I am new here. Been married to an alcoholic and drug user for 23 yrs. After all the hurt and pain how do you trust them again after so long? When they drink there’s secrets and in AA secrets. I am not a drinker so when we got together he was sober 13 yrs. There’s been a few relapse and I know every time. The lies start money goes missing, starts fights just to leave. When I always stood by him thru it all. My life revolves around him because we have one kid still at home 19. Now to… Read more »

I have been in Al-Anon for 29 yrs. It’s a great place to be. There are meetings on Zoom, Intherooms.com, I chair the Saturday Night Meeting in there. It’s at 9pm EST

I am new and have not attended a meeting yet. My wife is an alcoholic. We met 4 years ago and at that time she drank 2 maybe 3 tall cans a day, not enough to get her drunk. We always have fun with each other when she’s sober. When she’s drunk I find myself tense, wishing she would just go to bed. Her drinking intensified after her father died and she had to take months off of work to deal with the pain. She started drowning the pain with beer. At first it was 4 cans a day, then… Read more »

Oh my it hurts reading so much of what has happened in my past in so many posts! This program has been around for a while. I have come and gone for several years, back and forth, and get so much insight and just helpful baby steps. I really need to stick around for the long run. Set boundaries. You will find that we have choices. We’ve been hurt by someone else’s behavior but you are here taking a step. I need to accept that there are times I can’t rely on my spouse because of the drinking. The griping… Read more »

My wife is a closet drinker.
Sometimes 2x weekly, drinking vodka or wine she has hidden around the house.
Not really sure the quantity she drinks, but she is drunk and goes to bed at 6pm after starting at 4-5 pm.
I stopped trying to talk with her the next morning, after doing so for the past 10-12 years.
It’s sad, I don’t know what to do, and it sure is lonely here by myself 4-5 nights a week.
Thanks for listening

My AH has drank all his life. I thought having kids would change him. His parents are drinkers which tells me that growing up in that environment, our kids will possibly become drinkers too. I drink rarely, 2-3 drinks and can control myself, my husband cannot and drinks to get trashed. Verbal and some physical abuse been in our lives for years. I want change and I know my husband does too. I attended my first Al-Anon meeting virtually yesterday and it helps to hear others in situations like mine. I hope and pray things will turn around and stay… Read more »

I just read all the posts here, which go back 11 years. I wasn’t planning to post, but after reading so many that echo my own experiences, I couldn’t help it. Thank you all for your bravery and for being here. Just reading others’ experiences helps me by showing me I’m not alone. I’m married to an alcoholic and am a recovering alcoholic myself. When we first got together, almost 30 years ago, we were young and innocent. Over many years, long before our children came along, we enjoyed drinking and drugs together, recreationally at first, but over time it… Read more »

I love my boyfriend dearly and we get along very well. He has been clean for 4 years this past Nov. What I am having trouble dealing with is the constant meetings, the constant Facebook checking, the fact that he gets to hear “Atta boy” 3-4 times a week. He has informed me that this is something that he will have to do for the rest of his life. He moved in with me a couple of months ago because with his addiction came financial and legal issues and he could no longer afford his apartment. I thought it was… Read more »

I have been married for 25 years to a highly functioning alcoholic and I am looking forward to my first Al-Anon meeting. Why it’s taken me so long, I don’t know. I need help and support. We drank socially when we first met and were married so things seemed “normal” for us. His drinking quickly increased when we opened a business and started having children, less than two years in. He stayed late into the nights drinking with our employees while I was up doing night time feedings, wondering if this would be the night he wouldn’t make it home.… Read more »

My 30-year-old son is an alcoholic and refuses to get help. I am brand new to Al Anon and haven’t started the steps yet, but I have been reading these comments and getting an idea of what some of them are. It’s so difficult for a mom to accept the fact that she has no control over her son’s addiction. As parents, we always try to protect our children and keep them safe from harm. I know that he is an adult and the choice to drink is his and his alone, but accepting the fact that I can’t do… Read more »

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences on here. I am crushed. I don’t even know if I can get the strength to write at the moment. I am married to the perfect man for me when he is sober. He is not the same person when he drinks. I had never ever been around alcohol growing up. Neither of my parents drink. Not many of our family members like grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins drank. Maybe a couple did social drinking once in awhile. We are all Southern Baptist and were just raised to treat our bodies like a temple… Read more »

I just started Al-Anon. My first day was last week. I’m new into this so I don’t have a lot to say about it, but the little I have seen is eye-opening. I see people hurting and I realize that the hurt they have is what I have been carrying with me all my years. My father was an alcoholic. I parented him since I was a child. I see the unmanaging of my life and the life of my siblings being carried forward as a result of being in a diseased family. I feel that at this point, I’m… Read more »

I very much appreciate these podcasts–thank you! I’m coming back to Al-Anon / ACA after having attending a few meetings a number of years ago–I think I will benefit from this a great deal.

I am so glad I started reading. So many of these stories relate to me. I have an alcoholic boyfriend, no living together for the last 5 years. He has helped me buy the property to build this house. But he has not contributed to any house payment in the last 5 years. I so desperate for help. I always knew he drank, but in the last year it has become so much worse. His drinking has ruined so may occasions, I am also afraid to go home when I know he is there. He is very confrontational with everything..… Read more »

From reading some of these posts I have to realize that what I am going through is a compilation of what some others are going through. I wasn’t going to write on here because I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time but I need to do this for me. My husband enjoys drinking. I have asked him kindly to stop because it is hurting me and my boys. He doesn’t drink every day but he will sometimes not show up after work or on a Friday here and there and not contact us to let us know where he is.… Read more »

Where can one take a 11 year old to help with coping skills from a alcoholic mother? I’ve searched all around and only find alAteen and that’s for 13-18 yr olds. The situation does allow for family counseling. Was thinking he could go to school for help but he’s so scared they will remove him from home. My son has informed me of the situation at home and the boy has confirmed it. I knew just from looking but not close to family to confront on this extremely sensitive subject. We only go to birthday parties and class trips together.… Read more »

I really need help because I don’t know how to help my husband with his drinking problem and it has been really hard on me mentally, physically. I have been under so much stress in the last 24 years of marriage. I don’t know what to do.

Hi I have been married for almost 9 years and been together for 12 years when I met him he was a alcoholic and smoked weed. He is not able to work anymore due to copd so I work but when he dosnt have money for drink or weed he gets angry and has a go at me telling me it’s my fault and how he looked after me for yeRs when I didn’t work I try and say yeah but I do t drink or so drugs. His mates come over and all they do is sit there and… Read more »

I met my alcoholic husband 35 years ago, and we are married now for the past 32 years. When I met my spouse, I was a wreck–depleted physically, mentally and spiritually, and to add insult to injury I was suffering from low self-esteem. I would say to myself and to others, “Why me!” While in that sorry state of mass confusion, I met my sober alcoholic, and as the saying goes, “When the master cannot come, He sends a messenger,” and that is how I was introduced to Al-Anon. At first I thought I would go as an observer, but… Read more »

Thank-you and prayers to all of you who have written your life story. I have lived with an alcoholic husband for 31 years. He drank only socially the first 10 years. We were married for 5 years before I got pregnant, as I was sending him to school and supporting us. He worked part time after 3 years and I helped him study. After our son was born he started to drink a little more, until he lost his job after 5 years. I tried to be extremely supportive. My mother passed and then my father. He helped his family… Read more »