Step Three
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 3. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
Step Three was and is still my favorite Step. When I came to Al-Anon, I had lost faith in God and I was not disposed to get back to any beliefs in relation with Him. However, the words “as we understood Him” was what opened my mind to the possibility that I could believe and trust God. I appreciated the fact that I could have my own understanding of Him, thus creating an image that would make Him accessible. I heard one member say, “I knew of God, but I didn’t know Him”. This made sense to me. I indeed… Read more »
When you realize you have no control over anything or anyone else Step Three is needed. Saying you turn your will over to God of your understanding is one thing, doing it is another thing. It takes practice and commitment. I realized part of this Step is acceptance. Accepting the situation, accepting people for who they are, and accepting I cannot control it. I’ve also learned to look for the blessing in the troubles. Once I get out of my own head, I can find the blessings. The blessings I found are a closer relationship with my Higher Power; focus… Read more »
Turning my will and my life over to God is definitely something that must be practiced (and with [the alcoholic], I’ve gotten a lot of practice). As I practice my trust, I am reminded that He loves [the alcoholic] even more than I do. Each day, I try to see the ways in which God is working in [the alcoholic’s] life, as well as my own. I am the mother of [the alcoholic] and the thought of potentially losing her to addiction is honestly too much to bear, as it is always a possibility. So, when I’m feeling that anxiety… Read more »
Step Three is my favorite and it has been from the beginning. When I read “as we understood Him” this drew my attention. When I came to the program I was not spiritually inclined. In all truth, I was mad at God and had great doubts that He even existed. Needless to say, I was far from being ready to turn my will and my life over to Him. I knew of God for all I had been told about Him in my childhood, but I really didn’t know Him and I didn’t trust Him either. That was that!!! As… Read more »
I think I really had to hit rock bottom before I could turn my will and my life over to God. But the day I did was the best day of my life. I was suffering tremendously; not sure if my life was worth continuing, to be honest. I sat in my car one morning ready to face another workday with my mind filled with what was going on at home. The out of control drinking, the fear that he would be dead when I returned home. The fear of returning home. I said out loud, “God, please help me.… Read more »
I think it can be hard if someone cannot understand the idea of turning it over. For me the thought of turning anything over was terrifying. As an all or nothing person it took some time for me to understand what Step 3 meant. There are days where I have to practice this step on a minute to minute basis and give myself a BREAK for being human. The fact that I am even willing to is such a gift. I can hold onto a piece of coal and mine it down to dust!!!!!!!
Why is this so hard? For years, I thought God was one of my parents, my husband, my boss or another human. Or God was my job, my body, my intellect or another attribute of my will. None of those are God. They are people who suffer as I do, or aspects of my own being, which is also not God. Recently, I turned my will and my life over to my job and my workplace, and this has gotten me sick and nearly disabled. So where do I go now? I struggle, but there is no place else to… Read more »
For me, the stress was coming from the decision I was wanting to make to leave my loved one to their own decisions and not clean up the messes anymore. What a relief (!) when Al-Anon said that was exactly what I should do!! Certainly, all had to watch dumbfounded for the next 4 years, but my life got so much better and I’m free from doing what others need to do for themselves. It was going to be horrible either way, but I saved myself. ‘One out of two ain’t bad’.
I just read a great reading in From Survival to Recovery about turning things over to a Higher Power. The story shared that the person had difficulty turning things over until they became a major problem. And then even after finally sharing their problem, not trusting a Higher Power with the rest of their life. I related to this because when I came into program I held tightly to everything until I just couldn’t stand it anymore and then I would surrender whatever the huge problem was to my HIgher Power. And things would turn out okay, may-be not as… Read more »
A friend in Al-Anon pointed out to me when I was new, “You turned your will and life over to the care of your alcoholic on (at least) a daily basis, look where it has gotten you – in al-anon with debilitating migraines, sick days off work, full of anxiety, isolating from friends and family, episodes of depression, etc. etc. She said, “Why don’t you TRY to turn your will and life over to the CARE OF a power that is greater than you, that only has your betterment in mind? Are you willing to try that?” She pointed out… Read more »
When I finally cried out to God saying please help me, I can’t do this alone, I understood the purpose of step 3. I was in desperate need of someone, something, to take over or I felt I was going to die; wanted to die. I thank God every day for answering me that day. I now trust God in everything I do and everything I go through. I understand that difficult times are opportunities for me to learn and grow. They are not a punishment nor meant to destroy me. Nowadays there are more good times than bad and… Read more »
Step Three talks to me about decisions and trust. Making decisions reminds me that I have the responsibility of my choices and trust gives me a sense of security. I love what this Step offers me and I appreciate what it implies, because I had difficulties with making wise and appropriate decisions and I had serious trust issues. Step Three gives me flexibility to make wise decisions, because I am turning my life and my will to my Higher Power, Who is much wiser than I am. This is something that I didn’t do before coming to the program. I… Read more »
Before Al-Anon, I was angry at God and said “How could there be a God if he let me marry an alcoholic, so there must not be one.” I turned my back on God for several years until I found the program. When I walked in and saw Steps and Traditions banners with God on them, I just focused on the slogan cards on the floor and it wasn’t until someone came up to me and said “If you don’t believe then just believe that I believe.” So I did that and eventually I found a Higher Power for myself.
There were 3 frogs on a lily pad. One decided to jump off. How many frogs are left? 3. Step 3 only asks us to Make a decision. We don’t have to do Step 3 perfectly all at once. Made a decision…helps me with this step.
I realize that when I get impatient for anything that I want and sometimes am upset about not knowing when something will happen in that regard, I can trust that I will receive it at just the right time. I have turned my will and life over to God and have faith that God knows exactly what I need. I can rest assured that it will happen at exactly the right time.
Step 3 has taught me that if I was willing to stop making everything about me things would change. HP is in the details. That when I go to meetings early, set-up chairs, made coffee and greeted people at the door that gave me just a few minutes of respite from thinking about me. That was the beginning of my surrender. My HP showed up in you, sounded a lot like my sponsor and occasionally like my husband.
Step 3 is hard for me.
Make me consider trust again and that make vulnerable.
I need to turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power each day because He is the one thing I know I can depend on and hold onto for dear life. Especially now. The Higher Power that I choose to call God, carried me through the doors of Al-Anon. He led me to my Sponsor and walked with us through the Steps. I picture myself holding His hand and swinging our arms back and forth whenever I am walking along the beach. During the depths of grief when I lost my mother, the first… Read more »
Learning to turn my will and my life over to the God of my Understanding was quite a challenge for me. I had learned while growing up in an alcoholic home to pray, but never to trust that things would work out well. Those first fearful steps were done with my Sponsor’s hand holding mine. She never let go, and she kept reminding me that I can make the plan; I can’t plan the outcome. That is where this Step came into play in my life. I made the first small plan when my husband found out I had been… Read more »
This Step was a turning point in my decision to stay in Al-Anon. When I came to the program my faith in God was at its lowest. I was raised with a punishing God and I felt that punishments well outnumbered the rewards in my life. I didn’t realize, at the time, the importance my “will” took in my life, this creating a lot of “punishments”, I was so distraught about. The second part of this Step “as we understood Him” got my attention. I realized that I knew about God, as I had heard many things about Him, but… Read more »