Step Four is one that seemed scary, when I first came to the program. After a while, I understood its necessity in order to continue to recover in the program and giving myself the maximum of chances to become the better person that I could be. How could I grow if I didn’t get to know who I really was? By making a moral and honest inventory of myself I could uncover who I was and why I was this way. I came to realize that I was God’s child and that He loved me no matter what. However, I… Read more »

For me, Step 4 was the moment when I pivoted from focusing on what the alcoholic loved ones in my life had done/were doing and started focusing on what MY behavior and MY obsessions and MY habits were contributing to my life and my relationships. Having a sponsor who made sure I looked at character assets as well as character defects kept me open to being searching and fearless. I needed to see the good in balance with the not so good in order to be brave enough to look at aspects of myself I had spent most of my… Read more »

Step 4 allowed me to see that I had good qualities; not just character defects. When I started working this step I wrote a long list of negative things about myself. I felt as though this step was to show just how bad a person I was and what I needed to do to fix myself. I did not understand at first that I was to also list the good things about myself. This was not supposed to be an exercise in how to get rid of all of the bad things; it was an exercise in showing that although… Read more »

My 4th Step and my moral and character defects are so apparent. I have to either be aware of them after an interaction or to fight my ego during any transaction, with everybody, even with my mind’s constant chatter. Reminding myself daily of my ego faults or every minute, even every second, helps me to stop that ego dysfunction craziness and to find serenity and I can return to our common Higher Power. Abiding and walking in God’s presence is key for my peace. Walking in God’s presence has made the Al-Anon program make more sense to me. Applying the… Read more »

Step Four … Well, I got the searching and fearless but moral stumped me because I grew up in an emotionally and spiritually unhealthy alcoholic home. The morals could certainly be questioned. The Fourth Step did not ask me to change anything. An inventory doesn’t change things. My inventory is only a story of my feelings and actions from the beginning. Working this Step meant I had to become willing to trust the God of my understanding to see me through the painful process of … discovering the truth, separating my feelings from facts and my self worth without judgment.… Read more »

There are several lessons I learned the first time I worked Step Four. The usefulness of a personal inventory is one of them. I learned to pause and objectively list the facts of a situation as soon as I notice I’m beating myself up over a perceived mistake. If I catch myself jumping into guilt in response to someone else’s behavior, I use the tool of the inventory to get a more objective perspective. Perhaps the most important lesson for me is what is meant by a “fearless” moral inventory. My first attempt at a list of my assets was… Read more »

Step Four scared me. I was afraid to take an honest look at myself because I was convinced I wouldn’t like what I would find. I felt like I was a terrible person who had awful flaws. All I knew is that I didn’t want to continue feeling this way, I had to push past the fear. My sponsor and I did our Fourth (and Fifth) Step together using the second edition of Blueprint for Progress. We began by doing the self-assessment checklist at the back of the book. It was evident that I didn’t think very highly of myself.… Read more »

Step Four was a road block, when I first look at it. The road to follow was there for me, but I was putting the blocks: fear, false pride, low self-esteem, doubts, etc. I also had a long list of excuses for not doing it: no time, not quite ready, no specific way how, etc. However, I came to a point when the discomfort of being how I was, and not having answers as to why, was unbearable. This is when I knew that doing Step Four could not be put off anymore. I looked at the word “moral”, as… Read more »

“Made a fearless and moral inventory of ourselves.” The fear and/or anxiety or inability to say and do what is best for me, not having the courage and self esteem along with confusion and automatic habit of looking outside at others instead of finding me. I continued to pray to God and search within myself and ask myself how does this feel for me and talk to God and my Sponsor about it. I remember why I take my inventory to find what has been causing me pain and what and how I can feel different by seeing myself and… Read more »