What Al-Anon tools help you overcome fear?
Please share your experiences by commenting on the topic below. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
This month we’re asking you to share on what Al-Anon tools help you overcome fear?
Let go Let god, practice the tool and letter to god only
We were in the middle of a final descent when I noticed the familiar feelings of panic setting in. I’m not a white knuckle flyer, but it’s not uncommon for me to experience this during a flight. I combated the panic by reverting to a breathing exercise. Then a thought rushed through my mind. It’s become a mantra of relief in times of fear: God is in control. I don’t have to worry. I can let go. I immediately felt a sense of genuine serenity. That airplane ride symbolizes the very thing that steals my serenity: a lack of control.… Read more »
“Toolbox is Portable”
For years I have carried Al-Anon with me in some fashion or form. It is always on me or with me. Having a smartphone enables me to save many things to my cloud and reference as needed. I also carry many small sheets of papers tucked into my wallet pocket. I always have my Al-Anon ‘toolbox’ with me. It empowers me. Thus I share with others “my toolbox is portable”.
I was raised in an alcoholic home, I had very little self-esteem. I have never forgotten the time I was in the fifth grade, and I was asked to stand up in front of my classmates and give a talk. I tried and I couldn’t do it. I was so embarrassed. This was just one of my embarrassing fear-based moments. I was 52 when I started Al-Anon. I watched the new members come in and chair a meeting or share. And even though I had been going for 3 years I couldn’t do those things because of fear. There was… Read more »
“Just for Today”…I will relax and “Let it Be.” Serenity now…”accepting the things I cannot change” – my biggest obstacle, but if I take it “One Day at a Time” it brings me comfort. I am here in this moment right where I need to be. “Courage to change the things I can,” asking with every prayer “the wisdom to know the difference.” New coming to Al-Anon …old, worn, and sometimes defeated helicopter-mom.
“Just For Today” Just For Today I will be easy on myself. It has been two weeks now since I was laid off of work. As the days pass I become less inspired and motivated. I feel drained of knowledge and creativity.However, I am learning to become grateful for these feelings – it shakes things up and gets me out of my predictable routine. I must ask myself – what will I do with this break? Will I be productive and creative, or will I sulk in my feelings of depression and anxiety and sleep it away? I’ll be honest,… Read more »
“Let Go and Let God” “Let Go and Let God” – only five little words but how difficult they are to put into practice. One might think that holding on to something or someone would be more difficult, require more effort or more maneuvering but that is not the case. To let go, I need to accept that I have no power over the person, the place or the situation. To let go means I love you enough to let you make your own choices whether I believe they are healthy or detrimental to your well-being. To let go means… Read more »
I came to my first Al-Anon Meeting full of fear. I was afraid of my husband, I was afraid for my children, I was afraid that if the marriage fell apart I would not be able to take care of my children. I sat at that first meeting and watched the Al-Anon members before and after the meeting as they talked and laughed. So many of them were happy! I wanted what they had, because I was tired of being scared and sad. I kept coming back, and I listened. The first tool I used against my fear was meetings,… Read more »
Here’s a little different approach on the Serenity Prayer, it help me to release others.
God, grant them the serenity to accept the things they cannot change,
the courage to change the things they can,
and the wisdom for them to know the difference.
By replacing the word ‘me’ and ‘I’ with ‘they,’ ‘them,’ or their name it helps me to release them to the God of their understanding and helps me to lean into the God of my understanding and trust the process.
Fear I need to replace with faith. So, I need to have faith that there is a solution to my problems. I have been told in the rooms, in the literature, and from my Sponsor. That the Steps can give me the solution to any problem. I found myself needing to trust my Sponsor, this program, the Steps, members in this program that have gone before me, and a Higher Power of my understanding. All of that has led me to today. Today I am a Grateful Member of Al-Anon/Alateen. With the tools of the Steps, Traditions, and Concepts. I… Read more »
I learned about my fear of financial insecurity during my Fourth Step work. I live with active alcoholism and this used to escalate my fear the bills wouldn’t be paid… upon my understanding of my part I was able to talk with my husband. The mutual decision we came up with was adding up all our bills and splitting to cost. He is paid every two weeks and gives me half of the money he owes for the month the day he receives it. Then he can spend his money how ever he desires, even if he drinks it all.… Read more »
In my beginning years of Al-Anon I had so much anxiety from this disease. The group I belonged to and still do had a beginner’s meeting at the time. I decided to go and had the opportunity to share in the group I had a lot of anxiety and the chairperson at the time shared with me when she felt anxious she would read pages on fear and faith. I didn’t do it. I went to that same beginner’s meeting again and shared in the group I had a lot of anxiety. The same chairperson said the exact same thing… Read more »
The Serenity prayer is my go-to tool with which to measure all life’s challenges. By using the wisdom I have learned from other members in the fellowship and this prayer, I can identify which of these challenges are mine and which belong to others in my life. The Serenity Prayers then asks me to have the courage to address those challenges which belong to me and to leave those challenges which are not mine to their rightful owners.
Courage is fear which has said its Serenity Prayer.
Fear comes from events that genuinely make you afraid or cause you to feel unsafe. Sometimes, due to our history, our fearful reactions aren’t in proportion to the event. Sometimes they are. The biggest Al-Anon tool for me to determine what’s is actually true is telling my story and hearing others stories on a weekly basis in meetings. I find that when I speak what I’m fearful about, hurt about, worried about, the truth starts to emerge. Hearing others interact with that same story provides even more clarification. I come away from meetings with a better sense of how to… Read more »
A Quote from, Just For Today: “Just For Today I will be unafraid, Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and believe as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.” My life is so filled to the brim, a symphony of experiences, some resonant and others discordant. Some lessons I breeze through them and others I struggle with. I just had a beautiful experience in Los Cabos, Mexico. Paradise really, totally cared for and pampered. I thought if I was really rich… I could do this every day! Walking along the… Read more »
Thinking about the Serenity prayer. “God Grant me the Serenity.” This is Step One in action, this is about me letting go of outside influences. It’s about getting or having awareness of what’s going on around me. This is about embracing my powerlessness and learning how to be Okay with it. If I have learned anything in Al-Anon, I may be powerless but I am not helpless and I do have choices. Now, “courage to change the things I can.” For me, this means I need to look inward. I need to discover who I am and what part I… Read more »
Many aspects of the Al-Anon program help me to deal with fear in a more healthy way. But the most direct and specific tool for fear is when I turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power, and part of that is giving over the very thing driving my fear. Just the effort helps, but I’ve learned over time to keep doing it as often and as long as it takes. I know I’ve made real progress, and I’ve turned it over, not by getting some short-term result that alleviates the condition or thing stressing me out,… Read more »
Like someone else who posted to this blog, my worst fears grow out of isolation. So on reading this month’s topic, the first tool that comes to mind is attending meetings. It’s an incredible comfort to be in the company of others who express the same types of fears I’ve had, and who share how they found a way to calmness and peace of mind. Al-Anon has also taught me to make conscious choices about who I reach out to for help. In the past I reached out to people who also lived in fear, doubt, and distrust. When I… Read more »
When I came into the rooms of Al-Anon, I did not recognize that I was full of fear. Through the “loving interchange of help among members” I began to hear my story of how I reacted to the chaos of the family illness of alcoholism. My efforts to try and feel safe were efforts to control the uncontrollable. They seemed to work: being the good girl, disappearing during crisis’, getting busy trying to direct the other siblings in their lives so I didn’t feel my own feelings, seeking attention in self-destructive ways, and multiple other ways that became my way… Read more »
The Serenity Prayer is my first tool to go to. Step One, the Slogans “One Day At A Time” and “Let Go and Let God.”
I am in a very stressful situation right now and I have a lot of fear. I may lose my job and if I lose my job, I lose my house.
But I’ve been going to a lot of meetings. Talking one-on-one with Al-Anon friends. Sharing about the stress I am under.
My Al-Anon friends have been my number one tool of the program. I thank a power greater
than myself for that.