I don’t have a car right now and live 2 miles from town. I was raised by an alcoholic. One daughter in currently in AA but my other daughter is struggling. I need to know how to help. What to do and not do.
Jay
1 year ago
Hi. I grew up in a functioning alcoholic home. My brother (60 years old) is still an alcoholic. My ex (3rd) wife got into heavy drugs and had to be removed by the police in 2015. My current girlfriend is 7 months sober but did a lot of “damage” in the year and a half prior. I’ve gone to many AA meetings with her and always get a little something out of it, but I’ve been told Al-Anon may benefit me.
Laura
2 years ago
I dont know how to deal with my boyfriend anymore he drinks a dozen beer or more a night every single night we have a daughter together and my son from a previous relationshi. I stay because I feel sorry for him his family treats him like crap and I worry if I left that he would self destruct and he has come along way. For me the love has faded I’m anxious and resentful and on high alert during the say as his mood fluctuates I dont like how he speaks to the kids and it’s like I’m dating… Read more »
Chas
3 years ago
I chaired a meeting tonight on Part 1 of this podcast! Amazing! I love this website! What a resource.
I am starting a six part series on this podcast!
Thank you!
Look for Electronic Meetings Just For Today on Discord App.
Jessica
3 years ago
I am new here but I’m not kinda new here. I went to my first meeting in spring 2019. My husband is an alcoholic. I remember like it was yesterday. I wanted to commit suicide. I was tired from all the stress and pain and how I lost myself in the misery of him drinking. I did everything in my power to make sure he goes to meetings at the time but it was not helping at all, he went and got the help. Fast forward 2021, on March he would’ve had 2 years sober but he relapsed. It’s been… Read more »
Nette
3 years ago
I am new here. Been married to an alcoholic and drug user for 23 yrs. After all the hurt and pain how do you trust them again after so long? When they drink there’s secrets and in AA secrets. I am not a drinker so when we got together he was sober 13 yrs. There’s been a few relapse and I know every time. The lies start money goes missing, starts fights just to leave. When I always stood by him thru it all. My life revolves around him because we have one kid still at home 19. Now to… Read more »
Darla
3 years ago
I have been in Al-Anon for 29 yrs. It’s a great place to be. There are meetings on Zoom, Intherooms.com, I chair the Saturday Night Meeting in there. It’s at 9pm EST
Kristen
3 years ago
I am new and have not attended a meeting yet. My wife is an alcoholic. We met 4 years ago and at that time she drank 2 maybe 3 tall cans a day, not enough to get her drunk. We always have fun with each other when she’s sober. When she’s drunk I find myself tense, wishing she would just go to bed. Her drinking intensified after her father died and she had to take months off of work to deal with the pain. She started drowning the pain with beer. At first it was 4 cans a day, then… Read more »
Lisa
3 years ago
Oh my it hurts reading so much of what has happened in my past in so many posts! This program has been around for a while. I have come and gone for several years, back and forth, and get so much insight and just helpful baby steps. I really need to stick around for the long run. Set boundaries. You will find that we have choices. We’ve been hurt by someone else’s behavior but you are here taking a step. I need to accept that there are times I can’t rely on my spouse because of the drinking. The griping… Read more »
Tom
3 years ago
My wife is a closet drinker.
Sometimes 2x weekly, drinking vodka or wine she has hidden around the house.
Not really sure the quantity she drinks, but she is drunk and goes to bed at 6pm after starting at 4-5 pm.
I stopped trying to talk with her the next morning, after doing so for the past 10-12 years.
It’s sad, I don’t know what to do, and it sure is lonely here by myself 4-5 nights a week.
Thanks for listening
Courtney
4 years ago
My AH has drank all his life. I thought having kids would change him. His parents are drinkers which tells me that growing up in that environment, our kids will possibly become drinkers too. I drink rarely, 2-3 drinks and can control myself, my husband cannot and drinks to get trashed. Verbal and some physical abuse been in our lives for years. I want change and I know my husband does too. I attended my first Al-Anon meeting virtually yesterday and it helps to hear others in situations like mine. I hope and pray things will turn around and stay… Read more »
Sarah
4 years ago
I just read all the posts here, which go back 11 years. I wasn’t planning to post, but after reading so many that echo my own experiences, I couldn’t help it. Thank you all for your bravery and for being here. Just reading others’ experiences helps me by showing me I’m not alone. I’m married to an alcoholic and am a recovering alcoholic myself. When we first got together, almost 30 years ago, we were young and innocent. Over many years, long before our children came along, we enjoyed drinking and drugs together, recreationally at first, but over time it… Read more »
Angela
5 years ago
I love my boyfriend dearly and we get along very well. He has been clean for 4 years this past Nov. What I am having trouble dealing with is the constant meetings, the constant Facebook checking, the fact that he gets to hear “Atta boy” 3-4 times a week. He has informed me that this is something that he will have to do for the rest of his life. He moved in with me a couple of months ago because with his addiction came financial and legal issues and he could no longer afford his apartment. I thought it was… Read more »
Wendy
5 years ago
I have been married for 25 years to a highly functioning alcoholic and I am looking forward to my first Al-Anon meeting. Why it’s taken me so long, I don’t know. I need help and support. We drank socially when we first met and were married so things seemed “normal” for us. His drinking quickly increased when we opened a business and started having children, less than two years in. He stayed late into the nights drinking with our employees while I was up doing night time feedings, wondering if this would be the night he wouldn’t make it home.… Read more »
Sophie
5 years ago
My 30-year-old son is an alcoholic and refuses to get help. I am brand new to Al Anon and haven’t started the steps yet, but I have been reading these comments and getting an idea of what some of them are. It’s so difficult for a mom to accept the fact that she has no control over her son’s addiction. As parents, we always try to protect our children and keep them safe from harm. I know that he is an adult and the choice to drink is his and his alone, but accepting the fact that I can’t do… Read more »
Barbara D.
6 years ago
Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences on here. I am crushed. I don’t even know if I can get the strength to write at the moment. I am married to the perfect man for me when he is sober. He is not the same person when he drinks. I had never ever been around alcohol growing up. Neither of my parents drink. Not many of our family members like grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins drank. Maybe a couple did social drinking once in awhile. We are all Southern Baptist and were just raised to treat our bodies like a temple… Read more »
Mary
6 years ago
I just started Al-Anon. My first day was last week. I’m new into this so I don’t have a lot to say about it, but the little I have seen is eye-opening. I see people hurting and I realize that the hurt they have is what I have been carrying with me all my years. My father was an alcoholic. I parented him since I was a child. I see the unmanaging of my life and the life of my siblings being carried forward as a result of being in a diseased family. I feel that at this point, I’m… Read more »
Nancy
6 years ago
I very much appreciate these podcasts–thank you! I’m coming back to Al-Anon / ACA after having attending a few meetings a number of years ago–I think I will benefit from this a great deal.
sandra
6 years ago
I am so glad I started reading. So many of these stories relate to me. I have an alcoholic boyfriend, no living together for the last 5 years. He has helped me buy the property to build this house. But he has not contributed to any house payment in the last 5 years. I so desperate for help. I always knew he drank, but in the last year it has become so much worse. His drinking has ruined so may occasions, I am also afraid to go home when I know he is there. He is very confrontational with everything..… Read more »
Consider trying our electronic meetings. There are a variety of platforms and meeting times. https://meetings.al-anon.org/electronic-meeting-page/
I don’t have a car right now and live 2 miles from town. I was raised by an alcoholic. One daughter in currently in AA but my other daughter is struggling. I need to know how to help. What to do and not do.
Hi. I grew up in a functioning alcoholic home. My brother (60 years old) is still an alcoholic. My ex (3rd) wife got into heavy drugs and had to be removed by the police in 2015. My current girlfriend is 7 months sober but did a lot of “damage” in the year and a half prior. I’ve gone to many AA meetings with her and always get a little something out of it, but I’ve been told Al-Anon may benefit me.
I dont know how to deal with my boyfriend anymore he drinks a dozen beer or more a night every single night we have a daughter together and my son from a previous relationshi. I stay because I feel sorry for him his family treats him like crap and I worry if I left that he would self destruct and he has come along way. For me the love has faded I’m anxious and resentful and on high alert during the say as his mood fluctuates I dont like how he speaks to the kids and it’s like I’m dating… Read more »
I chaired a meeting tonight on Part 1 of this podcast! Amazing! I love this website! What a resource.
I am starting a six part series on this podcast!
Thank you!
Look for Electronic Meetings Just For Today on Discord App.
I am new here but I’m not kinda new here. I went to my first meeting in spring 2019. My husband is an alcoholic. I remember like it was yesterday. I wanted to commit suicide. I was tired from all the stress and pain and how I lost myself in the misery of him drinking. I did everything in my power to make sure he goes to meetings at the time but it was not helping at all, he went and got the help. Fast forward 2021, on March he would’ve had 2 years sober but he relapsed. It’s been… Read more »
I am new here. Been married to an alcoholic and drug user for 23 yrs. After all the hurt and pain how do you trust them again after so long? When they drink there’s secrets and in AA secrets. I am not a drinker so when we got together he was sober 13 yrs. There’s been a few relapse and I know every time. The lies start money goes missing, starts fights just to leave. When I always stood by him thru it all. My life revolves around him because we have one kid still at home 19. Now to… Read more »
I have been in Al-Anon for 29 yrs. It’s a great place to be. There are meetings on Zoom, Intherooms.com, I chair the Saturday Night Meeting in there. It’s at 9pm EST
I am new and have not attended a meeting yet. My wife is an alcoholic. We met 4 years ago and at that time she drank 2 maybe 3 tall cans a day, not enough to get her drunk. We always have fun with each other when she’s sober. When she’s drunk I find myself tense, wishing she would just go to bed. Her drinking intensified after her father died and she had to take months off of work to deal with the pain. She started drowning the pain with beer. At first it was 4 cans a day, then… Read more »
Oh my it hurts reading so much of what has happened in my past in so many posts! This program has been around for a while. I have come and gone for several years, back and forth, and get so much insight and just helpful baby steps. I really need to stick around for the long run. Set boundaries. You will find that we have choices. We’ve been hurt by someone else’s behavior but you are here taking a step. I need to accept that there are times I can’t rely on my spouse because of the drinking. The griping… Read more »
My wife is a closet drinker.
Sometimes 2x weekly, drinking vodka or wine she has hidden around the house.
Not really sure the quantity she drinks, but she is drunk and goes to bed at 6pm after starting at 4-5 pm.
I stopped trying to talk with her the next morning, after doing so for the past 10-12 years.
It’s sad, I don’t know what to do, and it sure is lonely here by myself 4-5 nights a week.
Thanks for listening
My AH has drank all his life. I thought having kids would change him. His parents are drinkers which tells me that growing up in that environment, our kids will possibly become drinkers too. I drink rarely, 2-3 drinks and can control myself, my husband cannot and drinks to get trashed. Verbal and some physical abuse been in our lives for years. I want change and I know my husband does too. I attended my first Al-Anon meeting virtually yesterday and it helps to hear others in situations like mine. I hope and pray things will turn around and stay… Read more »
I just read all the posts here, which go back 11 years. I wasn’t planning to post, but after reading so many that echo my own experiences, I couldn’t help it. Thank you all for your bravery and for being here. Just reading others’ experiences helps me by showing me I’m not alone. I’m married to an alcoholic and am a recovering alcoholic myself. When we first got together, almost 30 years ago, we were young and innocent. Over many years, long before our children came along, we enjoyed drinking and drugs together, recreationally at first, but over time it… Read more »
I love my boyfriend dearly and we get along very well. He has been clean for 4 years this past Nov. What I am having trouble dealing with is the constant meetings, the constant Facebook checking, the fact that he gets to hear “Atta boy” 3-4 times a week. He has informed me that this is something that he will have to do for the rest of his life. He moved in with me a couple of months ago because with his addiction came financial and legal issues and he could no longer afford his apartment. I thought it was… Read more »
I have been married for 25 years to a highly functioning alcoholic and I am looking forward to my first Al-Anon meeting. Why it’s taken me so long, I don’t know. I need help and support. We drank socially when we first met and were married so things seemed “normal” for us. His drinking quickly increased when we opened a business and started having children, less than two years in. He stayed late into the nights drinking with our employees while I was up doing night time feedings, wondering if this would be the night he wouldn’t make it home.… Read more »
My 30-year-old son is an alcoholic and refuses to get help. I am brand new to Al Anon and haven’t started the steps yet, but I have been reading these comments and getting an idea of what some of them are. It’s so difficult for a mom to accept the fact that she has no control over her son’s addiction. As parents, we always try to protect our children and keep them safe from harm. I know that he is an adult and the choice to drink is his and his alone, but accepting the fact that I can’t do… Read more »
Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences on here. I am crushed. I don’t even know if I can get the strength to write at the moment. I am married to the perfect man for me when he is sober. He is not the same person when he drinks. I had never ever been around alcohol growing up. Neither of my parents drink. Not many of our family members like grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins drank. Maybe a couple did social drinking once in awhile. We are all Southern Baptist and were just raised to treat our bodies like a temple… Read more »
I just started Al-Anon. My first day was last week. I’m new into this so I don’t have a lot to say about it, but the little I have seen is eye-opening. I see people hurting and I realize that the hurt they have is what I have been carrying with me all my years. My father was an alcoholic. I parented him since I was a child. I see the unmanaging of my life and the life of my siblings being carried forward as a result of being in a diseased family. I feel that at this point, I’m… Read more »
I very much appreciate these podcasts–thank you! I’m coming back to Al-Anon / ACA after having attending a few meetings a number of years ago–I think I will benefit from this a great deal.
I am so glad I started reading. So many of these stories relate to me. I have an alcoholic boyfriend, no living together for the last 5 years. He has helped me buy the property to build this house. But he has not contributed to any house payment in the last 5 years. I so desperate for help. I always knew he drank, but in the last year it has become so much worse. His drinking has ruined so may occasions, I am also afraid to go home when I know he is there. He is very confrontational with everything..… Read more »