Looking out the window one frigid February day, the scene before me was dull and colorless. Snow was flying, the ground covered in white, and gray, naked trees blew forlornly in the wind. I had just ended a phone call with my alcoholic son because one of my comments sent him into a rage. I felt bewildered, but I used my Al‑Anon tools to decide it was best not to engage. I know I don’t have to participate in hurtful behavior. I received dozens of text messages and phone calls from him after we hung up, and I finally made the choice to silence my phone.
When I looked out the window again, I was reminded by my Higher Power that prayer, Al‑Anon meetings, and literature could help me see that under the snow and dirt are flower bulbs that will soon break through with vibrant colors. “This too shall pass.” I can trust that green grass, leaves, and colorful blossoms will come.
Earlier that morning, I had attended an electronic Al‑Anon meeting. One of the readings was from page 85 of Courage to Change (B-16), which gave me a healthier perspective on my phone call with my son. It clarified who I am responsible to and what I am responsible for (myself) and who and what I am not (my alcoholic son). That one page was full of truths and fruitful wisdom that refreshed me in the midst of my loved one’s insanity. I am grateful to Al‑Anon for giving me the perspective to see a brighter color scheme for my life. Today, I will bloom where I am planted, knowing there’s help and hope in Al‑Anon.
By Joan K., Illinois
The Forum, February 2022
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
Thank you. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I went through many years of ‘struggle’ with my alcoholic adult daughter, rescuing/bribing/yelling matches, etc. etc. until I told her I would no longer be her emotional punching bag. I know longer listened when she was drunk and abusive calling over and over again. She knew about AA. I had grown up in an alcoholic home and her father, my ex was active. This time I did not feel selfish in putting my sanity first over her disease. I no longer accepted the blame for her life as I knew reality from her distortions. I did acknowledge where I could… Read more »
This is exactly where I am at with my alcoholic son! Thank you so much for the inspiration and hope.
Thank you Joan