Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends on unity.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Tradition 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
Early on in my recovery my adult alcoholic son lived with me and my husband for a year. I hadn’t yet grasped the concept of detachment or the harm in enabling him. Then one day at a meeting I heard this Tradition and saw immediately how it applied to our family life. “Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.” It became clear to me that personal progress for the greatest number of family members meant I might have to set some boundaries that my son didn’t like, but were healthy for me… Read more »
When I joined Al-Anon I wanted to belong. Members joined into service readily. There seemed to be something “special” happening in serving the group. I didn’t understand why what long-time members meant. However, when service opportunities became available six months into my recovery, I found myself raising my hand and saying yes. I served as treasurer, literature person, secretary, speaker seeker, and even as a Group Representative. I heard about the Traditions, but had not studied or worked them with a trusted servant. Something was missing from my recovery. As with the Steps, I needed a Sponsor to reason my… Read more »
Tradition One speaks volume to me as it reminds me that I am not alone in this world and that my regards and respect must be given consideration to others at all time. Our welfare being our health, happiness and comfort, among other things, should be considered when interacting with others. If I want to move forward in my life and improve as a person this is great, but it can’t be done to the detriment of others. I can’t be only centered on myself and shut off the people around me. If I am in contact with others and… Read more »
I use Tradition One in my marriage. When we disagree I ask myself “How Important Is It?” If it’s important, in Al-Anon I’ve learned to stand up for what I need. If it’s not important, I go along with it.
Before Al-Anon I thought that our common welfare should be managed by me. I wanted to set the rules, I wanted to; needed to be in charge, in order to feel that I was an important part of my household. What I discovered in Al-Anon is that I was not allowing anyone else to have a say. I was taking away other people’s right to be an equal, important part of the household. I understand now that in order for my family to thrive, everyone must have their say as equal parts of our group. Our unity insures that everyone… Read more »
Among the many opportunities that Al-Anon offers me is to live in harmony with myself and with others. Tradition One leads the path to harmony by suggesting the creation of unity, this bringing myself and others to a shared state of health, happiness and comfort in our relations and in various situations. This can be done when I keep harmony and unity in all areas of my life: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Those four areas of my life have to be in balance to achieve unity. When one of those areas is «out of balance», the other three are… Read more »
Tradition One shows us the path to live in harmony and this suits me right. I lived in chaos for many years and it tired me, while getting me miserable and very often getting people around me miserable as well. Unity was not easily attained as I had and can still have a tendency to control and could want things done in a hurry and my way. I had to learn to moderate my actions and modulate my voice, so things can progress in a peaceful manner, in order to get the best interest of everybody concerned. Tradition One can… Read more »
Tradition One has been a lifesaver for me, especially this past week. Life is full of disappointments and challenges right now. I wish that wasn’t the way it seemed to me, but it’s the truth of how I’m feeling. The other day I didn’t want to get out of bed. I just wanted to stay under the covers and hide from the world. But right after having that thought, my program and Higher Power stepped in. A quiet question came to me: Isn’t your husband doing a difficult thing today, directly addressing a legal dispute with a neighbor? How much… Read more »
I used to think it was my job to run the family as a mother and the head home manager. I thought I knew what was best for my children, my spouse, my home, my work, my everything. I tried to do everything and ended up feeling perpetually exhausted and under-appreciated. The first tradition brings in the Concept of Unity. This means that I am not solely responsible for everything. It is appropriate to share the household work with others. It means to me listening to what others think is important and hearing what they need to enjoy home. I… Read more »
Continuing with Tradition One, there is nothing healthy or spiritual about complete self-absorption. So, in Al-Anon, we seek balance. By identifying the Spiritual Principles to be balance, unity, and equality. By applying these principles in all our affairs. We use them as tools to help us look at the common welfare of others in setting the boundaries we need to set. By taking care of yourself, you are allowing others to take care of themselves. Leaving you with balance in your life, treating them with dignity to do for them self. Allow both of you to be equal.