I came into Al-Anon shortly after my husband and I had been married for ten years. I had tried everything to get him to stop drinking. He didn’t, and he died of liver failure at age 45. I was angry, hurt, lonely, resentful, and confused. I was in a persistent state of anxiety because I had to raise two children alone, and we had very little money. I wondered how we would survive.
But I kept going to meetings and doing my best to live “One Day at a Time,” as I heard other members say. I am now 66. My children are now independent adults. I still go to Al-Anon meetings regularly. My anxiety never leaves for good, but I learned in meetings that getting stressed out easily is a trait I can work on to change.
I listen to other members share how they deal with feelings of stress and anxiety. I notice men and women who are living in some of the same experiences as I have. Listening to them share their stories gives me the strength to replace my anxiety with calm. It also provides me with clearer thinking and a renewed attitude. Today, my recovery remains as close as my next meeting.
By Lynn A., Connecticut
The Forum, April 2020
I just read Lynn’s story and I feel sick. My husband is 40 and was told November 4th 2020 that he has liver disease. They’re not sure how bad yet we are waiting for a liver appointment and his blood work results. The thing that scares me is that he cut down his drinking but continues to drink even after the doctors said he has to detox and bring his drinking down to zero. HE STILL DRINKS. He hides it most times. I have stopped drinking all together since that day that we found out. I am trying to be… Read more »
Helping me understand my husband at meetings
Me and my husband have been together since we were 15. we are 25 now and for the last 6 years I’ve been begging him to get help so i can help him. His family has a history of alcoholism and i remember when we were 16 he told me he never wanted to be like his dad who struggled with alcohol for 25 years. But here we are at 25 years old and hes drinking heavily. every. single. day. We have a 2 year old son and all i can think about is him watching his daddy cope that… Read more »
He’s been struggling with not being able to see our daughter in Florida
My husband lost his job in April and has drowned it in alcohol even after rehab and has done [nothing] but eat and drink and sleep since. We’re gonna lose our house, our life, about to lose medical benefits because his cobra costs us about as much as our mortgage and I have no idea how to downsize. We have too much [stuff] accumulated over the years.
Not sure where to begin but I’ve been in a relationship for 11 years with a man I love but he drinks every day after work and all day on weekends.. I finally made him leave last week! I’m heartbroken and so damaged from my enabling that I can’t clear my head!! I miss him so much and am so confused. He won’t go to rehab or meetings he feels he is unfixable… it just breaks my heart!
Together for 12 yrs, married for 10 – 2 children and complete and utter lack of self-esteem. Ready to walk away from the disappointment and lack of seeing how his over-indulgences are affecting us. Seems to not care or maybe wants to make it easier for me to leave??? I have anxiety like no other every time I see him walk thru the door with any # of beer…as it will end up all gone in the end. Same with our love for one another…I feel like it’s gone.
Al-Anon Family Groups offer a large list of electronic meetings on a variety of platforms, including email, Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp, and phone. In addition, the meetings are available at all hours of the day, and some even 24 hours a day. Please visit our Electronic Meetings page to access the different options.
How do I find the electronic meetings?
Al-Anon can be a real life line. There are many electronic meetings during the COVID-19 pandemic. You can attend some and just listen if you don’t want to share. Please keep coming back.
I am a first time visitor…. I’ve been married for almost 14 years the 29th is my anniversary. My husband isn’t mean or physical at all. He just drinks until he passes out mostly on weekends but drinks non stop never the less. I left 3 weeks ago but still keep close contact. I have two boys 13 & 9. I’m at my last straw not sure what to do or if what I’m doing is the right thing… I love him and I know nothing I do to try making him quit will work he has to want it… Read more »
My husband is an alcoholic, he’s verbally abusive, he throws things and slams doors. He feels he has the right.
I appreciate the experience, strength and hope in this share. While the problem drinker in my life is sober, he is not in a recovery program. This can be challenging, but with the help of this program, I do not have to feel like I’m suffering. I have choices.
I came into Al-Anon when I was married for 22 years. My husband finally got sober but has no program. That can make things difficult.