What was the first Al‑Anon tool/slogan you latched onto as a newcomer?
January’s topic is, “What was the first Al‑Anon tool/slogan you latched onto as a newcomer?”
As always, you can also write about Al‑Anon’s three Legacies. This month features Step One, Tradition One, and Concept One.
Sharings on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
New topics are being added each month!
Just For Today bookmark –this was so helpful to me. I also appreciated the members who said with a smile, “Keep Coming Back.”
Step One was truly my beginning. It was “surrendering” time. I understood that I had no power to change anyone or anything but me. Then, it was time to believe it was possible for me to discover myself and what I really wanted for my life to become. My Higher Power was right there at my side, as were the meetings, readings, and friends in the program. It was life-saving, once upon a time, over 40 years ago.
Tradition One: Our common welfare should come first. Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity. After two years in Al-Anon, my marriage of 27 years was at a crossroad. My spouse asked that we try to make changes, but it was a difficult struggle. I still wanted to be right; to have the only solutions. Tradition One helped me weigh my words and actions. Was my behavior conducive to personal progress for both of us? Was what I wanted so important that I had a right to tell my spouse that only my ideas had value? If our… Read more »
“Let Go and Let God” was what I came to understand and practice first in my recovery; it has become my mantra along with Faith over Fear. Coming into this program I had no idea how much fear I was holding onto. My entire recovery has been based on letting go of situations I had zero control over even though I thought I did. Making fear-based decisions is no longer part of me and I am so grateful.
Detachment was the first tool that spoke to me and immediately helped me when I first came to Al-Anon. That leaflet was, and still is, invaluable to me. It told me I was not responsible for the alcoholic, that I should not do for him what he could do for himself. It also reminded me that I should not cause a crisis, but neither should I prevent a crisis. This simple but powerful tool helped set me free from feeling as if saving the alcoholic’s life was up to me. The word “detach” taught me that unless I stopped enabling,… Read more »
Early on, my Sponsor and others mentioned a “letter to God” as a way to learn to “turn over” my fears and worries to a Higher Power. I was willing to try anything to find a “power greater than myself” to help restore me to sanity. So it didn’t seem too far-fetched to start a correspondence with a Higher Power in order to create a conscious contact. Here is one of my first “letters” to God: Dear God, I am ready to fully lean into your arms and let go. I surrender to your will. You have always looked out… Read more »
The first slogans I latched onto were “Let Go & Let God” and “How Important Is It?” I learned I had no control over my alcoholic/addict and had to let my God take over some of the worry and fear. During small struggles, even at work, I used “How Important Is It?” to be able to “let go” of many situations and not fret or obsess over them. It took some time, but the single most effective tool for me was detachment. Once I could do that, my world completely changed. No more worry, obsessing, fearing, etc. Such freedom came… Read more »
One Day at a Time.
Although, I came to the program a few 24 hours ago, I remember hanging on to the slogans for dear life, when I first came to Al-Anon. All the slogans were short and they made sense to me, therefore I used them all, in turn, depending of what I was going through. However, it is the slogan “One Day at a Time” (ODAT), that I used more often and with which I started to settle to a more normal life. This slogan helped me to better put things into perspective. As I took care of only today, things didn’t seem… Read more »
My first three meetings all had the topic of prayer. I heard in a meeting to pray an hour a day. If I was too busy to pray an hour, then I should pray two hours a day. I wasn’t praying at all. So, I started with ten minutes a day. That was tough for me. To just sit there. As time went on, I grew my prayer time little by little. Now, I really feel it when I miss it.
The first slogan I latched onto was the 3 C’s; I didn’t cause the alcoholism, I can’t control alcoholism and I can’t cure alcoholism. What a relief! I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I knew in my head that I couldn’t make my loved ones stop drinking but I still felt like I had to DO something. Learning the 3 C’s removed that urge by taking away the need to take action. Also, learning that I can continue to support the alcoholic through prayer and living the 12 Steps, 12 Traditions and 12 Concepts in my daily… Read more »
Step 1 was the first thing to set me free. I became aware for the first time how I tried to control every person and thing around me thinking that this would make/lead me to happiness now known as “serenity”. This is the behaviour I learned growing up in a family hugely affected by alcohol. Then later at Step 4, I found I was trying to control even God. My arrogance was outstanding. In humility I handed over control to God through Steps 2&3 and Serenity ensured. Of course old habits die hard and I have to do Step 11.… Read more »
“One Day at a Time” was the first slogan that helped me when I came to Al-Anon. At that time in my life it was more like one hour at a time or one minute at a time. My husband had fallen “in love” with someone at work and had finally worked up the nerve to tell me. I thought my entire life was over – I had defined myself as his wife and as the mother of our young children. His binge drinking had turned into nightly drunken scenes because he was so unhappy in our marriage. My screaming… Read more »
Coming home after a 3 week absence during the holidays I was eager to attend an in-person Al-Anon meeting. My home group is a small evening meeting that would be held several days later. I know the warm welcome that each attendee in our meetings feels, but my first meeting back was especially heartening. “I know why I’m here” I whispered to myself as I gazed across the room at the smiles of members, the newcomers that I had not yet met, and the large screen that showed many other participants attending via ZOOM. Settling into my chair, I remembered… Read more »
The first Al-Anon tool/slogan I latched onto as a newcomer was “Progress Not Perfection.” Growing up in a home with a raging alcoholic father, the last thing I wanted to do was cause any trouble. Watching and hearing what my older siblings endured, I kept quiet, tried to do everything right and apologized profusely when I was not perfect. Coming into into the rooms and learning none of God’s children are perfect, not even my father, gave me great relief. “Progress Not Perfection” gave me permission to do the best I could and not feel like a failure if I… Read more »
I hung onto the three A’s for several months: awareness, acceptance and action. I became aware of how I lacked the skills to identify poor behavior – manipulation, control, disrespect. I thought these things were normal! I spent many meetings saying “oh!” continually as examples were described and named by those sharing. I didn’t even know what acceptance was, let alone what action to take. But knowing that I was becoming aware of the disease of alcoholism and how it affected me made me feel that I was working the program and making progress.
I was so overwhelmed and scared at my first Al-Anon meeting. But when an older lady told me the 3 C’s, what a blessing to know that I didn’t cause his drinking, I couldn’t control his drinking, and I couldn’t cure his drinking. What a relief. And then I was able to focus on me and what I could control. That kind lady has passed away in the 35 years since I first came in these doors, but I will never forget her.
The Serenity Prayer was what I first used and still use it all of the time. I break it down into different parts. God Grant Me the Serenity – what I am striving for in my life – To Accept the things I cannot change which is most everything except myself – Courage to change the things I can – my attitude – my outlook on whatever is going on – Wisdom to know the difference, which I am slowly gaining the longer I keep coming back and working the program in all aspects of my life. To me the… Read more »
ODAT- “One Day at a Time”! It helped me break up the long nightmare I was living through into daily bites, I just needed to survive ODAT.
When I entered the doors to Al-Anon for the first time I was broken, hopeless, looking for answers, trying to find a way to repair the broken relationships between my alcoholic son, my wife and myself. I had tried everything under the sun to make him stop drinking. I gave him a list of people, places, and events that would help guide him down a better path and at the bottom I listed the places he should stop going to. I listed the people he shouldn’t hang around with, even giving reasons why they were bad for him. Pardon me… Read more »