The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al‑Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Tradition 3. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
I love Tradition Three that suggests that I share and join with others when I need help or when I can offer help, this is mutual aid. Mutual aid opens my mind and my heart to others and this is what I needed, when I came to the program. I was very self-centered and self-righteous and this made for very unhealthy relationships. As mentioned in our documentation mutual aid means a spirit of cooperation and respect that could help me to learn to trust others, to accept them for who they are and to love them as they are. I… Read more »
When I first came to Al-Anon, Tradition Three seemed simple enough. This Tradition confirmed, that because I still had alcoholics in my life, I was eligible. It is after being in the program for a while that this Tradition took a more meaningful sense for me. Not only did the members share their strength, their experience and their hope with me, they also welcomed me as equal. I started to realise that not only did I belong to this fellowship, but I was “part of it.” I finally had my place somewhere and was accepted for who I was. The… Read more »
My daughter told me yesterday she has been in AA for twenty three years. She has attended meetings but has gone in and out of recovery many times over the twenty three years. She still criticizes me even though she is fifty years old. When we are together she goes over and over the mistakes I made when she was growing up. I try my best to just listen and then think about it later. If I think too much I just get depressed. Because of the pandemic I have not been to a real meeting in two years. I… Read more »
When it comes to judging whether there is a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend, I’m not the best person to ask. Sometimes I think one sip is too much for certain people and then I ignore the hangover of someone else just because I find them attractive. I’m not a doctor. I can’t tell the difference between brain injury, a medical or genetic issue, mental illness, addiction or some sort of phase people are going through. But nobody is going to check up the spectrum of alcoholism of my friends and family in Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, people… Read more »
I discovered Al-Anon while I was searching for a way to stop the alcoholic in my life from drinking. My “family” at that point consisted of people who made me feel worthless and invisible. Going to them for help and comfort with my situation was not an option. After much reading on the Al-Anon program, I decided to give it a try, even as scared as I was. I was angry at first that I had to suffer the burden of attending a 12 step program when I wasn’t the one with the problem, but I was desperate. As it… Read more »
Family? I don’t know these people! I’m just here to learn how to feel better and that’s it! Those were my thoughts when I came into program nineteen years ago. I didn’t know what afg stood for, and when someone shared and said this meeting was her family, I was shocked! Fast forward to 2020. With only electronic meetings, I started to hear ‘family’ more and more. People arrive at my Saturday morning meeting and greet the group with, “Hi Family!”, which brings smiles and laughter. More people have started greeting the group this way. I started reasoning that out.… Read more »
The 3rd Tradition is so valuable, and I think, has taken a bit of abuse lately. For much of last year, it seemed that there was an additional requirement: zoom participation. Happily, in person meetings have resumed where I live, yet our “latest” additional requirement is still going strong: masks must be worn. Yet, these “new” requirements, were not determined by Al-Anon! As people in recovery we try to be good citizens where we live. This means observing the policies of our state and local governments. Additionally we should follow the rules of our group’s chosen meeting place – or… Read more »
Tradition Three “…when gathered together for mutual aid ” There has been something powerful in my transformation because I have found my family, my true acceptance here in the rooms of Al-Anon. I felt so alone before coming to the meetings, like a shell of a person empty inside, lost and fearful. I thought no one could ever understand what I was going through. The fellowship has been magical, having people who can relate to my pain has allowed me to fully open up to my healing. It is through the darkest of times that I have seen the brightest… Read more »
I came to Al-Anon, because my life had been affected the alcoholism of few people. Although, I didn’t come through the doors jumping for joy, but I stayed because I finally met people who knew exactly what I was feeling and experiencing. We didn’t have the same circumstances and we didn’t all live these to a same degree, but we all experienced the same feelings. For me, this was a revelation and this is what kept me in the program at the beginning and this is what is still keeping me active in the program today. Since coming to Al-Anon,… Read more »
To stay or not to stay that is the question. When my husband passed away 10 years ago, well meaning family members asked me, “Why do I still go to “those” meetings still, since my husband passed away.” Without hesitation, I said, “I need my meetings more now than ever.” I guess they thought with his death, the effects of alcoholism would die with him. Alcoholism has had a strong presence in my life for at the 36 years of my marriage. But I came to realize it goes back further back to my childhood. I came into the rooms… Read more »
Since common or different ideas, togetherness, and sharing were not in my way of seeing things, Tradition Three had no meaning for me when I came to Al-Anon. I must admit that it took me a while to give any attention to this Tradition and see how it applies into my life. Today, I use it when faced with the realities of life or the down to earth events or situations that require cooperation. I have also learned to give consideration to others, thus creating healthier relationships. Living with alcoholism had tinted those very basic principles. Tradition Three has taught… Read more »