What was the first Al‑Anon tool/slogan you latched onto as a newcomer?
January’s topic is, “What was the first Al‑Anon tool/slogan you latched onto as a newcomer?”
As always, you can also write about Al‑Anon’s three Legacies. This month features Step One, Tradition One, and Concept One.
Sharings on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
New topics are being added each month!
PAUSE – Postpone Action Until Serenity Exists. I remind myself of this on a daily basis. It has saved me from countless conversations with my alcoholic that would surely have led to arguments and hurt feelings. It has helped me learn how to detach with love. I can also use this in other aspects of my life; dealing with conflicts at work, with my children, or in my friendships.
I hung on to the Just for Today .
I love the simplicity of the readings in my early recovery days.
Let Go and Let God I recently became aware of just how fragile and precarious is my serenity. Last night I got a text message from my son, the alcoholic “Hey, whatcha up to?” It’s not unusual for us to text each other or chat on the phone, but the timing and content of that text were out of character for the communication between us. I assumed he meant the message for someone else and not for me and my mind raced out of control. Who was he messaging? Was he still in touch with the old girlfriend? Was he contacting someone else? Was he… Read more »
I guess I have to say the first Al-Anon tool I grabbed onto were the 3 A’s: awareness, acceptance, and action. Although I did not know about all 3 of them, I had grabbed onto awareness with a death grip after reading a paragraph at the beginning of “How Al-Anon Works for Family and Friends of Alcholics”. On page 4 of my copy I read: “I feel like there must be some secret to happiness, something everybody else knows….” Yes, finally, I had read words in a book that fit me. I grabbed onto the awareness that I was not… Read more »
The first slogan I latched onto was HALT – am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I would think of this slogan when I noticed myself feeling irritable or using a snippish tone of voice. Most of the time, I was hungry, tired, or both. Pausing whatever activity I was involved in to address the need for food or rest helped calm me down and I started feeling more even-tempered. Practicing the use of this slogan made me aware of how often I worked through lunch at work and ignored my own most basic needs in general. With time I… Read more »
Just For Today bookmark –this was so helpful to me. I also appreciated the members who said with a smile, “Keep Coming Back.”
When I first came to Al-Anon, it was “changed attitudes can aid recovery”, from the Preamble that I used over and over as I learned about the Al-Anon recovery process. I was so sure that the alcoholic was the cause of all my problems and that everything happening in my life was because everyone and everything was against me. I don’t know when exactly, or who said what exactly, that opened my eyes to changing my thinking and attitudes, but in doing so, I discovered peace. Even now, when my mind gets stuck on a thought or idea and I can’t seem to… Read more »
Step One was truly my beginning. It was “surrendering” time. I understood that I had no power to change anyone or anything but me. Then, it was time to believe it was possible for me to discover myself and what I really wanted for my life to become. My Higher Power was right there at my side, as were the meetings, readings, and friends in the program. It was life-saving, once upon a time, over 40 years ago.
Tradition One: Our common welfare should come first. Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity. After two years in Al-Anon, my marriage of 27 years was at a crossroad. My spouse asked that we try to make changes, but it was a difficult struggle. I still wanted to be right; to have the only solutions. Tradition One helped me weigh my words and actions. Was my behavior conducive to personal progress for both of us? Was what I wanted so important that I had a right to tell my spouse that only my ideas had value? If our… Read more »
First saying I latched on to was “People aren’t doing things to me, they are just doing things.” Within my first five meetings I heard that statement, and my life began to change. I had permission to stop being so overly responsible. It wasn’t about me! Some people were just expressing unhappiness or dissatisfaction. They weren’t telling me to fix something; they were just venting. Drivers weren’t purposely cutting me off, they were just preoccupied or stressed. The person at the checkout wasn’t rude to me. Maybe that person had a sick child or couldn’t pay the bills. I found… Read more »
“Let Go and Let God” was what I came to understand and practice first in my recovery; it has become my mantra along with Faith over Fear. Coming into this program I had no idea how much fear I was holding onto. My entire recovery has been based on letting go of situations I had zero control over even though I thought I did. Making fear-based decisions is no longer part of me and I am so grateful.
Detachment was the first tool that spoke to me and immediately helped me when I first came to Al-Anon. That leaflet was, and still is, invaluable to me. It told me I was not responsible for the alcoholic, that I should not do for him what he could do for himself. It also reminded me that I should not cause a crisis, but neither should I prevent a crisis. This simple but powerful tool helped set me free from feeling as if saving the alcoholic’s life was up to me. The word “detach” taught me that unless I stopped enabling,… Read more »
Early on, my Sponsor and others mentioned a “letter to God” as a way to learn to “turn over” my fears and worries to a Higher Power. I was willing to try anything to find a “power greater than myself” to help restore me to sanity. So it didn’t seem too far-fetched to start a correspondence with a Higher Power in order to create a conscious contact. Here is one of my first “letters” to God: Dear God, I am ready to fully lean into your arms and let go. I surrender to your will. You have always looked out… Read more »
The first slogans I latched onto were “Let Go & Let God” and “How Important Is It?” I learned I had no control over my alcoholic/addict and had to let my God take over some of the worry and fear. During small struggles, even at work, I used “How Important Is It?” to be able to “let go” of many situations and not fret or obsess over them. It took some time, but the single most effective tool for me was detachment. Once I could do that, my world completely changed. No more worry, obsessing, fearing, etc. Such freedom came… Read more »
I am new to Al-Anon having gone to 6 meetings, 3 Zoom, 3 walk-in. Each meeting different but the same in concept and presentation. It was in the 6th meeting where several slogans had been placed around the tables and one saying caught my eye, “If it doesn’t have your name on it don’t pick it up”. Perhaps in the other two walk-in meetings there were slogans but today this 6th meeting where my emotions were no longer raw and my mind was not racing, I was still enough to find myself looking at and reading the slogans. I found… Read more »
One Day at a Time.
Although, I came to the program a few 24 hours ago, I remember hanging on to the slogans for dear life, when I first came to Al-Anon. All the slogans were short and they made sense to me, therefore I used them all, in turn, depending of what I was going through. However, it is the slogan “One Day at a Time” (ODAT), that I used more often and with which I started to settle to a more normal life. This slogan helped me to better put things into perspective. As I took care of only today, things didn’t seem… Read more »
My first three meetings all had the topic of prayer. I heard in a meeting to pray an hour a day. If I was too busy to pray an hour, then I should pray two hours a day. I wasn’t praying at all. So, I started with ten minutes a day. That was tough for me. To just sit there. As time went on, I grew my prayer time little by little. Now, I really feel it when I miss it.
The first slogan I latched onto was the 3 C’s; I didn’t cause the alcoholism, I can’t control alcoholism and I can’t cure alcoholism. What a relief! I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I knew in my head that I couldn’t make my loved ones stop drinking but I still felt like I had to DO something. Learning the 3 C’s removed that urge by taking away the need to take action. Also, learning that I can continue to support the alcoholic through prayer and living the 12 Steps, 12 Traditions and 12 Concepts in my daily… Read more »
Step 1 was the first thing to set me free. I became aware for the first time how I tried to control every person and thing around me thinking that this would make/lead me to happiness now known as “serenity”. This is the behaviour I learned growing up in a family hugely affected by alcohol. Then later at Step 4, I found I was trying to control even God. My arrogance was outstanding. In humility I handed over control to God through Steps 2&3 and Serenity ensured. Of course old habits die hard and I have to do Step 11.… Read more »