Welcome to First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery from Al-Anon Family Groups. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.
Today we have Erika with us. Erika is a member who was dating a young man who had a drinking problem before she came to her first Al-Anon Family Group meeting.
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I have been in relationship with my husband for 25 years. From the very beginning when we first met, his alcoholism was very evident. He told me one night that I had to choose between my daughter and him. I was married before and had a five-year-old daughter. I can’t get into the circumstances about her, but I was trying to get my daughter back with me and he told me to choose her or him. That’s when I said bye but I didn’t change my job and he came and found me at my job and promised me that… Read more »
This is my first time with Al-Anon. I want to help my friend get better, but at what cost to me? I have lost money, trust and time dealing with her faults. But she is sick and it will never get better if I sit back and watch her do the walk. I do not have the urge to know what she does in the closed meetings, but I will take all the chances to see what is going on in the open meetings. I do not want to be the one who seems to be nagging her to go.… Read more »
I have been married 30 years, and my wife is an alcoholic. But I never came to that realization until these last 3 months, as we separated at the end of December. There were issues within our marriage I hadn’t had the strength to address, and with my dad’s passing in May of 2010, well some things just fell into place, and I finally addressed the problems we were having last October. We went to counseling, but I felt that our marriage was over. But I thought it was what she wanted me to do. All this to say that… Read more »
I am a very new member to Al-Anon and we must be all kindred spirits. It might as well have been me who did this recording. This story is exactly like mine. I am learning each day with the help of Al-Anon how to deal with all these issues one day, one hour, one minute at a time. I need to focus on me, my anger. My goodness, am I angry. I don’t want to be angry anymore.
I have been with the same guy for six years. We have a three-year-old. He likes to drink every day and get very drunk. I think he finally realizes how bad it effects Everyone and Everything. He has stopped now for about a month. I honestly deep down inside fear the day he drinks again. I hope it doesn’t come.
I have been in a relationship with my fiance for over 3 1/2 years. He proposed two years ago, but we have never gotten married because of his addiction issues. Like many of your stories, he will sometimes admit he has a problem and other times say it is ok for him to get drunk as long as he is nice. This misconception comes from the fact that he has abused me physically about 4 times since we have been together, and mentally and emotionally countless times. When I first met him, I believed we were just young and social… Read more »
I have been married to a man for 2 years knowing he was an addict but in recovery, only to find out he has been doing drugs and pills for our whole relationship. We have a son and I have a son from a previous relationship. I walked in on him doing heroin in our bathroom and moved out the next day. Only to have his family blame me and threaten to kill me. He has threatened suicide and says he can only do this if I support him. He seems to think that 3 weeks is time to forgive.… Read more »
Hello, I have been in Al-Anon for 6 months know. I would not give it up for anything. I can see that I have been affected by alcohol and the desease of alcoholism. I can see that the program and the support offered at the meetings are making a difference in my life. I highly recommend this program . Be patient , for the results might not come instantly. All the Best, Burt
Al-Anon was recommended to me by my boyfriend, who has been sober for 18 mos. I took his advice and found a local meeting as well as buying Pocket Guide to The 12 Steps. I have co-dependent tendencies, so he thought it would be good for me. It will help me have a healthy relationship with myself as well as others. I focus too much on others and not on myself. I want to learn to refocus on my needs. I am learning that from my boyfriend.
I have been with my fiance for 4 years. Like most people, I didn’t realize he was an alcoholic when we first met. Being only 21 at the time, I loved going to bars with him and hanging out with friends drinking. I realized 8 months into the relationship, when he had fallen down a flight of concrete stairs and I was sitting in Intensive Care with him, that he was an alcoholic. After that experience, he quit drinking for 2 years. And things improved. Our relationship was great; we communicated well; and we were very much in love. Eventually,… Read more »
I have been with my partner for 3 1/2 years and living together for 2 years, and we have known each other for the last 16 years. Our lives took different paths. I married another man and we had 2 children, divorced, and he also had his past with his partners. The past 6 months have been pure hell, as he started to become a man that we didn’t know. He drinks at least a case of beer a day, and if that runs out, he’ll find whatever hard liquor there is in the house and drink that too. The… Read more »
I loved hearing this story, and reading everyone else’s. This makes me feel like I am not so alone. I attend Al Anon regularly, usually 2-3 times per week. I have a sponsor, and am working my 1st Step. Yet, for some reason, I always still feel so alone. No matter how many people I’m spending time with who care about me, at the end of the day I go home and I feel completely alone. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now, he is my first real love. I haven’t grown up around alcoholism, but I… Read more »
I am glad that these podcasts exist. My brother is a functioning alcoholic. I just realized it this week. He lives in Dallas. I knew he had family problems, a difficult marriage and a son on drugs. Also, he seemed never to cope well with the loss of our mother in 1995, after her 6-year bout with leukemia. My mother was my brother’s anchor. At some point either after her diagnosis or after her death, he began drinking to cope. He is in upper management at a company. His drinking doesn’t seem to affect his ability to work. He drinks… Read more »
When my fiance’ and I first got together, we used to drink together socially with friends. Then for some reason I just decided to stop drinking, except for maybe one drink every now and then. Well, last October he got a new job and his boss is a raging alcoholic. Ever since he started working for him, he’s started drinking more and more. At first it was just a few beers at night, then it gradually went up (to about a case a night), and he started drinking earlier and earlier. It’s now to the point where he wakes up… Read more »
I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 5 years now. He is a functioning alcoholic and problem gambler. We have an eight-month-old son together. Like most people, when I entered the relationship I didn’t realise the extent of his problems. It took me a year of living with him to find out he was in a large amount of debt. I only found out when I found an eviction notice and asked him about it. I struggle with worry, anxiety and feelings of hurt on a daily basis. Almost every night I fall asleep crying. More and… Read more »
Your story was moving. I am currently in that situation with this person whom I deeply care about who is an addict, and I am going to go to Al-Anon to get support. Thanks for your story.
I am in a situation where my husband is in rehab right now, and I am having a hard time being away from him. I need to learn how to deal with this and I also need to learn how to help him with his recovery. I have not attended an Al-Anon meeting yet, but I am very hopeful that it will be able to help me and my husband fix our relationship.
I have had an on and off relationship with the first man I feel in love with for now 10 years. We meet when I was in college and feel head over heels for him. During out first year of dating he told me he was a drug addict, but was in recovery. When I found out the extend of it, it was too late and he ended up in jail for drug related charges. Now most people would have left and ran off without looking back, however I was stupid and ran back to him right when he got… Read more »
I am a member of Al-Anon who has just discovered the podcasts and comments. I am very moved by the honesty of the sharings of you ladies on this comment thread. Let me offer you the HOPE of Al-Anon! As you can see from the stories shared here, we are all walking the same path. Thankfully Al-Anon offers us a way of living that we can embrace one day at a time, in any way that we are comfortable with. Others who have walked the path before us are waiting at an Al-Anon meeting to share with you their experience,… Read more »
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. It has been almost 2 years since he started drinking and doing prescription drugs. In Oct. of 2009 he was laid off and has had a hard time finding a job comparable to his last job. In December he started making comments about not wanting to be around anymore, that he was a loser and a crappy provider. On December 11 he came home from an AA meeting totally loaded and collapsed onto the bathroom floor, barely breathing. I had to call 911. He was hospitalized and placed into behavioral health… Read more »