Step Eleven
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 11. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
I was attracted to my ex-husband’s “self confidence” which I now realize was “emotional unavailability”. I now see it reflected in my “unavailability” to my Higher Power. I was wrapped up in fear so could not hear the guidance, support, and grace she provided. I was trying to “go it alone”. This was the family pattern of generations of women before me. I broke the pattern by coming to Al-Anon and learned I have choices. I choose to practice Step 11 each day. Sought through prayer and meditation to strengthen my continuous, conscious contact with God as I understand Him.… Read more »
As a long time Al-Anon member, I recently relocated to out of State to ‘age out’ affordably and each of the 12 Steps guided my path along the way – Step 11 – Each day I find my character tested while I’m in conversation with others in my new surroundings. I work infrequently but for the same employer as my State of origin. I visit my relatives nearby often and get a lot of emotional support from them especially during Holidays when I’m far away from my family of origin. My spiritual life has been enhanced by my church community… Read more »
The first word of Step One of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon Family Groups (adopted from Alcoholics Anonymous) is “we.” The Steps that follow imply that “we” came to believe, “we” made a decision, etc. At the same time, we are free to determine how to progress through the Steps. Many members consider the fellowship as a “we” program in the sense that members gather in meetings to share personal experience, strength, and hope in solving our common problems. On our own, we are left with our own distorted thinking, without insight to other interpretations to offer and consider new… Read more »
Curious. I find it intresting that this step says ‘us’ rather than ‘me’. Not a deal breaker, for sure, but curious.
Can anyone explain the nuance for me?
It is such a relief to have God to turn to instead of trying to control everything myself. I have peace in my life now. I don’t find myself struggling so hard because things don’t go the way I think they should go. I can relax knowing that God is in charge. All I need to do is pray to understand his will for my life and to follow his guidance once I do understand it. I no longer fight with God or tell him what to do. I talk with him and I listen for his response. He never… Read more »
When I first came to the program, Step Eleven didn’t speak to me. I was not praying anymore and meditation had no meaning for me. As I did the preceding Steps, Step Eleven got some of my attention. I knew about prayer, as I was saying the Serenity Prayer, but meditation was still on the back burner. I am grateful that, with time, I had God in my life and that having a more conscious contact with Him was something I was comfortable with. Meditation seemed a little “bit much” for me, but I was willing to consider it. What… Read more »
This Step was difficult for me at the beginning because I was raised to believe that God is a punishing God. I did not understand how to improve my relationship with a God who wanted nothing to do with me except to punish me for my wrongs. But I am very grateful that by working the program, my relationship with the God I believe in now, is very different. I believe he only wants good things for me. I believe he wants to help me, comfort me, and guide me. I pray every day for help in accepting his will… Read more »
After 14 years as an Al-Anon learner, I have just this year had a revelation, an Aha moment, dare I call it “a spiritual awakening”? Why yes, I must, because I feel as if I’ve finally awakened to Step 11! I thought I understood this Step because, after all, I *was* introduced to God as a child, and taken to church by my parents, taught to thank God before meals and say my bedtime prayers. But as a grown-up working to live life on life’s terms I did not understand at all how to have a truly personal relationship with… Read more »
From an early age I struggled to understand what I was taught in Sunday school about a man sitting on a throne above the clouds ruling the universe. By the time I joined Al-Anon in my 20s, I felt angry at god and rejected god’s influence in my life. I believed that god dug a trench in the ground, set me in it and said, “This is your life. Go live it!” God did not answer my prayer to make my spouse stop drinking. When our meeting studied Step 2, someone asked why prayers were not answered. The answer was,… Read more »
Who is God as I understand Him. Working thru the Steps and years of daily exercise of Step Eleven in my life has been the foundation of establishing my intimate relationship with God. Today I see Him, personally know Him, and I can feel His presence when I am in conscious contact with Him. My deep ponderings of Him, then become the groundwork for my internal view of all my outward experiences, with a changed perspective, a changed attitude, and deeply rooted gratitude that He is doing for me what I cannot and could not do for my for myself… Read more »
It took me a while to get to Step 11 because, although prayer was part of my life after a short time in the program, I had some trouble with meditation. I had the wrong idea of what meditation was, thinking that I had to sit for 10 minutes without moving. For me, because I have a light Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), it was impossible to do so. It took me a while to grasp the concept of meditation, as it could be applied and personalized in our program, according to my understanding of my Higher Power. Today, it still… Read more »
Like so many others before me, coming into Al-Anon, I was spiritually broken. I possessed no faith in a loving Higher Power, believed in nothing but suffering, and was under a cloud so dark that I couldn’t see a light at the end of that proverbial tunnel even if it was shining like the new day sun. I think back now on how scary that was for me to have lived life in complete darkness. I am almost 2 years into my journey with Al-Anon and I can tell you that it hasn’t been an easy one. The first thing… Read more »
Regarding Step 11 . . . Lately I’ve been thinking about a Higher Power, not as a person, or a thing, but as a space and a perspective. To me the “love larger than I know” is what happens in rooms where we gather for spiritual fellowship. It is the shift in perspective that happens there when, rather than being solely an individual, I am part of community, because I have shifted to quiet attention. This is why Al-Anon and 12-Step Groups work for me in a way no other religious practice or belief does. So god… Read more »
I have recently discovered that it is helpful for me to apply the spiritual nature of Step 11 to the practical matter of personal self-care. I have realized that the God of My Understanding wants for me to get good sleep, and wishes I would make smart choices about what to eat, and wants for me to do what I can to be strong and healthy. I believe these things are part of God’s will for me. If I am consistent with prioritizing my own self-care, then I am doing my part to best be able to carry out my… Read more »
I chose to share on this step because this month I celebrated the 40th anniversary of walking into a meeting and deciding Al-Anon was for me. With my Anniversary in November, quite frequently I have gotten to lead on this Step. It is one of my favorites. Step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. I believe that this is a step that I was able to use at any time, BUT, it truly came… Read more »
Before I came to Al Anon, I prayed, but my prayers mostly consisted of me telling God what He should do! Along with plenty of helpful suggestions about how and when He should do it. My praying back then was often just another attempt at control. If I couldn’t get the alcoholics in my life to straighten up, surely He could, if I could only find the magic words to get Him to act! I’m so grateful that through Steps One, Two, and Three, I can now practice turning my loved ones over to God’s care. I can turn myself… Read more »
Over the years I have come to love Step Eleven and apply it into my life every day. However, when I first read it I was not impressed by what was asked of me. I could pray, but I knew I had to change my concept of prayer. My prayers in the past had been a «demand» and a «do it my way». As for meditation, at that time, it was a waste of time. Today, I understand that praying is talking to God. I also know that my Higher Power, as I understand Him, can listen to my prayers… Read more »
Having done the first 10 steps, I do have a conscious contact with the God of my understanding. It is my God of my understanding that I want to improve my contact with. This is what I love about this program. God can be whatever I profess him/she/it to be and we can all have our own understanding. Prayer is asking and meditation is listening. The 11th step tells us what to prayer for…’only for the knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.’ We pray to ask God to show us His will for… Read more »
It is such a relief to Let Go and Let God. I no longer feel the need to be in charge or to take control of everything. I feel free when I allow God’s will in my life. After suffering so long with a need to fix everything and never fixing anything, it feels wonderful to have God take control. I feel rested like never before as have learned to rely on him and to let him help me. I now know that I don’t have to travel this journey alone. And that is what Step 11 is all about… Read more »
I recently discovered a really helpful prayer. I won’t copy it here because I know there are rules about posting excerpts from Conference Approved Literature. It can be found on page 15 of the Alateen booklet on Detachment (P-73). I have really gained a lot from the Alateen literature, once I became open minded enough to consider it. When I say this particular prayer, I do have one small “edit”. Between the end of what is printed, and the “Amen”, I insert the single word . . . “today”. I have already found it to be helpful on a daily… Read more »