Welcome to “First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery” from Al-Anon Family Groups. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.
Renee, Paula, Dick, and Edith are with us today. All are active Al-Anon members. They are willing to talk about what they wish they knew before they came to their first Al-Anon meeting.
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I don’t feel like I know where I belong with this. I have stopped drinking myself partially in support of my partner but also because I didn’t have a healthy relationship with alcohol. I didn’t drink daily and I never experienced withdrawal symptoms, but I was a binge drinker. I do feel that I am missing something and I would like to be able to better support my partner in AA.
Having these podcasts to hear when there is no Al-Anon meeting available, is reassuring place for me. I find myself needing to listen, it might be late at night, early in the morning that I need some Al-Anon. The Al-Anon program definitely guides me to keep taking care of me. Thank you
I have been in Al-Anon a long time and was wandering around the website today. What a great podcast! I agree with all that was shared in the interviews. I’ve been attending Al-Anon meetings for almost 20 years and have seen hundreds of lives transformed. If you are worried about someone else’s drinking, try at least six different meetings before you decide that Al-Anon is not for you. They are all different because people are different, but with the same problems to be sure. Al-Anon works if you put the effort in. If will be worth it-you will get your… Read more »
My husband is an alcoholic but of course he thinks he doesn’t have a problem and it is destroying me n my family
Thank you for these podcasts. I attended only one Al-Anon meeting probably three years ago at the urging of several older friends who were active members or had been years ago. I have two children and was completely exhausted with all that was on my plate. I just felt I had no more energy to go out to a meeting. I felt so frustrated and angry about having to even find myself in this predicament. I wanted a fast track to answers and did not return for a second meeting. My friends told me to give it a few times,… Read more »
I read all the entries. Nothing compares to a live Al-Anon meeting when you join a group in your home town. It helps you to learn from one another and express yourself. It is a life long learning process. And it will make each of us stronger, care for ourselves and love ourselves.
I am an alcoholic and a codependent rolled into one. I no longer drink and haven’t for years, but I continue in Al-Anon and it really is just one day at a time. There are all levels and kinds of alcoholics. For me, I am what you call a social alcoholic. Put me around it and I can out drink anyone. So I have to stay away from it. But even not drinking I am what they call a dry alcoholic, not drinking but still having all the characteristics and behavior of when I was drinking. That is why it… Read more »
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.
I’m very new to this program, and it sounds like I’m not the only one. I’ve recently started dating an amazing woman that I truly care for. She’s coming up on a year clean. I myself am not involved in recovery, I drink once in a while. I recently asked her how I can be more supportive with her recovery and to let me know if there is something that could possibly be a trigger for her, which thinking back on it now may sound a little weird. Anyway, it turns out the few times that I have had a… Read more »
I don’t know, I did not feel good after my first meeting. Maybe I need to try a different group. I do not understand the 12 steps. I felt like I was the alcoholic. I also don’t understand how ignoring will help. I don’t want to enable. I know he has to want to get help, but I feel like I am waiting for a car crash. He asked me to let him just quit, but I am afraid of just waiting. I want him to start the process. I feel waiting is just waiting for the inevitable. I also… Read more »
My real mom and dad drink. I have 2 brothers and 8 sisters, who I love.
I’m an alcoholic in recovery trying to love a girlfreind who drinks. I hope Al-Anon can help me.
This is my first time looking into anything like this. I am young, very recently married and fed up with feeling helpless. I am very hesitant, nervous maybe, about attending the meeting, opening up or crying in front of people. But it is time for me to put myself first. For the people like me that are nervous, I just think how much courage and time we put into getting this far, step by step.
What I wish I new about Al-Anon is: How does a non-alcoholic/non-addict begin to understand the dynamics of addiction, the real issue with enabling and co-dependence? When is behavior not enabling and when is co-dependence a natural part of a relationship? It seems to me that it is the natural cycle of a relationship, whether it is with a parent, a spouse, or a friend. It is difficult to divide the enabling from natural functions of the relationship, as well as co-dependence being a natural function of a relationship. I believe we (as a population) are too quick to point… Read more »
I wish I knew it wasn’t my fault and that I can’t stop my mom from drinking. I think that when I was around 12 my older cousin told me it was my responsibility as the oldest to keep my mom from drinking and that I need to find her alcohol. It’s such a relief to no longer carry that burden.
So, I guess it is time for me to go to a meeting. My final line has been crossed and I can’t take it anymore. My question is…….how can you live with an alcoholic when leaving is not an option?? Is it possible?? I hope this meeting helps.
My dad’s been in recovery (AA) for more than 40 years, and I’m going to my first Al-Anon meeting *ever* today. At first, I was hesitant about going. I’m a grown man and the alcoholism is long past. But I’m starting to see the hidden demons that make me hate myself. I realize (only intellectually, at the moment) that I can’t do this on my own. So in I go. The podcast helped demystify Al-Anon for me. Thanks for that. Wish me luck. If this helps like I hope it will, boy, am I going to have a lot of… Read more »
I wish I had known that Al-Anon was a program for people who wanted to get healthy, instead of enabling the same behavior out of their addicted loved one. It’s only been about 6 meetings, but it has truly allowed ME to start the road to my recovery. Robert’s feelings are the same I had: I was afraid to go. I thought it would really get my active drinker’s attention and, gosh, what would others say? Do I tell anybody? Well, sad to say, it didn’t get the drinker’s attention. I’ve been married over 27 years and I, too, don’t… Read more »
Al-Anon formed, if I am not mistaken, a year before my birth, 1951. Alcoholism is massive in my genetics, my father, all five brothers. I married an alcoholic; it goes on and on. To further complicate, enter mental illness to genetics and a mother whom I believe had a personality disorder and abused me and siblings nearly beyond comprehension. Not once would she allow discussion; I believe in her mind it simply did not happen. Depression at some level began early on; full blown bipolar began in early 40’s, after I married a second time. First marriage produced 4 beautiful… Read more »
Growing up with an alcoholic father and an enabling mother, I never knew how much I needed Al-Anon until I first entered the rooms. I never realized how truly sick I was. I was always feeling how the alcoholic felt and trying to “fix” them. What I really was doing was becoming worse in my addiction to other people, places and things. Al-Anon has helped to save my life over the past several years, especially. The acceptance of how devasting this disease truly is and the fact that it is a DISEASE and I did not cause it was a… Read more »