What was a turning point in your Al‑Anon recovery?
May’s topic is, “What was a turning point in your Al‑Anon recovery?”
As always, you can also write about Al‑Anon’s three Legacies. This month features Step Five, Tradition Five, and Concept Five.
Sharings on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
New topics are being added each month!
My turning point in Al-Anon happened five weeks ago. I was sitting in a meeting and listening to the lead and the shares. Suddenly, everything made sense! It was like I was in a brand new environment where everyone was speaking my language. I had been attending meetings for a while prior to this moment and every meeting left me wondering when I would start to connect. Finally, it happened! Every meeting since that moment I have been able to connect with both the lead and the shares. I am so grateful for this turning point! 🙂
Sailing Lessons “I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.” Louisa May Alcott I grew up in Massachusetts on a lake, and we sailed every summer. Boats and water are a part of my narrative because it’s where I started my life. But it was never really smooth sailing. Twenty-two years ago my world turned upside down. My boat capsized as I started watching my daughter tumble down the rabbit hole of substance use disorder. Mind you, I was living a wonderful life, not perfect, but whose is? I was a hardworking single… Read more »
A turning point in my Al-Anon recovery was after several months of hearing other members share their experience, strength, and hope at in-person meetings. It took time for me to trust others, and in my Al-Anon group, there was never any pressure to share before being comfortable in doing so. The day I finally shared in my group, was my turning point in Al-Anon. I can now openly share in my group. I am learning to trust again but with higher regard for myself, and patience with newcomers giving them the time they need.
The first turning point in my recovery came about 4 months into the program. I realized that i had some pretty consuming resentments toward my mom. So much so that I couldn’t get much help toward my feelings toward my alcoholics. My focus in recovery shifted to dealing with my feelings toward my mom. I heard a reading in an Al-Anon meeting shortly after that. A relationship is A + B = C. I’m A, the other person, being my mom, is B and C is the sum of our relationship. If I change me, the whole dynamic of relationship… Read more »
I’ve had many turning points so far. One that stands out in my mind was the moment of clarity during a meeting, when I realized I had been treating my loved one as the enemy. I was chronically defensive and took everything he said and did as a personal criticism or rejection of me. In that moment of clarity I understood why I had such a hard time finding peace in my home: I was always ready for battle. I was so busy expecting the worst that I blinded myself to the good – and even the best – that… Read more »
My turning point in my recovery is when I realized that I had to keep going over the Steps. It didn’t work for me to accept a Step, even though wholeheartedly and with serious commitment, and think I was done with that Step. I know now that for me the Steps are to be repeated over and over as my life changes. It is comforting to know that the wisdom of the Steps are there for me whenever I need them.
A turning point for me was when my Sponsor asked “what do you want?” Quick as a flash I replied “I can tell you what I DON’T want…” followed by a long list of all the things making me so miserable. She smiled in empathy and patience, and quietly replied “but I asked what you DO want”. I realised I didn’t know the answer 😊
I believe that the three most important things that boosted my recovery were: accepting and finding a Higher Power of my own, doing Service, and attending lots of meetings. In finding a Higher Power, I was able to let go easier, know that Higher Power is in charge and be able to have patience to see “what will be revealed”. Service work kept me in touch with other people in program that were working on their recovery and thus got me out of my own head by NOT isolating-I find that one of the most destructive things I fall back… Read more »
The turning point in my recovery was toward the end of my Fifth Step with my Sponsor. I had three deep dark secrets I never intended to say out loud. I got to the first secret and paused, heart hammering to the point I thought I might pass out. She sensed my hesitation and sat quietly as I struggled with the decision to continue or not. My brain was in a scramble and I knew this was the moment I would either continue Al-Anon or stop attending. I felt a moment of clarity and plunged into the first share. I… Read more »
Thank you for the topic and opportunity to share. About five years ago I took a break from attending Al-Anon Family Groups. I had been a regular committed member for some time. I had always been cynical of members who did this. I was feeling fed up, jaded. I ditched my ideas of my then Higher Power at the same time. It was big for me. I felt some shame. The break was for about 18 months. I didn’t know at the time it was just a break, forever was in my mind. What made me return was feeling so… Read more »
I had been in and out of Al-Anon for many years. I never stayed very long because they did not tell me how to make my alcoholic husband stop drinking. I was angry and frustrated that no matter what I did I couldn’t fix him or our marriage of 43 years. I had lost all hope of happiness and was close to losing my faith in my Higher Power, whom I call God. The turning point for me was when I finally realized that I could not change my husband into the person I wanted him to be. It was… Read more »
My turning point came when my husband and I had been in the program about two years. He came to me and told me he was going back to his first wife and children. I was devastated as we weren’t having any problems. When he left I cried a lot and went to many meetings, talked to a lot of people in the program and got lots of hugs. On one particular night I was very depressed and crying and tried to call my Sponsor. She didn’t answer so I called another Al-Anon friend who had a long time in… Read more »
The turning point in recovery for me was asking someone I trusted to be my Sponsor to assist me in learning to apply the Twelve Steps to my life in addition to studying them. Up to that time, I viewed Step One, and recovery, as a theory; with a Sponsor I experienced Step One, and then recovery, as a fact. It was with a loving, nonjudgmental Sponsor that I first received release from the effects that someone else’s alcoholism had on me. Having a Sponsor is the greatest gift I have gotten in Al-Anon and perhaps the most important choice… Read more »
The turning point in my recovery happened when the Al-Anon book “How Al-Anon Works” came out — that book became my recovery “bible” — plus a strong recovery home group with an Alateen panel that came to our meeting the last Friday of each month. Step 1 in “How Al-Anon Works” was particularly powerful. It was no longer enough to sit in meetings and listen and share. I needed to do the actual work of recovery — the Steps and to live by the principles in the slogans. When I worked the program, the program worked me.
After my husband spent 8 days in the hospital and nearly died of kidney failure in January 2022, my expectations were that now he’s detoxed and sober we could do healthy activities together and start over. Less than a month later I found his stash and became enraged. After crying about it in my home meeting, I met my Sponsor. I had been coming to Al-Anon for about 5 years at this point. Several months later after another tearful sharing, my Sponsor taught me that my sharing in the meeting should be to help others with how the program works… Read more »
There have been three turning points in my Al-Anon practice that resulted in big leaps in my growth along spiritual lines. The first was when I started reading the literature. I had gone to meetings for 2 years without picking up a single piece of CAL. Then I quit the program because I wasn’t getting much out of it. Several years later I returned to Al-Anon and purchased the daily readers. Reading the literature was salve to my wounded soul. Daily infusions of this wonderful medicine brought much needed relief and healing. Reading the literature also finally gave me a… Read more »
For a long time I confused Al-Anon with this idea that if I let go of my attempt to control another person, they will just organically do what I want. I used this as a bargaining tool with my Higher Power – I’m doing what you want, now give me what I want. It wasn’t until I had a hard conversation with my Sponsor that I realized I was never actually letting go of the outcome I wanted, I was only letting go of how I would ordinarily go about getting it. So when they (the other person and my… Read more »
A turning point in my Al-Anon recovery was learning to keep the focus on myself. I realized that focusing outward on the alcoholic made my life unmanageable. I did this unconsciously because I didn’t want to look at me.
The turning point for my recovery was when I learned the program was about me, not my alcoholic or anyone else’s issues. I finally found a place I could discover who I am and what I like. I could learn to become an adult and take responsibility for my actions. It was and continues to be life changing.
My turning point was having the courage to attend my first Al-Anon meeting and for the first time understanding I am not alone. I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t change it. I can only focus, change, and take care of myself.