Welcome to First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.
Today we’re going to ask Al-Anon members if they ever thought the drinking would stop if the drinker really loved them.
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I left my ex in March 2020 before we went into full lockdown days later. It was an extremely stressful time. My kids live with me full time, we share the youngest together, who is two but he’s always had a close bond with my older two as well. He’s a great dad when he’s present. He’s an alcoholic. So alcohol rules his life. Day in and out. He ruins holidays, birthdays, everything you name it. He never realizes how wasted he gets, until the next day. However it doesn’t ever stop him. I left him because he wouldn’t stop… Read more »
My boyfriend gets in these moods where he doesn’t want to answer any of my questions, completely detached from any intimacy, extremely defensive, turns everything around on me, lies about drinking, defends why he should be able to drink, and overall not the man I fell in love with. This addiction is completely taking over the relationship and I don’t know if I want to go another year of this. I’m not even sure I have the emotional capacity to. This disease will completely change you as a person if you are a loved one of someone with addiction. The… Read more »
A man is suppose to take responsibility of his actions for drinking…if he doesn’t he is going to ruin your childrens life and yours and everything around him ….jobs finacial issues….relationships….everything….run for the hills if they dont get help…thats selfish pride….
He’s trying to quit drinking. Or drink less. He’s been kinda taking it out on me. I recently lost my job over stupid stuff but found one 3 weeks later. He’s not working cuz of a back issue. He wants to go back to work. But his company won’t let him. They are paying full wages. He’s embarrassed, ashamed of himself. constantly asking me why I’m with him. I believe in him. I believe he can cut back. But the withdrawals are crazy. He’s not himself. He also takes care of his mom. He knows he’s an alcoholic. Honestly I… Read more »
Hi everyone I’ve been doing a lot of research online about alcohol and how it affects someone’s mind and I’ve been doing this research because I’ve been in a relationship with one and it’s really taking a toll on me… as I write these words I’m crying because I’m so fed up and I’m so hurt and I feel betrayed. I express myself to my partner and it’s like he doesn’t get it, it’s like he’s not there. He never wants to be intimate with me and I’m not an ugly girl. I’m very attractive a lot of men find… Read more »
I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. I am not a drinker. We both have a 4 year old together. He always drank, he’s 43 I’m 34 .. it was of and on relationship. He would drink his beer from night to bed. Wake up in am have more beer to night time. No water. Nothing else. Just beer he drinks. I have asked him to quit. He did quit for almost 3 years. But then he started again. We fight all the time. He calls me names. Dumb. I did this. He blames me on everything. He says… Read more »
I’m fed up it’s nothing but lies and circles. I feel stuck.
I was with the same guy for 7 years. He is the nicest guy, kind and generous. He is an alcoholic. When he drinks it’s so bad I have to leave and go back to my home. We were supposed to move in but on Thanksgiving he got drunk, kicked me out, so I finally broke up with him. It’s not easy as I love him and we love to travel and hike. But I can’t do the roller coaster any more it’s painful to leave him but he will never get help. He knows he has a problem but… Read more »
I was with my boyfriend nearly 6 years, he chose Alcohol and going out and having a good time, even though drinking had caused him to lose his license, jobs, living accommodation he got thrown out of. But he still didn’t think he had a problem. I loved this man very much, and finally he said to me we were over and he would find someone that would accept his drinking, even said he was hurting about us, but he still chooses to drink and have good time. I will never understand how they can do this to you.
Why can’t these men show love
If they truly loved you, if they truly cared, then they’d stop. This goes for any addiction, and any problem in a relationship that’s serious. It’s not your fault they’ve developed a dependance, that’s their doing. No one forced them to drink. They chose to drink, they can choose to stop and or at least drink in moderation. Most just don’t want to though, and many never will. They’ll keep chasing that high even if it means their death, and the broken hearts of everyone they know. Source: was raised in a family of alcoholics, and married one. They didn’t… Read more »
Last night, I went over to my boyfriend’s and he had his daughter over (it was his turn to babysit and she’s 4). We decided to get some burgers and have a couple drinks. Mind you, I told him we cannot drink ‘all crazy’ when his daughter is there because we both need to be alert and whatnot, in case of emergencies. I repeatedly said this several times throughout the night to get it into his thick head… There were about a couple drinks left in the fridge and he kept saying ‘this is my last one, this is my… Read more »
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, I was 17 and he was 18 when we got together. I know this seems young for these kind of problems but he really does have a problem with addiction, money and general will power. He seems to have inherited these traits from his alcoholic father who had to flee the country due to legal issues and debt. His mother left his father when he was 8 due to him being an abusive alcoholic- my boyfriend has never abused me but I fear he’s manipulated me in ways. For… Read more »
I’ve been with him over a year. Things were good at first, other than he smoked pot too often. I didn’t notice the drinking problem until about half way through when I would see him drinking in the morning. Still, I was blinded by my love for him, and I didn’t think anything of it. I had been surrounded by alcoholics my entire life, and somehow I chose not to see it in him. About six months ago is when I really saw how serious it was. He would get drunk in the morning and pass out in the afternoon.… Read more »
Atm things are getting worse! Probably I should leave my man cause he have affair when drunk not knowing what he did! And he keeps doing it! I keep forgiving looking like a fool! Now I’m really suffering cause I’m like a tool😭…
I use to think so but not now.
how do i go on after ive sent my bf to rehab n were done
My husband chooses drinking over me and his kids almost every day after work. He’ll drink before he returns home from work, and then he’ll consume some more drinks here at home. That one drink has turned into a whole six pack and then some. I have left my husband because of this, and then he promises me that he’s not going to drink even a sip ever again. Here we are three months back into living together and he’s drank every day for the past 2 months. It hurts and he knows how much his drinking hurts me. I’ve… Read more »
Na
When I met my husband, he drank. Didn’t seem like a big deal or maybe I just looked past it. It was kinda love at first sight. I knew very quickly that he was special. We moved in together after 4 months. Got married after a year. It was the big wedding I always wanted. We were so happy for the first three years. He was my best friend. Then, he totaled his vehicle drinking & driving. He wasn’t hurt but ran from the vehicle. He was thrown in jail, had an anklet on for a year after he was… Read more »