I thought Al‑Anon was my ticket to fix my daughter. But in return, it saved me from myself. I have found friendship, unconditional love, hope and serenity. I realize how alcoholism affected my life growing up, and I now see it in my grown children. I can’t change the past. But I am setting an example for a better way of living.
Today, I have a better life free from drama and emotional stuff that wasn’t mine to carry. I can laugh, love and be gentle and honest with myself. Sometimes I struggle, but I have tools. I know I can’t do it alone, and I’m always welcome. But the best part is that I don’t need to try to fix everyone anymore.
By Roxanne R., Ontario, Canada
The Forum, February 2018
My daughter has an alcohol problem been going on for 20 years at least. I can honestly say it has broken my heart I don’t know which way to turn. I know in my heart I am not helping the situation by enabling her but I really think I am helping. Deep down I know I’m not.
My body feels as if it is shock all the time,it has helped reading what others are going through I feel as if I am going mad with the worry of it. It is on my mind night and day.
I’m concerned about my 25 year old son. He lived with his brother, who’s 29, but just recently has moved to Thailand. He drinks too, just not as much. My younger son manages a restaurant and just broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years. She’s a beautiful girl…and he’s doing her a favor. He started dating another alcoholic and she’s living w/him now. I needed to get hold of him so I can use his brother’s car while he’s gone. He never answers his phone or any messages. The only way I can reach him is if I call… Read more »
Reading this page has been so helpful. As a mom with, and I am finally admitting to, an alcoholic son. Your stories are so similar to my own. I am very close to my son and admittedly probably an enabler. We don’t live in the same state but he calls me often and drunk. Recently he came for a visit and well when you do not see someone in a while you notice the differences. He poured a drink in the morning and when I asked his response “it’s only four shots”. When I confront the issue he says he… Read more »
I don’t want to leave a problem. I want to leave an answer
I have a 22 year old son who has been drinking for over a year now. He also has Asperger. He lived with my husband and I till he was 18 then he moved in with his dad. We did spoil him way too much, I guess because of the Asperger. I get calls about once every week or so from his dad saying he’s drunk again and I go over to see what I can do. He falls down a lot when he drinks, he’s 6 ft tall and only about 145 lbs. We worry he will hurt himself… Read more »
I’ve been dealing with my alcoholic son for a long long time. My grandfather was an alcoholic that committed suicide in a drunken stupor. Both of my brothers are alcoholics and only one has been to treatment. Last I heard he was still sober but we have no relationship. I witnessed the destruction alcoholism has caused and I decided to just swear off alcohol. It’s been decades. I never really cared for alcohol. Now my youngest son, aged 33 3/4, is an alcoholic. He drinks until he blacks out. He puts food in the oven but then walks away and… Read more »
I have a 32 year old foster daughter she is on drugs bad. She only contacts me when she needs money minutes on her phone. Any other time I’m mean or too controlling she says she don’t have a problem. Reading all these comments has really help me. Thank you
I am not myself and feel no joy in my life because of my constant worry about my daughter. She is 41 years old and has been drinking heavy for the past 20 years plus. I have raised my grandson/her son as I felt he needed my care. I have tried tough love. Actually I have tried everything. I am at my wits end and don’t know what to do anymore. I have a wonderful husband of 35 years, he is not her birth father but loves her as his own. He has been by my side through this but… Read more »
My 28 year old daughter has a drinking problem that has gotten worse over the last 4 years or so. On April 30th she was arrested for DUI. She didn’t have to post bail, they let her go into the custody of her husband who picked her up from the police station. Thank God she didn’t hurt herself or anybody else. She was an emotional wreck the first week after the arrest, swearing off alcohol forever…. She has lost at least 3 jobs because of her drinking, yet, she always tells me and my husband that it’s cut backs etc…The… Read more »
I fear that my 20 yr old daughter is an alcoholic. She has smoked pot heavily and been on anti depressants for a couple of years. She suffers from OCD/anxiety/moderate depression and easily blames me for driving her crazy. My husband is a functioning alcoholic and the two of them now drink together. They both get drunk to point of passing out and both apologize profusely the next day and promise that was the last time. I am at my wits end and have no idea how to get through this. My daughter is failing out of a university that… Read more »
Thank you for sharing this, and to everyone else that has posted their stories with their alcoholic children. I’m new to this, am going to attend my first Al-Anon in person meeting today, and I am terrified. My life is out of control with the constant worrying over my son and his alcoholism. In my head I know this is a family disease, my father died from the effects of alcoholism over 9 years ago. My ex husband died from the same thing almost 20 years ago. I’m in my mid-50s and raised my only child, my son, pretty much… Read more »
I’ve been trying to fix everyone while neglecting me. I am caring for an aunt with dementia and my son smokes too much marijuana. He isn’t supposed to because he gets psychotic when he does. He left home with a backpack on his back yesterday and his skateboard. I haven’t been able to sleep since. I am really concerned about his well being. He is on the street with no phone, no money and no guidance. I wish I had a crystal ball to see answers. I keep blaming myself for his actions. I feel there is no hope.
My son is in the Air Force and when he came to visit me a few weeks ago he wound up in the hospital with seizures and went through severe withdrawals for a week . He got out and started drinking, secretly, and won’t even talk to me about it . I’m terrified. I had no clue he was an alcoholic
My son is out of state, I just got the call, god I have been down this road. He was arrested for DUI, causing great bodily harm, while on a revoked license. I don’t have any more money to throw at this and frankly I wouldn’t do it even if I had the money. What is the point? I am looking for a local chapter to talk to someone so I don’t feel so alone. I feel better even typing this. The latest event just happened this weekend.
I am struggling with my 50 year old daughter who is a alcoholic going through a nasty divorce.
I have been dealing with an adult alcoholic daughter, for many years. The past few years has gotten worse, as she is a single 50yr old. She nearly died last week. Hours after she was released from hospital, she was drinking.
wow, that second paragraph is powerful. it really hits home, i was always the one fixing or trying to fix everyone around me, except ME!