Growing up in an alcoholic family, I seemed to have lost my sense of self. I took on everyone’s feelings and lived my life according to their moods. My father was an alcoholic, and my mother was very busy taking care of him. In turn, I took care of all my younger siblings. I learned and took on the role of caretaker. That became my profession as well.
I married my best friend, whom I met at a high school dance. He was drunk, and I should have known then. Twelve years later, he confessed he had a drinking problem. At that point, I knew nothing about the disease of alcoholism.
As a child and young adult, I was so afraid to take risks. I simply followed instructions and did what I was told. So, when I was told to go to Al-Anon, I did. At this time, my husband had just left the treatment center. I was handed a card with someone’s name on it and a phone number. I called her. My phone felt like it weighed 500 pounds in that moment. She became my first Sponsor, and my journey into recovery began.
I stayed for the miracle. I began the journey of self-discovery. My Sponsor’s favorite word to describe me was “willing.” I was willing to do anything and to learn about this disease. Through this process I discovered who I am, what I want, and what I need. I learned about my passions and my true self. I continue to live the Steps by sponsoring, going to meetings, and reaching out to people on the phone. I accept life on life’s terms. I am at peace, experiencing serenity.
My dad was almost 12 years sober when he died. My husband, whom I chose to stay with, has 33 years of sobriety, just like me, “One Day at a Time.” My life is full, rich, and serene most of the time.
By Sarah O.
The Forum, February 2026
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.