Welcome back! Did something from Part One (published in the March 2026 issue of The Forum) resonate with you? Perhaps it was learning what the roles of Board of Trustees and Executive Committee members entail, or maybe you’re curious about who finds value in serving in these positions.
We were curious too. What follows is the result of these conversations.
What brought you to Al‑Anon?
Board of Trustees Member: I first heard of Al‑Anon because my sister‑in‑law suggested it, but I didn’t think it was for me—I thought it was for people who worked too hard. Three years later, I was experiencing severe depression and wanted to end my life. A new group had just opened, and I remember it clearly because it’s my anniversary this week. I had been contemplating ending my life for days and hadn’t showered in weeks. I didn’t think anyone would notice me, but the meeting chairperson welcomed me and hugged me—I immediately felt like she was family. At first, I thought I didn’t belong and wondered how I could help these women. I came in as a single dad with three kids, and these women helped me. I continue to grow and be nourished here. It took a couple of years to truly accept that I belonged.
Executive Committee Member: I first came to Al‑Anon because I was visiting my son at a treatment center, and if I wanted to see him, I had to go to that meeting. I didn’t know it was Al‑Anon at the time. They suggested I keep going when I got home, so I went to three more meetings, thinking, “Nope, I don’t have a problem. He does.”
Fast forward three or four years—in hindsight, I realized that I was powerless over alcohol, but I didn’t see that my own life was unmanageable. I thought his life was unmanageable. Later, when another family member faced a similar situation, I saw that my life was unmanageable. That sense of powerlessness and helplessness, knowing my life was out of control, is what brought me here.
At some point, I felt like a fraud. I wasn’t here because of my stepson, my son, my husband, or my parents. I’ve been the way I’ve been forever. I didn’t understand it because there was no active alcoholism in my life growing up—not even much alcohol. But when I read in How Al‑Anon Works (B-32) that alcoholism can skip a generation, I thought about my grandparents and knew I belonged.
What would you tell your newcomer self?
Board of Trustees Member: “Keep Coming Back.” When I first heard this, I thought, “They loved me.” I didn’t understand what it meant, but by coming back I started working the Steps and getting better. As an educated man, I didn’t think I needed more education, but this gave me the willingness to accept the program and all its beauty. It was here and now—something I could apply in my life. It gave me the opportunity to keep entering these rooms full of wisdom.
Executive Committee Member: I think the most important thing is “Keep Coming Back.” I probably heard it before, but now I really believe it—along with “More will be revealed.” Everybody gets here for a reason, and you “Keep Coming Back” until you figure out your reason. Something brought you here. There’s hope here. There’s hope.
What does a day in your shoes look like?
Board of Trustees Member: It depends on the day. For example, today is about my service commitment—checking email and studying updates on decisions and motions that have been approved. If a motion is important, I do my homework and prepare. When it’s time for us to meet, I receive a lot of information to review, which can take hours. Before the meetings begin, I relax by connecting with my fellows. On the first day of meetings, I start at five in the morning by walking, meditating, and placing myself in God’s care. Then I get ready, eat breakfast, and begin the day. Some days are long and exhausting, but thanks to my Higher Power, I get a second wind and keep going. The week after meetings, I try to unwind.
When not in meetings, balance starts with taking the grandkids to school. Then I meditate—sometimes with my wife—thinking of it as adding fuel to my tank. Mid-afternoon, I start to tinker; I can’t sit still, so I do things around the house. I may sit outside under our tree, eat some fruit, and watch nature—nature has its own language. When the grandkids come home, I take a break to greet them, then check my email to make sure I haven’t missed anything. I feel very blessed by the life I have today and the connection I have with my children, especially my daughter, whom some say is like a clone of me.
Executive Committee Member: I’d love to say I start the day very spiritually, and I used to— by attending an online morning meditation group. But after shoulder surgery and poor sleep, I haven’t been consistent. If I didn’t sleep well, I wouldn’t get up for that. I do try to start with something—a thought or a reading—even if I’m not consistent.
I really have to structure my days to balance assignments, responsibilities, personal time, and family time. My calendar is always beside me. For example, today is a workout, a meeting with you, my home group, and another Trustee meeting. Tomorrow, an International Coordination Committee (ICC) meeting. I try to block time for recreation and work, but I don’t have a typical day. Often, I’m preparing for meetings because this year I’m on several committees. Last week was full of committee meetings, but I balanced that with family—like going to the Santa Parade and watching my granddaughter play soccer.
Ideally, I’d attend two to three in-person meetings, but I’ve also integrated the Al-Anon Family Groups Mobile App. I do end my day spiritually—sometimes just a simple “goodnight.”
Has there been a conversation that has kept you up at night?
Board of Trustees Member: It’s been years since anything kept me up at night or had me searching for a solution. Applying the Serenity Prayer is universal in my life. I also assume responsibility in my leadership role—it doesn’t take away my sleep, but it gives me the willingness to meditate regularly. Sometimes decisions have to be made, and I do my part: study, take notes, prepare. I don’t lose sleep because I know that if I do my homework, the outcome isn’t mine—it’s aligned with my Higher Power’s will.
Executive Committee Member: With my characteristic of perfectionism, yes—many times I’ve had those “could have, would have, should have” thoughts. That’s not just in service, but in life. In service, I still have those experiences, though they’re less intense and don’t last as long. The inner critic is quieter now.
Service has given me collateral benefits—I’m more confident because I’m experiencing and handling more things. I remind myself, “I can do hard things.” I also use “principles above personalities.” I ask: am I really in conflict with the person or with the topic? Keeping it about principles helps. Even in conversation, I avoid using names to keep things neutral—no judgment, positive or negative. We all have personalities, but I try to stay focused on principles.
What lessons have you learned about yourself as you’ve continued to uncover deeper layers of your recovery?
Board of Trustees Member: For me, it’s not so much learning as accepting. Acceptance is very important. When I look at the negative aspect of a defect, only by accepting it can I see the exact nature of my wrong and start to turn it over—again and again. Every time it shows up, I look at it through the Tenth Step. For me, it’s pride—the umbrella defect. Pride came from survival, and if I don’t stay on top of it daily, it shows up with arms like insecurity or jealousy. That’s when looking at childhood wounds becomes very important.
Executive Committee Member: The one thing that comes to mind—and it encompasses a few things—is that I don’t know everything. I’m not supposed to know everything. And when I think I know something, that’s probably when I should ask for help. For me, that ties to perfectionism—the idea that I should somehow just know things. But how could I know if nobody ever told me? Yet, I thought I should.
What is your favorite piece of Conference Approved Literature (CAL)?
Board of Trustees Member: I feel like all of our literature is inspired by a strong spirit—they come with precise words. One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon (B-6) (ODAT) was a strong pillar of my recovery, a foundation at the beginning. I’ve since read all the CAL, but when I read From Survival to Recovery (B-21), it became the reason my feet were planted in Al‑Anon. The last chapter, describing the nature of our wounds and the many facets of this disease of alcoholism, was instrumental. It told me: this is who I am, and this is why I am here.
Executive Committee Member: For me, How Al‑Anon Works (B-32) is key. There are so many one-liners in there—I don’t know if I quote them properly, but my heart does. I remember reading it on the beach, and six months later reading it again, thinking, “I’ve never read this before.” But then I found sand between the pages, so I knew I had. It’s so basic, so simple, and yet so comprehensive.
How do you approach/use the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual (P-24/27)?
Board of Trustees Member: The Service Manual is the strongest spiritual foundation we have. I love the Service Manual in its spirit. I approach it with the lens of “what is the spiritual principle” behind what is written and its purpose. I use it to interpret the spirit behind our principles.
Executive Committee Member: When I first came to Al‑Anon, the Service Manual felt totally foreign—I didn’t understand its purpose. Over time, I’ve learned how valuable it is. Our group uses “Al‑Anon and Alateen Groups at Work,” which is part of the Service Manual. When discussing policy or procedure, I don’t just give answers and page numbers—I ask, “What section would that be in?” to encourage exploration. When you search, you’re more likely to hold on to that information. For me, diving into the Service Manual when I have a question is when I really learn.
I reference the “Concept Nine” portion of the “Al‑Anon’s Twelve Concepts of Service” section of the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual and Bill W.’s essay on leadership quite a lot. I also pay attention to details like the lines in the margins and why changes happen—only after a World Service Conference decision. Something I didn’t know for a long time is that “Al‑Anon and Alateen Groups at Work” is edited by the WSO Staff. You don’t know what you don’t know. How Al‑Anon Works feels like my personal recovery, and the Service Manual is my recovery in service—it’s the triangle.
I remember our group didn’t use “Groups at Work” until I saw it at a meeting in Saskatchewan. It was all around the table, and I felt at home. When I brought that back to my meeting, I said, “They’re not that expensive—why don’t we use this?” That physical presence added to my sense of belonging. I show members that I use the Service Manual, keep it available at meetings, and share where to find it—even on the Mobile App. I often open it on my phone to use and demonstrate access. For me, Al‑Anon is Al‑Anon—it’s not a rule book, and yet it is. I tab references, highlight, underline, and cross-reference.
What character defects still show up in service?
Board of Trustees Member: For me, pride is my umbrella defect. Pride came from survival, and if I don’t stay on top of it daily, it shows up with layers like insecurity or jealousy. That’s when looking at childhood wounds becomes very important for me.
Executive Committee Member: For me, that ties back to perfectionism—the belief that I should just know things. But how could I know if nobody ever told me? I get to practice and see how uncomfortable that is. Underneath the perfectionism is low self-esteem. Step work helped me uncover that. Asking for help from my Higher Power, journaling, talking to my Sponsor, and reading all help me understand that principle I’ve always known intellectually: just because I make mistakes doesn’t mean I am a mistake. Al‑Anon has helped me believe that, though sometimes only fleetingly. Lately, I’ve been phrasing it this way: my superpower is that I’m human—and humans aren’t perfect. They’re not meant to be.
What three words would you use to describe your recovery?
Board of Trustees Member: Persistence, consistency, and discipline—these are things I apply and share regularly, not only in the program but in life. They help me succeed in all areas. Persistence is to keep coming back. Consistency is doing this with regularity. Discipline is applying the principles of the program in all our affairs.
Executive Committee Member: The first word is hope—I know it because I get emotional about it. My husband often calls us “the hope people.” So, three words? Hope, passion, and maybe inclusiveness, or “you’re not alone.” When I talk about Al‑Anon, I notice my hands move, my speech speeds up, sometimes I talk louder—that’s passion. It’s because of the miracles that have happened in my life, the transformation within me and in my relationships. I’m passionate about sharing that, even though I can’t force it on anyone, not even family members who haven’t found the doors yet. I just want it to be available if they choose to try.
Thank you for being a part of these conversations with us. I hope you found it helpful to hear that these same members still struggle with the same character defects we all do and that Board or Executive Committee service isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being willing. Or maybe you recognized yourself in their stories of how they got here. I know I did.
What stayed with me was that these members showed up anyway. They showed up even when they thought they were not qualified or that their character defects may get in the way, the same thoughts that tell us we’re not ready to sponsor someone or share at a meeting or try something new. They showed up.
The other thing I noticed was that they spoke about how serving at this level deepened their recovery in unexpected ways. It wasn’t just about giving back, it was about growing in ways they couldn’t have anticipated: about how service provided practice in looking at things through different points of view, about learning new things about themselves, about practicing principles in new contexts, and about discovering capabilities they didn’t know they had.
What about you? Maybe you’ve been in Al-Anon for a while and you’re wondering what’s next in your service journey. Maybe you have skills: financial expertise, organizational experience, or a knack for seeing the big picture that could serve Al-Anon. Maybe you’ve never considered service at the Board level because you assumed it wasn’t for members like you. It is for members like you. It’s for members who are still learning, still growing, and still working their program “One Day at a Time.” Al-Anon needs your experience, perspective, and willingness to serve.
These conversations reminded me that Al-Anon service, at every level, is simply members helping members. These members were once newcomers, open and uncertain, who decided to “Keep Coming Back.” They kept saying “yes” when opportunities arose, and they trusted the process, even when they weren’t sure they were ready.
I encourage you to pull up a chair at your next business meeting, ask questions, and get curious about service beyond your home group. One of our members said that their only responsibility was applying. The rest is up to our Higher Power, even if there is only one person being considered for that position. The path to these positions isn’t mysterious; it is just one foot in front of the other, one “yes” at a time. You might discover, just as these two members did, that you’re more capable than you ever imagined.
By Elizabeth M-R., Magazine Editor
March 2026
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“Inside Al-Anon Family Groups” presents news, policy, and commentary from volunteers, staff and readers sharing experience through service. Please feel free to reprint these articles on your service structure website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.