My alcoholic loved one retired two years ago and since then has done nothing but drink until he passes out every day. I was at my wits’ end and my children knew it. I tried reasoning with him. I cried, I begged, and I told him if I could quit smoking, he could quit drinking. My children told me I needed to get help for myself and convinced me to go to an Al‑Anon meeting. My older daughter had gone and found that it helped her, so I reluctantly went to my first meeting. I left an hour later eager for the week to pass so that I could go back again!
It’s been six months and while I’m not cured, I’ve learned to take things “One Day at a Time.” I’ve also come to realize that alcoholism is not something I can control with tears or anger. I have been granted the serenity to finally accept that which I cannot change. I continue to go to meetings, and while I still catch myself occasionally having personal pity parties, those parties occur less often, and I’m feeling a lot better about my future.
The Forum, November 2019
I feel so alone in this
I don’t know how to keep my family safe
I hate him for putting me in this place
I’m so confused right now. I find that I’m being kept off-balance. I never really know when he’s been drinking until suddenly I notice that he’s acting differently. I then feel like I have to protect myself because it’s like he’s a distortion of his normal self and I’m not sure how he’s going to act. He says he has to hide his drinking because he knows I will judge him. Then when we talk about it, he is somehow able to turn it around so that I feel like I’m the judgy unreasonable person. I just want a peaceful… Read more »
Maybe this sounds mean but it’s how I feel. I don’t want to fix him, I don’t want to hide his addiction, but I don’t want to lose my home either. I’m going to get my career back and divorce him so I can finally have peace. That’s loving myself. I’m not willing to wait for another decade. I married him as a sober man and had I known this would happen, that he would drink again and confuse and sadden my teenage children (from a previous marriage) I’d never have married him. The man I loved is gone. This… Read more »
Thanks everyone for your posts.
My husband is an alcoholic. He becomes a different person when he drinks–very angry and mean, and controlling. He breaks things because he loses his balance, and will rave, sometimes quietly and sometimes loudly. He quit for many years but now he has relapsed, and ruined my Christmas break. I think I know what I’m in for, so I’m not waiting to seek help–from you!
Thank you so much , I thought I was the only one who felt like this
Thank you , that’s how I feel x
I have been going in the rooms of Al-Anon for about 4 years and during that time I attend meetings and share, listen, and read literature. I love Al-Anon and I am Grateful member of Al-Anon😂
I need help. My spouse had been drinking on the way home for “years” in order to help save lives and prevent him from losing his job I’ve agreed that the could help him with the amount of alcohol so he wouldn’t lose his job. He is drinking more than I’ve ever seen. So tonight I hid his alcohol of choice and he was so mean. Scary. So I gave in. He’s a mean drunk.
I’m going thru the same thing. I’m going to meeting on sat. My mother-in-law said you really need this. I do.
I’m lost. Don’t know how to help him or myself. Need help to find my way before I give up altogether.
To find a meeting near you, please visit https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/
I just read anonymous 11/19
I thought I was reading my own thoughts!! Wow, I’m not alone!
I’m not doing so good and I need to start going to meetings! Are there any in the afternoon?
I’ve been going to the dr with my husband and the doc said I truly need to talk to someone or start going to meetings and it would help me very much….