, and trust your Sponsor. He/She is just a human, too, who wants and needs your best.