Step Nine
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 9. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
Many loved ones stood by, prayed, watched with heavy hearts, & to this day grieve our losses. I find that by keeping in close touch with these loved ones is a way that I make a kind of quiet amends. It is important to let them know that their prayers were not in vain, & that we are thriving in the place our Higher Power has placed us.
Step 9 was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Even though the previous steps prepared me for making amends, I knew some people would not be receptive and that scared me. Thank God I had my sponsor to talk me through it. She helped me understand that I did not need to run out and make amends to everyone at the same time and that I could choose which people to start with based on my comfort level. So I started out with people in my life who had passed away. I wrote them letters and… Read more »
Step Nine was important to me in my recovery. After doing the previous Steps, I knew that time had come to get rid of the guilt and shame that remained like a «small bad spot on a piece of clothing». I had done what was needed for me and made many things right, but now I had to make things right with others. I know that if I had ridden on my own power I would have never come to do this Step. I asked my Higher Power to guide me in the process and He did. In Step 8,… Read more »
Step Nine is a Step I was not looking forward to, when I looked at it upon being in the program for a short time. My false pride was getting in the way and fear of being judged or condemned by those people I was to make amends to were two obstacles that were blinding me to it. However, as I went through the preceding Steps, they eased up the way to get me to this point where Step Nine has its reason to be. One thing I had to remember was to keep it simple. Being a person with… Read more »
When I first came to Al-Anon and was introduced to the Steps, I was uncomfortable and almost stopped coming. The Steps as a group were daunting and I couldn’t think of how I was going to accomplish such a task. Step Nine was particularly scary. After attending meetings for a long time, I finally realized that I needed help getting through it all. The best Sponsor for me took me under her wing, did some arm twisting, and probably saved me and my program. Slowly we got up to Step Eight. When I made my list I soon realized that… Read more »
Step Nine seemed almost impossible to do until I had gone through the eight preceding Steps. Then it made sense and being ready was easier. What I had to watch for was making sure that I didn’t take some names off the list I had made in Step Eight. I had spent a lifetime finding excuses, so trying to find some excuses as to why I shouldn’t do it could have been a fairly easy task. I had to ask for my Higher Power’s help in the process. I wanted to make sure that I made my direct amends when… Read more »