Why Did You Come & Why Did You Stay
Please share your experiences by commenting on the topic below. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
This month we’re asking you to share why you came to Al‑Anon and why you keep coming back.
I came to Al-Anon because I have learned how my mom and dad’s drinking is affecting my romantic relationships and I want to learn more on how to take care of me.
I came into Al-Anon my ex best friend and soulmate was an alcoholic. It was very painful. Through Al-Anon I had learned how to be strong and to live my life without letting his disease affect me.
Hi. I really need this but I would just like to ease my way in before I start commenting. Thank you.
HOPE is powerful and it was a concept that I couldn’t relate to. In desperation and fear, I walked into my first spiritual meeting and that was almost twenty years ago and I haven’t stopped since then. It took about four years of spiritual guidance from Program literature, member shares and Sponsor influence until my resistance to even consider feeling hopeful about my future was possible. The transformation started gradually once I witnessed how other group members began to heal spiritually in addition to having my feelings, thoughts and behavior validated by my group members. For YEARS I felt remorse… Read more »
I came to Al-Anon in May 2005 because I wanted to know how to get my husband to stop drinking alcohol. I was full of anger and resentment that he simply would not do what I knew was best! I thought alcoholism was a moral weakness, and it showed a lack of willpower and poor character. I tried giving him ultimatums, going to marriage counseling and threatened to leave him if he did not stop. Eventually, I had to take a break or I was going to say or do something I could never take back. I learned quickly that… Read more »
I came because I help people everyday in my profession and come home to a house full of lies and chaos. I came because I don’t feel like me anymore. I came because I have not been living a true life, as the alcoholism and addiction in those closest to me has ruled every day of my life for many years. I came because I have isolated myself for thousands of days, trying to manage the unmanageable on my own. I came because I am desperate for freedom in my heart. I have only been to one meeting so far,… Read more »
I came because I was raised in a home with alcoholic mother and now have a son wrestling with this disease. Years ago, with my mother, we didn’t know how to handle the disease. Al-Anon has saved me by helping me to understand the disease and bring me to sanity. Three years into my recovery (and my son’s recovery) I am leading meetings and helping others! Al-Anon is my family. We understand each other and support each other.
I came because I needed to feel better. I also needed to find a way to get my husband sober. I stayed for me. I stayed because I found a second family. I stayed because I felt better. Here it is 37 years later and I’m still here and I am very grateful for Al-Anon.
I came because I am becoming so mentally and emotionally tired and worn down from dealing with my husband’s behavior. He is an alcoholic and makes me miserable at times and can be so sweet and thoughtful at other times. It is like he keeps my emotions on a rollercoaster. I recently started seeing a therapist who recommended Al-Anon. Once I got on this website and have read other comments and can express my feelings and feel like there is someone out there who can relate to me and me to them, I wanted to stay. I want to find… Read more »
I have been with now husband for ten years and married for a year. It wasn’t until this past year that I realized how naive I had been over the years with his disease. I confronted him multiple times for the years but he made me feel like I was crazy. He not only struggles with alcohol, but also drugs. He recently overdosed and luckily I was there and able to perform CPR and call 911. He has been home from rehab for almost two months and recently slipped and had two beers and tried to cover it up, but… Read more »
Many years ago I came through the Al-Anon doors after way too many psychologists. My husband was admitted to a recovery center and the Recovery Center introduced us (me and our children) to Al-Anon. But it wasn’t until he left the recovery center early and came back home and started to do some inappropriate behavior, that I decided that I needed to get some help. At first, I thought the people at my first meeting would give me a recipe or pill to make everything better. But, I kept coming back to meetings because it was the only thing that… Read more »
I came because I am tired of being angry and feeling hopeless and victim of this disease. I want to be able to let go and feel like it will be ok and be able to have better relationships with people myself. I want to have a better positive outlook on my life and. Not live in fear of this disease.
My decision to try Al-Anon was made after dealing with my husband’s over twenty year struggle with this disease. I have a great deal of sadness for both of us and our children. I also have a feelings of helplessness and trying to accept t I have no control over his drinking. He has other medical problems which make alcoholism an extremely dangerous adversary. We have been together 40 years and the appearance of this situation blindsided me. I have suffered with him in ways that he cannot understand. Loving someone with all your heart makes you want to save… Read more »
I came when I heard of Al-Anon. Someone suggested it, I respected their opinion and I went to a meeting. At first I was lost, afraid to share, didn’t understand how they could put personal information with themselves out to a group of strangers. I learned what I consider to be a beautiful thing. We aren’t strangers. We are a family of individuals who share our experience, strength, and hope, and by doing so we help ourselves and those in the room who choose to take something.
I originally came to Al-Anon because of my son-in-law & his vehement denials of alcoholism. I started out tackling that issue, then realized I had a more pervasive alcoholic problem with my brothers. The longer I attended meetings, which is 10 years next April, I discovered alcoholic behaviors going back to my paternal grandfather. The disease pervaded 3 generations. As I progressed through the program, I have made great strides within the Al-Anon program & the conference approved books, the 4th step workbook & Reaching for Personal Freedom workbook. What a wonderful way to get the help, for a small… Read more »
I came to Al-Anon on the suggestion of my Mom when my physical health came to a grinding halt. I was stuck in bed for a week. My husband’s behaviour was so unpredictable and illogical, that I was going crazy! I knew I couldn’t change him and I didn’t like the person I had become. I heard the closing at the meeting where it said, “although you might not like all of us, you’ll love us in a very special way, just like we already love you!” The feeling I felt when I heard this, is what kept me coming… Read more »
I came to Al-Anon because I felt that I was out of control. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. It was suggested to me by a friend. I kept coming back because I really felt a sense of relief after my first meeting.
I forgot to tell you why I keep coming back, I have been a Active member for six years. I keep coming back because it has helped me figure out who I am and what my character defects are and how to work on them and every day my life is like a puzzle that I keep working on; I keep finding more missing pieces that explain why I felt so much more pain and sadness from being raised in alcoholism. There are days I wish I could bottle up the Al-Anon group and bring it home with me.
I was raised in a alcoholic home but that wasn’t what brought me to Al-Anon, I thought if i just got out of my parents house and got married things would be good, I didn’t know the affects it caused me to have. It wasn’t until 35 years into my marriage when it became apparent to me that my husband is an alcoholic, that’s when i came into Al-Anon. I was in such pain not only dealing with the pain I felt after finding out that my husband was a alcoholic, now I had to deal with the pain I… Read more »
I came to Al-Anon because my husband had gone to AA and he suggested that I go and I did what he said. I stayed because I had to figure out what you wanted from me. I have since learned that all you wanted was to love me unconditionally. I keep coming back because I want to keep getting what I am not getting peace & love and I want to give back.