Tradition Eleven
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Tradition 11. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
At first I did not get the Traditions…they sounded like bunch of boring rules! Imagine my surprise when I realized with the help of my Sponsors and others in the program, that these are not rules but are things that help in my personal recovery. Attraction not promotion came up during one of my talks with my Sponsor. The love and acceptance we receive from other members rubs off on us and we radiate that joy and love that works through the program, we receive it and it bounces off to others. I’m not sure how it happens but it… Read more »
Tradition Eleven has been and still is a great teacher for me. I became more conscious of it, when I got into service. I promoted myself for years and since I was a gossiper, I promoted others as well. As for anonymity, in any areas of my life, I had none for myself or for others. I had no filters and said whatever came to mind. I ran into a lot of trouble and said things that I later regretted. I have forgiven myself since and I am working hard at not repeating the same errors. Today , after working… Read more »
Attraction to Al-Anon is critical; anonymity is more critical for me. I’m a little over 2 weeks from celebrating 25 years in Al-Anon and this Tradition tells me that there are other Traditions that talk about anonymity as 4 and 12 talk about this as well. Protecting newcomers’ anonymity has been critical for me, especially knowing it can be a matter of life and death knowing the active alcoholic will constantly be on the prowl to stalk anyone involved with Al-Anon. I’ve served in two different states and realize that, as my major anniversary is coming up, I know that… Read more »
Attraction means living a life which is compatible to my program so I don’t repel others from me! I am not laying bait for the program or doing a hard sell. I am just trying to be my best self and keep an open mind, hand, and ear for those who might want a bit of compassion, whether or not it is Al-Anon. As a Sponsor, attraction means modeling mistakes and struggles as well as triumphs so that I am not put up on a pedestal or taken for a guru. I do not want folks to follow my path.… Read more »
I didn’t quite understand this Tradition for a while, probably because I had not gained enough humility then and that appearances (promotion) still had some importance for me. To remain anonymous requires us to be humble and to understand the principle of being equal and this is what I had to work on before giving this Tradition the attention it deserves. Now, I understand the principle of attraction rather than promotion and this makes me realize the importance of my recovery and of working the program. There are days that I am not with it and that I am off… Read more »
I remember when I first came to program, I wanted everyone to get it. I wanted to shout from the rooftops. And could not understand why others didn’t want what I was so freely sharing. And so I got to learn about attraction rather than promotion. One time when my mother was upset with me, she said if you are an example of Al-Anon I don’t want anything to do with it. Ouch…. My mother never joined this program, but years later she would introduce me to people who could use my help…. What a change. I am not anonymous in the program. It is okay… Read more »
Tradition Eleven teaches me to be humble and keep the focus on the most important person in my life: me. When I look at myself and take care of my recovery I have a full time job, which keeps me from other people’s business. For too many years I was trying to solve other people’s problems in the process often creating chaos in their lives and in mine. I should have instead been minding my business and loving and accepting those people for who they were and where they were at. Today I can look at myself in all honesty… Read more »
Attraction rather than Promotion. This idea typically relates to attracting a newcomer to their potential Recovery. I think it is also relevant to attracting current members to their potential involvement in Service. I have heard members who are already involved with Service “promote” service. This can take the form of complaining about how much work is required for a particular project, with an emphasis on asking for still much-needed help. I have noticed that this approach is rarely effective. On the other hand, if I have fun with my service roles, it is fairly easy to invite others to join… Read more »
In the Program meetings, I am free of social pressures because of anonymity. The Program members do not judge or criticize other members. When I accept and respect myself “as is”, I find it easy to be humble. I realize that now my dignity is derived from the hard work of self-control, poise and listening more and talking less. The 12 Step Program principles helped me understand that I deserve to give myself respect, recognition and reward and not to expect it from others. For years, I emotionally bashed myself with guilt and shame and I had to work on… Read more »
In the 11th Tradition, I realized that I had to maintain my anonymity and respect the anonymity of others, and that everyone had privacy for themselves. And I realized that with the right behavior, I can get others involved in the program, not just by talking, maintaining anonymity for myself and other members of Al-Anon and AA, making Al-Anon a safe and useful place for anyone in need.
Tradition Eleven, when I first looked at it, told me to first improve myself. I had to find who I was and what I could become. The time to look at others, tell them what to do and how they could do it had to be over. Attraction rather than promotion! Later this Tradition also taught me to be humble when talking about Al-Anon, pick and choose who I was talking to about it and know when to remain silent and anonymous. I came to realize that I had my hands full just looking after myself and improving my life.… Read more »