Why did we come to Al-Anon?

My husband is an alcoholic. He has always liked drinking but over the years it has got worse. He used to only drink one night, now every night he drinks to oblivion. He started drinking at 5pm, then 4pm & 1.30. I just saw him open a bottle at 11.30am I’ve tried to discuss this but he’s not interested. I’m at my wits end. He’s not violent but can be sarcastic when he’s been drinking.

This is my first time on this site and I would like to believe a higher power led me to my first step (meeting coming up tomorrow) but I’m struggling between the thought that the drinking will stop and or get better with my husband and the need to control the outcome. I feel exhausted, frustrated, and I’m angry at myself for not having that control to stop it. I need some help and thankfully even though I’m [very] scared to go to the meeting tomorrow I am going to take this first step towards healing and becoming a better… Read more »

I’ve been told by so many people that I need to check into Al-Anon. I’ve been resistant because I was angry that I, ME, the one without the addiction, would be required to do 12 Steps. Why should I have to “be punished”? Well, I am finally open to the idea. So here I am, trying to figure out where to start, which meeting to go to. I am just going to pick one and go. Baby steps… My husband and I have been married 8 years this month. Dated 4 years before that. He’s such a good person. A… Read more »

I have been married for 13 years and dated my husband for 3 years before marriage. In the beginning he drank occasionally but always to excess. He was not mean then and was usually fun. He’s a functioning alcoholic. His drinking progressed over the years until he no longer has a job and has not worked for several years. I have never thought I could make him quit or get better in anyway. I went through therapy many years ago for myself before I met my h husband and I understand I can only work on and be in charge… Read more »

I have been wanting to go to Al-Anon for a long time now. My problem is that my husband usually starts drinking the minute he gets home from work (he hides vodka in garage and drinks it in garage before coming in and thinks I do not know but I do) and he is usually very drunk by 6:30 pm. I have 3 small children and I feel they will not be safe in the home with him drunk. He is not physically abusive but he has been short tempered with them when drunk, and I am always there to… Read more »

I’ve never been to an Al-Anon meeting but I think it might help me. I feel very alone. My son is addicted to drinking and smoking pot. They have a new baby 3 months old and he kicked his girlfriend out with the baby after drinking a bottle. She sat in her car for hours and said she might move out. She smelled like pot last week when I picked her up. My son is 30 and this has been going on to a certain degree for 10 yrs. He is excluding me from his life and saying mean, horrible… Read more »

Hi. My name is Carol and I have been a very grateful and long time member of Al-Anon. I came to Al-Anon to find out how to get my husband, at the time, sober. I wanted desperately to save my marriage and would have done anything to save it. They told me not to make any major decisions in my life for 1 year, that my thinking would change. After 10 months in the program I knew I had to save myself. I kept asking when would I know was the right time to take action. They kept telling me,… Read more »

My fiance and I have been together seven years. He’s an alcoholic and went into rehab a few days ago. The place he went to does family counseling and Al-Anon stuff, but I’m really not interested in this. I don’t want to go to counseling and I don’t want to sit through their “educational classes”. I’m a psychology student and know quite a bit about addiction.

So, how bad is it that I don’t want to do this? I don’t want to be the un-supportive partner, but I seriously just get angry thinking about having to do this stuff.

I recognized my sickness as being codependent. I know it’s time to let the alcoholic do what he’s going to, whether he hits bottom and gets help or not. It’s not my burden to carry anymore.

I suffer from anxiety attacks, I don’t sleep, and I feel sick to my stomach daily. I am stressing my heart, shortening my life, and limiting my quality of life. My kids deserve better.

Al-Anon is the way that I can heal and also help others heal.

My daughter is a 30 year old addict. I love her very much, but her addiction controls our lives. It might be simple to cut her off, but the twist to all this is she has 3 beautiful children, my grandchildren; a 6 year old daugher and twin 19 month old boys, and she lives with me. There are also two different fathers involved, neither of which would be someone who I would want to raise my grandchildren. She lies, she steals money from me, her money “disappears”. I am depressed, and find myself hating to come home from work… Read more »

This has all been very interesting and helpful. I don’t feel very safe or anonymous attending an Al-Anon meeting in my small community because the community is small and I am fairly well known. I would be interested to know what some long-timers have to say about that. I have really enjoyed reading the posts and would certaining attend a meeting if I could feel “safe” about my privacy. My story is I have been married for 6 months to a man who I have recently found out is an alcoholic. I am 46 and he is 50. We did… Read more »

I was married to an alcoholic for 27 years. The mental abuse felt physical. He was what they call a functioning alcoholic, a good provider–material wise. Now I’m married again for four years. Why didn’t I see this, or didn’t I want to see this? My husband is a drug addict and alcoholic. He has been off drugs about 60 days and just entered a 60-day, in-house program through the Veterans Hospital. The problem is I have no faith he will quit drinking. Of course, he says he will. You know the whole spiel, but I have a good brain.… Read more »

I am in a relationship with a wonderful caring man who is addicted to meth. He relapses every couple of months for a night. I feel like I live in a box. I rush home from work always wondering will this be the day. I believe he does a pinch occasionally. I can see he is not acting as usual. He gets mad when I talk about it. I tell him this is not my addiction, it is yours. I have been through this before. I am an addict attracter. I know it is my choice. Both of my ex… Read more »

I am feeling like this may help me. I have been with my husband for 14 years, and drinking has always been in the picture. I never really found it to be a problem until more recently, when his rages or behaviors have impacted me. However, looking back, it has always been a problem, just something I never really faced. Recently I asked for a separation due to his drinking. Actually, I put it out there as “stop drinking or we are through.” I know I gave an ultimatum and hoped he would choose to get help, but he took… Read more »

Well, I came to Al-Anon Adult Children meetings because I was going to a therapist for 16 years. She finally convinced me to go buy a book. I bought it and read it. Man! I thought they wrote a story and changed my name to theirs. Wow. What an awakening. Before going to a therapist and Al-Anon I tried to commit suicde 2 times. My life was a complete mess. Yes, as you say life is so unmanageable. I do know this therapy is not really helping me. Hey, 16 years and no help. What’s that tell ya? I am… Read more »

Hello everyone, I was reading all of your comments and it made me cry. My husband is a drinker. He drinks as often as possible, until there is no money for food left. And even then, he takes the chance to drink at other peoples houses, like his dad, which is an alcoholic. I read about that I should be concentrating about my life and go on. The difficult thing about my situation is that I moved from a different country to marry this guy and now I am here and I can’t work. I am at home every single… Read more »

Hello everyone,

I am Stella and I have gone through with your posts and I really like it that you all are sharing about your families and family members. I think this is a great way to communicate with others. Thanks for sharing.

Stella

Alcoholism Information

Hi,

Nice article.

[url=http://www.alcoholisminformation.org]Alcoholism Information[/url]
Alcoholism Information

My husband has now been sober for 32 days. I am very proud of him but i am having a really hard time with all of this. He made the decision to become sober. I want to go to an Al-Anon meeting and I know it will help as they talked about it often in the family counseling we got through a treatment center my husband went through. But I am scared. I also am having a hard time dealing with my role now. When life is in turmoil, I seem to function the best. My husband so far is… Read more »

My father is an alcoholic and has been so for over 20 years. I began to notice his drinking problem when I was around twelve years old. He has tried to quit over the years, but never lasted more than a year or two. I’ve always felt sad about it, because he’s a good and caring person who happens to be an alcoholic. My mother has tried several times to get him to stop drinking. I made a few attempts in high school and around Christmas time two years ago. My father said the usual, but failed to act on… Read more »