“Introduction of Al-Anon Meeting” podcasts: 3) What do we mean when we say our lives became unmanageable? Does it mean we will always feel angry or sad or depressed? Will our lives continue to be as chaotic as they are today? Is there any hope for improvement?
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I have finally reached rock bottom. My father died of alcoholism two and a half years ago and five days ago, my alcoholic husband died from alcohol right in front of me. I did CPR and called 911 and the paramedics came and shocked his heart and got his heart beating again. He is in the hospital in critical condition and his prognosis is still unknown. I know I need to get help and I have been reading and listening to the podcasts off and on all day. I hope to be able to find an in person meeting and… Read more »
I came to Al Anon after confiding in a friend that my adult son was going to rehab. She gave me some Al-Anon reading material and I read stories that I could relate to. But it took many more months and a few new crises before I walked in the door of a meeting. I came looking for a way to get my son sober. I came looking for a safe place where I could tell someone about all the awful things my son and ex-husband (a functioning binge drinker) were doing that were ruining my life. It took a… Read more »
Why does my wife feel that alcohol consumption is just my problem. I decided to go numb rather than suffer daily weekly monthly yearly hearing no no no no I’m too tired, I’m not in the mood, until I gave up. Did I miss something? Is marriage a one way street? I’m talking 25 plus years of twice a year. 15 years Before I started drinking to excess which I readily admit. I mean what the heck. I say I’m really frustrated and I don’t understand, why is this happening. And that’s just dismissed as a sorry you feel that… Read more »
For me what I consider my life being unmanageable when my partner’s bouts of substance abuse interferes with his ability to function. Certain things I need help with from him-he can’t do safely or at all and so plans, appointments etc. have to be cancelled if I’m not in a position to hire a stranger to help me. My efforts to get him to move out on his own aren’t working. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve been crying throughout these podcasts. I have felt alone for so long and now I realize I’m not alone. So many others share my feelings. thank you
Oh these are so my life…24 years with alcoholic, disabled spouse. He is unbearable and I think it is time for me to leave. I am old and sour and so very sad all the time. I have a strong belief in God and that He is in control but my husband (who also loves God) is letting alcohol be in control. He is so lovely when he is sober, early in the day, then after a trip to the market, he slowly turns into Mr. Hyde. I just want him back or not to make it through the next… Read more »
Our lives have become unmanageable means that all the controlling behaviors we have expressed to try and stop them from behaving the way they are or stop them from drinking (like, crying, pleading, trying to fix the relationship, tracking his whereabouts, snooping, arguing, creating fights,- behaviors we use to try to get the other person to change) means your life is out of control and your life has become unmanageable because you are trying to control what you cannot. Forgiving (which I call letting go – does not mean that you stop loving or caring it means that you let… Read more »
Hello. My name’s Lianne. I came across this website because I was trying to find a meeting. I missed my Al-Anon home group meeting yesterday and so I decided to go to another meeting today but I missed that one too. My brother came back from drug and alcohol rehab 8 months ago. While visiting him during the family part of the rehab program the counsellors suggested I go to Al-Anon. I try to go regularly but sometimes I feel so caught up in my thoughts. These podcasts helped me see that this week I have been obsessing over my… Read more »
It’s soo hard. I can relate to alcoholics–mine is a functional alcoholic, always desperate for a drink. It is 20 plus years. Every week seems to become more and more difficult. It doesn’t ever stop. Only way out is to get out and leave and never look back. If you don’t see them, it won’t bother you as much. If you live with them, only then they have the power to make your life miserable. Life is too short to waste it on selfish people who love drugs/alcohol more than life itself. Good luck to all enduring the same situation.… Read more »
I have recently seen a therapist due to my anxiety disorder. She brought it to my attention that my anxiety is a result of being codependent. My anxiety alone has made my life so unmanageable, I am feeling panicked with the thought of being in a group to share my story! I was raised with an alcoholic stepfather. I didn’t realize his alcoholism had affected me so much. I was always a strong-minded person, and left the house at a young age to just detach myself from that lifestyle. My mother has MS, and my brother with Down syndrome, which… Read more »
Great information. Lucky me, I recently found your site by accident (stumbled upon). I’ve saved it for later!
I am completely baffled by alcoholism. I met my significant other over two years ago. He was staight up with me about his previous drinking & even how he spent time in jail. He seemed so in control, drinking beer but never to drunkeness. We were very happy and really enjoyed being together. After a few months, he started staying with us (me & my young teen-age son). Life was wonderful. He was the man of my dreams!! Eventually, he started buying liquor & having one or two ‘on the rocks’ at night. Wasn’t an issue, very in control. He… Read more »
I will be going to my first Al-Anon meeting tonight. Thank you for affording me this opportunity to meet with others who may be able to help me find some buoys in the rough sea I’m in right now. My husband doesn’t have an off switch. After reading these entries I see many aspects of my own behavior that have been both loving and destructive. When I met my husband, 17 years ago, he had 13 years of sobriety. After two years of marriage he started to drink beer. It has been escalating up and down for the past 10… Read more »
My alcoholic parent is nearby now, after 20 years. I’m turning OCD. I want the approval from parent to child, but I know I won’t ever get it. At the other extreme, I just want to move far, far away. My parent left my sibling with a huge issue. Now my parent is near me and I am so afraid of the huge issue being dropped in my lap. With the OCD I am trying to control something I know I can’t control. But my parent doesn’t respect and/or doesn’t know anything about boundaries. I attempt to set boundaries, but… Read more »
In April I married the love of my life. We fell in love at summer camp when we were 12. We were like peas and carrots. After that summer we lost touch, and reconnected on Facebook 25 years later. I have never loved anyone more than this man in my life. As it turns out. . . he loves me too, but he loves heroin and meth more. I found him again, fell in love with him, married him, and have now left him, all in one year. I don’t know how to pick myself up anymore because I am… Read more »
Okay. I know the drill — from the perspective of recovery as a recovered alcoholic (since 1/10/1989). Yet, I have no clue and only see that I can no longer deny the long-term effects: raised by an abusive parent, a mentally ill parent, the years of living with a spouse who abused me, my child and even though I escaped that awful lifestyle, now my own adult child, and even a series of hostile bosses indicate, to me, now, just how far I have come while I have even further to go. There were indications that I ought to seek… Read more »
I found out two weeks ago that my boyfriend (long term relationship) was addicted to cocaine, and typically abused alcohol when high. I had no idea whatsoever about the cocaine usage, although I did recognize he could never ‘just have one or two drinks’. While he admitted himself to rehab over a week ago, which I’m very happy about and intend to support him the best I can, I feel overwhelmed and shocked. I am looking after his kids on weekends, dealing with his ex-wife (who is no picnic), taking care of all his finances and finalizing the renovation on… Read more »
Tonight I went to my, again, first meeting. I should not have stopped the first time 6 years ago but I got sucked in again to “Da Circle of Deception” that I believe time and time again. “I promise to… okay, I will commit to… I’m sorry for… I understand now…” and on and on and on and on. Okay, so now enough is enough. He doesn’t get it, he doesn’t understand my side of the fence, and Lord will he ever? Lived with it too many decades. Grew up in it, married it and then married it again. Time… Read more »
I’m worried about my grown son, who seems so angry all the time. He and his daughter are not speaking. She has a lot of his traits and seems very angry as well.
I feel I’m to blame for letting him down. We had a lot of problems when my husband and I were younger, with combining two families, and feelings got hurt.
I sure wish I could fix things.
I have been with my alcoholic husband for 25 years, and before that I was married to another alcoholic for 9 years. Their “styles” were so different that I didn’t recognize the alcoholism in my current husband. As you can guess, I’m no spring chicken but I am in generally good health and still have my sanity. I have been going to Al-Anon for about 29 years, but not always continuously. Living with my current alcoholic is like living with two different people in the same body – one is loving, responsible, affectionate, skilled, smart and caring; the other is… Read more »