What Keeps You Coming Back?
When did you decide that Al‑Anon was right for you, and what has kept you coming back? Did the decision come as a moment of clarity, or did it grow slowly through shared experience, strength, hope, and gentle understanding? We invite you to reflect on your journey, or to share on one or more of our Legacies. This month features Step Nine, Tradition Nine, and Concept Nine.
Sharings on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
New topics are being added each month!
I’ve been in Al-Anon for less than three years. I came because alcoholism had become a powerful presence in my family, and I didn’t know what to do about it. For much of my life, when I faced a difficult problem, I tried to understand it, work harder, and find a solution. That approach served me well. It didn’t work with alcoholism. Almost immediately, meetings offered relief. I heard experiences different from mine, yet the feelings often sounded familiar. I also made new friends who were interested in me and my recovery. Then Al-Anon began following me home. Memorable slogans,… Read more »
What kept me coming back was my first in-person meeting. There was a person in the group who shared, and I remember thinking to myself, How does this person know exactly what I’m struggling with? Then other people shared their experiences, and I immediately felt less alone. I realized there were others who were facing similar struggles—and, more importantly, they had found hope. I really wanted to explore this because, when I first started attending meetings, I felt absolutely overwhelmed, lost, and untethered. For the first time in years, I felt lighter. I could feel the sun shining on me… Read more »
What keeps me coming back started sometime in the winter of 1977. I came to Al-Anon in March 1976, very much against my will. My husband at the time sent me to Al-Anon to learn to mind my own business, as he put it. I had no desire to be there or to stay. I was simply waiting for his okay to return to AA meetings with him. In our home, there was emotional and physical abuse. One night during the winter of 1977, when an argument was getting out of hand, my husband threw me out of the house.… Read more »
What keeps me coming back is the wonderful members of al-anon and knowing they have gone through the same things as me. If I miss a meeting or two, I really feel it – meetings are a good reminder for me to keep on working my program and reflect on my own behavior daily.
From the moment I walked through the doors of my first meeting, I knew I had found my safe place, my tribe, and my family of choice. I have had moments when I briefly entertained the thought of leaving Al-Anon, only to quickly put that idea through the wood chipper. When my daughter passed away, it was my Higher Power and Al-Anon that saved me—spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. This does not mean that I do not grieve for my daughter. I do, every day. But I also spend time in prayer and meditation with my Higher Power each day,… Read more »
I keep coming back because I am a work in progress. I have found “my people.” They understand what I am going through. Even though I am a well-grounded, retired professional, my feelings can sometimes wander back to regret, self-pity, resentment, frustration, and more. Attending a meeting helps set me back on the right course. Others have gone through—or are currently going through—situations similar to my own. Their experiences remind me that I am not alone. Their compassion reminds me that I only need to pick up the phone and call one of them when my thoughts begin spiraling downward.… Read more »
The first meeting I attended, I knew I wanted to be with these people, even though I didn’t know them yet. I did not understand everything they were saying, but I could feel their love and the care they had for one another—and for me. After 25 years, I left the fellowship when my husband died. Fifteen years later, I returned when I realized I needed the Twelve Step fellowship to help me rebuild my relationship with my grown son. After about two years, that happened. I will remain in this fellowship for years to come because the reminders of… Read more »
Years ago, I came to Al-Anon as a place of peace and reflection, while others shared their stories and I got healthier. Now, I come to Al-Anon to listen in peace, to remind myself of where I came from, and to share my story with others who might need to hear my message.
Hi my name is Cara 👋 I’ve been a member of Al-Anon for 10 years this coming December. What’s kept me coming back…experience using the tools, slogans, CAL, and connections I’ve made. The second would be strength. During this 10 years I’ve learned I didn’t cause alcoholism, I can’t control alcoholism, and I cannot cure alcoholism. I learned I am only in control of me, my actions, my attitude. I’ve learned to love others right where they are at. I lost my Mum to this disease in May of 2022. I will never forget walking into the meeting that week,… Read more »
As I work my program, I am more content with my life. My changed attitude affects the responses of those around me.
Although I can’t pinpoint exactly when I knew Al-Anon was right for me, I felt a connection at my very first meeting. The people commenting were telling MY story! Yes, some of the details were different, but the feelings of insecurity, fear, and doubt rang through as clear as a bell. I felt a kinship that pushed away the loneliness and “uniqueness” I had been feeling. In short, I found my people. That is what keeps me coming back, and I will continue to do so until I’m physically unable to attend in person. Then, I can attend virtually. I… Read more »
As I near 28 years in Al-Anon, mainly attending Zoom meetings, I’m grateful for the program as a whole, especially after beginning discussions about the Concepts over the last couple of years. Working a complete program involves all three sides of the triangle: Recovery, Unity, and Service in Al-Anon. The biggest reason I keep coming back is that no service position in Al-Anon is too big or too small. Being there for myself and helping newcomers in whatever way possible is really important to me. Starting as young as I did is rare for a man my age, as I… Read more »
“Dawn breaks over Marblehead” is a regional New England idiom typically used to explain when someone finally understands something obvious. The expression also serves as a tongue-in-cheek comment about a hard-headed person. So it was for me. I’d been going to Al-Anon regularly for a while, relishing my one hour of serenity each week, when it dawned on me that I could go to more meetings and achieve even more serenity. As I proceeded to explore that discovery, I became more aware of how much I had been affected by the family disease of alcoholism. I soon realized that it… Read more »
My first meeting was a virtual meeting during the COVID period, when people could not meet indoors. The topic was all about control, and I just sat there listening and nodding my head to everything I heard. I could relate to everything that was being shared. Then I got to speak as a newcomer, and I just opened up about the issues at home and also about my struggles with trying to control things. I felt like I had released a lot that was on my mind and immediately felt at peace, being able to let it all go. The… Read more »
What keeps me coming back is gratitude. If ‘coming back’ is defined as attending and participating in meetings, doing just that on a regular weekly basis is one way I practice gratitude and it is sometimes the one single bright spot in my day. As I grow into my 30th year of active membership in Al-Anon, I can say that today I attend and participate as a means of not so much ‘giving back’ but as a means of practicing gratitude – of expressing hope, that there is a solution; that it really is possible to experience serenity and “…even… Read more »
I wish there were a good meeting near me. I moved in with a family member who has Alzheimer’s two and a half years ago, in a smaller town. Before that, I had a home meeting that I had to drive about 40 minutes to attend, but it was my HOME meeting. I miss the camaraderie—the meeting after the meeting. Granted, there were gossips, too; however, most people were actually IN the program, with an acknowledgment and acceptance of their own challenges. I hope to travel to a meeting in the next town over eventually or to have someone care… Read more »
The first time I stepped into an Al-Anon room, I knew I’d found one of my “tribes.” I have many tribes. I shared in one of my first meetings that I was addicted to people. I was actually addicted to trying to fix people—that’s what I was really saying. I’ve stayed in the rooms for a large variety of reasons, but mostly because I knew what my life was like before and what my life is like now, with the help of the fellowship, the Steps, and the Traditions. I am a better husband, sibling, and friend because of my… Read more »