Reclaiming My Life

When I first walked into Al‑Anon, I couldn’t speak. I only cried. My life was unmanageable. What I was doing wasn’t working, and I was in complete denial. I was yelling, crying and pouring liquor down the drain. I was angry and desperate, and I experienced turbulent mood swings. Coming to Al‑Anon was a desperate cry for help. Living with an active, chronic alcoholic husband for over 15 years had left me emotionally and mentally beaten. Here in Al‑Anon, though, I learned how to take care of myself. I no longer dislike myself, nor do I live in a sea of despair. My recovery has been a gradual one of awareness, acceptance and change. I’ve learned to expect ups and downs and that it can take years of humility and learning.

I’ve recently decided to invest in a new future and reclaim my life. I’ll plant the seeds of new hopes and dreams. My garden of new hopes and dreams will not be decided by my marital status. Instead, I dream of being more in touch with my family. My goal is to not wallow in self-pity, but to appreciate everything and everyone that I have in my life. I now realize that I do have strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone else and that I can ask for help if I need to. Finally, I can accept things as they are without trying to recapture the way they used to be.

By Nicole S., Manitoba

2018-03-28T15:08:32+00:00March 28, 2018|Categories: Alcoholic Spouse or Partner, The Forum|

35 Comments

  1. Cassandra August 2018 at 1:18 pm

    My husband’s drinking has just recently become out of control, to which he admits. He was once a loving, gentle and kind soul, and now he is consistently angry at me and lashing out. He has completely closed himself off emotionally. At night he will start drinking by himself in another room until he passes out, while I spend time alone. He takes the kids to sporting events and everyone says what a great father he is, but he gets in the car afterward and drives them home while intoxicated. We went away for a trip last week, and I woke at around 2am to find him huddled in the hotel room drinking alone. When I presented him with the facts and laid out what the last few months have been like, he admitted that this was bad behavior and said he would stop. It’s been 2 nights without a drink for him. Then this morning we had a huge fight because he said I was trying to mother him. That he’d slow down but he had absolutely no intention of quitting. I’m heartbroken. Devastated. Where is the man I married? I’m so confused. I am considering filing for a legal separation from him. He is aware of this and is ok with it. It looks like he’s choosing alcohol over his family.

  2. Frankie August 2018 at 11:38 am

    I have often wondered why good girls fall for bad boys. Now that I find myself in this situation I still wonder what made me fall for him. I will say that when he is sober he is a very kind, gentle, and God fearing person. But all of that changes when he drinks. It’s like he’s possessed. He becomes hurtful, hateful and abusive-physically and emotionally. He cries the next day when he sees the damage he’s done.

    His family will only say that he is just having a good ol’ time and that it is a problem for me because I choose not to join him in drinking. According to them, when you are drunk everything is funny and excusable. I hate his family.

    He knows he has a problem. His father drank himself to death. Most siblings and relatives have DUIs. One even went to prison for intoxication manslaughter. His brothers and himself, all have health problems due to drinking, but do they stop? NO.

    I’ve told him a number of time that I was so much better off without him. And it’s true. I had money, peace of mind, friends and hobbies I used to enjoy. Now I am close to 40 thousand in debt, no hobbies, and no longer have opportunities to be with friends. Too busy babysitting him.

    I am an attractive, college educated professional. What the hell happened to me? And, why am I still with him?

  3. Lisa L. August 2018 at 10:47 pm

    I went to 4 Al-Anon meetings. I’m talking with a weight counselor and exercising again. Reading the literature and meditating before sleep at night. My functioning alcoholic husband of 34 years is thrilled I’m not on his case about drinking and is for the millionth time..”cutting back” on his drinking but has added pot smoking to his addiction. Refuses to stop, denies he’s an alcoholic, turns all our problems around to being my fault. SO tonight I walked in to my meeting place went to the bathroom and walked out again. I’m feeling so defeated and tired of always being the one trying to change. I came home and started reading this. Its all so overwhelming.

  4. Myrna July 2018 at 1:22 pm

    Now I see! Thank-you, all. I just want to stop crying and feeling so angry. I miss life and having a partner to share it with. My husband was an alcoholic, then quit until he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, then he became addicted to hydra-morphine, then his family decided once he was weened off the pain killers that he should have marijuana products, so now a whole new party. I get the brunt of his hate. He beat the cancer, but now has severe glaucoma. So no job and gets to stay at home, yeah. I told him to get a hobby besides picking on me. Oh well, must find a meeting. Your stories have helped me so much, you’ll never know how lost I was without any light. This at least has given me hope.

  5. Galr June 2018 at 2:57 am

    The significant men in my life, starting with my father, were all veterans of war. Both my father and now my boyfriend, sustained life long injuries resulting in debilitating daily pain.

    Both men chose to self medicate with alcohol. Both were able to maintain a fairly high level of competence in their professional lives. Alcohol consumption was a scheduled event until they reached retirement.

    Once retired the drinking became central. There was no need to schedule drinking, drinking became the main focus.

    My father was a mean and verbally abusive drinker. I never confronted him about his alcohol abuse because I felt sorry for him. I felt he was in such discomfort from his war injuries that drinking was one of his only solaces. I was constantly afraid of upsetting him and setting him off.

    Eventually after several years of retirement and unbridled drinking he had a stroke leaving him paralyzed on the uninjured side of his body. He lived another 4 years in a V.A. hospital, sober. He died from congested heart failure.

    My boyfriend has now recently retired and now he feels free to drink and smoke marijuana any time to alleviate the pain. He is quite proud of the fact that he doesn’t take opiates.

    Again, I feel sorry for him too. For a lifetime of pain and suffering from a military incident at the tender age of 18.

    I make excuses for my boyfriend’s poor behavior, out bursts and drunkenness. He’s in pain I’ll reason. And at least he’s not addicted to pain medication.

    Yet, I feel so sorry for him as I did my father. If only they hadn’t been hurt and damaged what wonderful men they could have been.

    I recognize that this is a familiar pattern for me. To care take of and love these broken men. And to resist critical judgement, surmising that their pain was greater than me. After all, their pain was overwhelmingly real.

    I will be going to my first al-anon meeting when I get back from a visit out of state with my daughter. I need to figure some things out, and I am powerless to do it on my own.

  6. Jenn June 2018 at 11:38 pm

    I have been married 17 years. The madness of living with someone who has this cunning, baffling, and powerful disease runs deep. I had not realized how profoundly me and my kids were affected by my husband‘s illness. He recently screamed divorce at me again about three months ago but I have been going to Al-Anon for four months. This time I heard what he said and believed him. That does not mean the path ahead of me will be easy. In fact I expect an uphill battle as I attempt to brave the waters of becoming a single mom. But, those waters will be something I can maneuver because I am no longer attempting to Carrie and anchor. I’ve dropped the anchor. My husband is free to live his life the way he sees fit. But through Al-Anon I have realized that I no longer have to hang around sick people. With the help of my Al-Anon friends and my sponsor along with the help of a couple of key professionals, one day at a time I am attempting to cut a new path standing on my own 2 feet, for the betterment of myself and my kids. Thank God for Al-Anon. Thank God for the first three steps. Go to as many meetings as you can in 90 days. When your ass is on fire, this program works. It’s time for me to look at the past, see the patterns, and make wiser decisions for my future based on reality. I am no longer in bondage to denial.

  7. Sandy June 2018 at 2:44 am

    I just recently divorced my husband who is an alcoholic. I have never dealt with alcoholism or alcoholism to this extreme ever in my life. I am financially in bad shape from it as well. I am mentally worn out. He wants to reconcile and tells me he will die without me. He says he cannot stay sober without me. He had tried to be sober but relapses I had enough of verbal abuse and being constantly embarrassed by his being drunk and passing out at family functions or driving my car while drinking. I still love him but cannot live this way anymore and feel so much guilt for our divorce because he has made me feel responsible for his sobriety. He threatens suicide and jumping on a train track or driving off a cliff crazy stuff so I will talk to him and tell him I will go back with him. It’s been a nightmare and I am trying to reclaim my life. My kids worry for me and I want to be able to live my life not feeling responsible for what he is doing. He also has been diagnosed with cirrhosis and threatens to drink himself to death. I pray every day for strength to keep going on and being strong. Thank you

  8. Barb May 2018 at 12:01 am

    I am now divorced from my alcoholic ex husband. He suffers depression and self treats with beer and marijuana. I tolerated it for years because I felt like I had to. As the years went on he emotionally and verbally abused me and it only worsened with each passing year. The end came when I demanded to know what he was spending $800 a month on. He of course told me it was none of my business and said he wanted a divorce. I didn’t need to be told twice. I filed for divorce in November of 2015 and my children and I moved out. He was surprised the day we were moving out and asked if I was leaving him. Duh!! Our youngest is 16 and had a good relationship with him for years but now refuses to see him or talk to him. He still controls my life and it is affecting my job. I have to end his rein and take care of me. There’s my problem, I don’t know how because I have spent so many years taking care of him and everything else that I lost me. He repeatedly puts me in a financial bind because he won’t pay his share of our child’s school activities as it says he must in the divorce. He makes good money and has a company truck and cell phone and company credit card for gas and no car insurance payments yet claims he doesn’t have any money. He drug the divorce out til April of 2017 for no other reason than he could. He can still drive me to the edge of utter insanity and I hate myself for allowing him to do it. How do I get past this? How do I take back my life? We were married over 25 years.

  9. Kendyl May 2018 at 1:45 am

    Hi, I am new here. My husband has been in AA for 4 years but has relapsed on marijuana and is back in the program for that. I have felt alone the past 1.5 years and have isolated myself from my friends and family because I’m embarrassed, ashamed and sad all the time. I don’t want to leave because I love my husband. He has been extremely emotionally abusive and everything I say or do is wrong in his eyes. I am starting to doubt myself and feel like it is my fault. I am at a crossroad and don’t want to be sad all the time but I can’t bring myself to leave.

  10. Jason May 2018 at 12:09 am

    I have a wife that I love and is an admitted alcoholic. I have recently discovered that she and a study partner (she is back in college at 38) were exchanging texts and FB messages while drunk and high, claiming they were in love with each other. I have known my wife is an alcoholic for several years. She blacks out and you don’t know what will happen. I know she only “emotionally” cheated when she was drunk and when she was sober she apologized and always apologizes after a night of drinking and acting wild and embarrassing. I am hoping to attend my first meeting next week. My wife is trying to stop drinking and I want to help. I am hoping these meetings can assist me with my marriage.

  11. Joyce May 2018 at 11:11 pm

    I’ve been married 33 years and of those 33 years I thought I was dealing with a husband who had severe PTSD from being in Viet Nam. However in 2015 he went off on me verbally for 3 straight days. Always when he goes off on me he’s been drinking and he always threatens me with divorce. Something inside of me broke and I just couldn’t get the same love, hope and trust going again. I started going to a counselor that also treated PTSD patients, both active duty, retired military and their families. After about the fourth session and me asking during each session for help to deal with these outburst of rage caused from his PTSD she said to me, “what he’s doing to you is not because of PTSD, yes it sounds like he has PTSD, but he’s controlling you with intimidation, manipulation and humiliation which is what alcoholics do to continue their alcoholic lifestyle”. WOW!!
    I finally left and filed for divorce in December 2017.
    I would highly suggest to anyone who is still in their marriage to an alcoholic to start going to Al-Anon meetings and open AA meetings. Get help for yourself, get a home group, get a sponsor, go to as many meetings as you can even if it is not with your home group, read as much Al-Anon, Al-Ateen, and AA books and literature as possible. Al-Anon also has podcast for newcomers that you can pull up and listen to on your phone and there is also a magazine called the Forum that you can subscribe to from the Al-Anon website. Because if you’re going to stay with an alcoholic you need to bond with those that can help you to love and care for yourself and they truly understand like no others ever can. I wish I had known who to turn to years ago and maybe I could have saved my marriage.
    Please reach out for the help you need, because the alcoholic is only concerned about themselves and their ability to obtain alcohol to drink. They are sick and emotionally hurting, but they are also the only ones that can seek the help they need to cure themselves – it is like no other disease where the patient is the one that can cure themselves. Nothing you ever say, do, or don’t do will ever make a difference to them. From what I understand most have to hit their rock bottom and you may actually be prolonging their alcoholism by trying to help them, protect them, protect yourself and your family image and all the other ‘coverup’ nonsense that is really exhausting you to your limits.
    All I can say is get help ASAP, don’t walk, run to an Al-Anon meeting, I drive 30 miles one way to go – it’s worth it.
    Take care of yourself, it will be the best source of help to the alcoholic and of course to yourself.
    Peace and love!

  12. Pete May 2018 at 1:12 pm

    I have been living and married to my wife for almost 7 years. Early on it was random or not as often with the drinking and abuse mentally, emotionally, and physically. But now it’s whenever she drinks which is everyday when she gets home from work and starts about 10am-11am every weekend day. I am worried for her health, our future, and my safety. She is the greatest person in the world and I love her to death and I don’t want to ever stop trying to help her or be with her but her drinking is ruining our lives. We can’t go out to eat at restaurants cause she is sloppy, acts wild, says things she shouldn’t and also makes a scene whenever she is angry or doesn’t get her way. I am constantly thinking about not making her mad. Last night we were back in our old neighborhood we haven’t been too in like 4 years to get some Italian food at our favorite restaurant. She made a scene so we left and she continued to scream in the car like a child the way home cause she was mad… this is not even the worst of it. She drives drunk, she lashes out, passes out, doesn’t help with household chores, walking the dog, paying bills, hits screams punches me, breaks my stuff, throws my watches, breaks out Mac Airbook, the list goes on and on. I can’t live with her but so hard to imagine not living with her. When she doesn’t drink, which is very rare, she is so loving, nice, friendly and caring. When she drinks she turns into a little Tasmanian Drunk Devil and no one can talk to her or reason with her. I am at my wits end and I have told her many times I want a divorce or to stop drinking and she doesn’t. Her family is useless in that they refuse to say or talk to her about it and how it affects other people. She is 29 and acts like she is 19. When will she ever grow up and stop being an abusive alcoholic I don’t know. But when we get back from NY from visiting family I am going to attend my first meeting. I have no one to talk to culture I don’t want my friends or family to judge her or think less of her. I just wish she would realize how much she is killing us and how unhealthy it is. She is barely 90lbs and she drinks at least 8 shots a night. I don’t know what to do anymore…

  13. Marilou B. April 2018 at 9:40 pm

    My alcoholic husband is functioning and goes on binges. Over our 34 year old marriage he’s had many types of drug abuse. I can’t begin to tell you the unhappy life I’ve lived with him. I have always tried to “HELP” him. We have had a very volatile relationship. We have never been emotionally connected. I will own the part I played in it. Unfortunately my husband just won’t. It’s everybody else’s fault. He’s gone out on me, he’s told everyone in his family and my family off. But he doesn’t know why nobody likes him. I finally told him I’m staying because I can’t afford to live on my own. Of course he’s on his best behavior now but I knew this will come to an end. It’s a pattern I know so well. Al-Anon has taught me to not play the victim but start loving me and putting myself first.

  14. R D. April 2018 at 11:53 am

    Wow. Piece many of the stories together and that has been my life for the last 7 years. I to have to deal with the impact of what an addict has done to our family. We have an 8 year old and the majority of the life she remembers is a mother who is a total wreck and a dad who is in a constant state of distress trying to keep it all together. Our little one has actually seen her mom arrested a few times. Picked her up drunk at school, drank while she was in the car, all of the bad. Recently my wife has gotten sober because she hit the point of rock bottom when our child actually confronted her about it. So… now I am at the point where there is no chaos and I am so anxious and/or angry about everything I believe I need help myself. I realize I am still waiting for the inevitable fail and excuses I have seen in the past and I do not even know if that is fair to my wife. Or me or our child. But I made a promise to our daughter. I am doing what I have to to get myself straight and keep her safe and happy. I plan on going to my first meeting tonight. No idea what to expect. Thank you everyone for the experiences.

  15. Jeannette April 2018 at 1:51 am

    After 16 years of living with someone who drinks…I feel my life is a tornado. My hustand has had 2 DUI’s and swore the last one he would never drink again. I bought it because I really hoped he meant it. But I feel that my life will NEVER change and as I get older I am so alone. I just want to fall off the face of the earth. It would be 2 days before he realized I was gone.

  16. Sophia April 2018 at 9:43 pm

    My husband is an alcoholic. He drinks heavily everyday and call me out my name and threaten to kill me and my child. He locks me out our bedroom and drags me off the couch so I have to sleep on the floor. I’m afraid to fall asleep as I don’t know what he will do to me in my sleep. When I go to work he doesn’t cook or clean the house or take showers for days. I am so depressed!! I wish I was dead. I left him many times but each time he will stop for awhile then start back drinking. I called the cops and reported him driving intoxicated because I was afraid he was going to hurt himself and others. I so hate my life. I’m planning to start going to meetings but if he finds out it will be a nightmare. Please pray for me.

  17. Ellen April 2018 at 5:51 am

    Reclaiming your life helped me finally reach out and start the process of reclaiming my life. I am a newcomer and have finally emailed my request for meeting schedules and literature. I am hoping that in writing my comment will help me to start the healing process. I have been fooling myself that I could get through this on my own. I can’t and I am destroying who I am/was. I have so much resentment and anger inside of me that it is difficult for me to concentrate on any one thing, so I find myself in a constant state of going from one task to another and it taking 10 times the amount of time and effort that it used to. This is my 1st step and I will continue to get incouragement from the group.

  18. Sheri April 2018 at 3:07 am

    Many of your stories are similar to mine. I lost my husband to cirrhosis, kidney failure, esophageal varices, pancreatitis and diabetes in September 2016. We had been high school sweethearts. He did not have a problem with alcohol until he was in his early 40’s. He was only 58 when he died, an alcoholic and an addict.

    I went to Al-Anon for the first time in December 2011. It was a last resort; I had tried everything else. I felt like a failure. My father was an alcoholic, and so was my grandfather. My mother said she had lived with an alcoholic her entire life. I had sworn that would not happen to me. And, in fact, my husband and I had often talked about the fact that both our fathers were alcoholics, and how this had negatively affected both of us. I NEVER thought my husband would become a victim of this disease. He was too smart, too talented, . . . but I was wrong.

    I attended Al-Anon meetings regularly for a while, as well as continuing to see a therapist who encouraged my attendance at Al-Anon. But, when my husband made attempts to control his drinking, I would relax my attendance at meetings. I felt like having to go to meetings was just one more thing on my already full plate. Anyway, wasn’t it his problem, not mine?!? Ultimately, my husband lost his job of 27 years, which meant he was home all day, alone, and he could indulge in his addictions as much as he wanted.

    After an involuntary commitment, a week in detox, and 28 days in an in-patient treatment facility, my husband got sober. He stayed sober for exactly 100 days. He did not adhere to our agreement, that if he relapsed he would tell me immediately and be willing to go back to in-patient treatment. From that point, his use of anti-anxiety meds (bought on-line from India) and of alcohol, quickly returned to the level he had been at prior to treatment. His brain had begun to recover during this brief period of sobriety, but, as I now understand, he most likely needed 2 years of sobriety for his brain and thought processes to even approach normal. At that point, desperate, I returned to Al-Anon . . . attending 3 or 4 meetings a week, reading Al-Anon literature daily, and reaching out to others in Al-Anon. This action saved my sanity and my life. I couldn’t save my husband, but Al-Anon helped me to make changes in myself, which allowed me to make amends to my husband before he died, and to let go of much of my anger and resentment. If you devote the time to the Al-Anon program, the benefits you receive will be great, and it will give you the strength and support you need to make changes, and move forward.

  19. Bluesandrine April 2018 at 11:53 am

    I have been living for close to 2 years with an alcoholic husband who is in denial. I have had to put up with his constant emotional abuse, humiliation and degradation on a personal level. My looks, my body, my family are a constant reminder of how disgusted I make him feel. He is a hard drinker, consumes a full bottle of vodka 750 ml and sometimes more every single night and then lashes out. In fact last night he was livid because I refused to go and buy alcohol and he was too drunk to drive to the liquor store. So he found revenge in tormenting me about leaving/having an affair with “this” woman. Told me I was ugly and he had made a mistake marrying me.
    This morning is the beginning of a new day. As usual he acts as if nothing happened and I’m in this nightmare on my own. I head to work with a heavy heart and eyes full of tears.
    Now I’m finally ready to stand for myself and do the best thing – leave! I feel blessed to have found Al-Anon. My journey will be long my energy levels are low but I am ready to make that step.

  20. Laura April 2018 at 4:58 pm

    I’m here by the instruction of my brother, who is in recovery. My husband has always been an alcoholic, but so have I. I was deep in AA in my early-mid 20’s. I eventually grew up and maintained a professional job for another 10 years.
    After my husband and I had our son, I never went back to work. I’ve been able to control my drinking with a certain degree, but now my husband has gone into full blown drug addiction and alcoholism. We can’t even be in the same room together without something I say setting him off. I cry non stop. I am at the point each day where I want a divorce. I hope I can find a good home group to help me find myself once again bc I’m suffering as I’ve never before.

  21. Marie April 2018 at 10:09 am

    I’ve decided to attend a meeting tonight finally. My significant other has struggled with alcoholism for years. I have children and it’s starting to affect them as well. Yesterday and last night was the worst. He belittles me to the point I question my self worth. The drinking now makes me feel nothing but disgust and despair. From the moment I hear the ice maker and the bottle open I’m on edge and full of dread. My Father was an alcoholic so there is that fight or flight response when I smell the alcohol. I’ve went from feeling desperate to help him to broken hearted that he treats me so bad. Now begins anger. He slammed cabinet doors on purpose which woke up the kids crying in fear. I lashed out and scratched him pretty good. There’s no excuse to put your hands on someone but for scaring my kids I couldn’t control it. I went through this as a child and have trust issues as a result. I don’t want my children to accept the same fate.

  22. Anne-Marie April 2018 at 10:01 am

    I’ve been taking what my husband has been doing personally…the secret drinking, the lying…I am an intelligent woman, but I don’t feel like one when it concerns my relationship with him…I have lived with this situation for years and I have been in severe denial…but now that I am becoming aware, I am even more anxious…I have had a few conversations with him, thinking he would see how much he is hurting me and that he would want to change, for us…but it is not happening and, in fact, it is worse…I have decided I want him to move out, it is my elderly father’s and my house, but he won’t leave, and he acts like nothing is wrong.

  23. Elizabeth April 2018 at 8:21 am

    I am finally seeking help for me. Being married into this disease, I find it very hard to cope with the way that my spouse interacts with me. I am placed in a world of silence and have to walk on “egg-shells” around him. When we do get along well, I seem to always say or do something to screw things up and the silence will continue. I am seeking a way to turn this dance around…my world is too crazy some days! Thanks for letting me share here since I find it hard to speak at a meeting.

  24. Lisa April 2018 at 8:13 pm

    My husband’s drinking has spiraled out of control. I am devastated by the fact that, perhaps, this has been going on much long than I have realized. He struggles with depression and is on anti-depressants, but in the past few months, I feel that his depression and drinking have gotten worse. Of course, it is hard to know which came first, the depression or the alcohol abuse; I’m sure they are tightly intertwined. Along with his increased usage, he was spending more and more time “at work” and away from home. Finally, I figured out what was going on. I feel so stupid, hopeless, ashamed, duped, and afraid. I love my husband, and it devastates me to know that he is hurting his body and ruining his beautiful brain with this substance. He admitted to me (tearfully) that he drinks in order to sleep, and he also admitted to drinking in the car on his way home from work. For so many obvious reasons, this horrifies me and breaks my heart. I told him that of course, I want him to quit or control his intake. But I insisted that, more than anything, I hope that he can peel back the shame, know that I love him, and stop drinking secretly. I also asked him to please just drink at home or call me or a friend for transportation. These things do not fix his drinking problem, but they at least (I hope) will reduce harm and risk to him, to me, to our finances, and to the “institution” that is our household. However, now that he is home in the evenings, drunk, it is a devastation to watch this up close. He passed out on the sofa before 7pm this evening. Just as scary, I never even saw him drink a drop…so he is at home, but it is still happening in secret. I feel wild with grief but am trying to sort out what is his problem, my problem and “our” problem. I think I have found an AA family group meeting in my area at a time that I will be able to attend next Monday. I am praying that I can find help and hope. I keep thinking I will wake up from this nightmare and then realize that this is really happening to us.

  25. Tommy G. April 2018 at 7:35 pm

    Just trying to find al-anon group close by I can attend.

  26. Robert April 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Thank you for this!! It’s nice to know there are people out there that have similar stories and that we are not alone! My first meeting is this Tuesday and I look forward to it!!

  27. Jen April 2018 at 11:07 pm

    Sounds like my husband. Been with him 18 years. He’s been in in patient 6 days doing great then started up and can’t stop. He’s alive but dead sleeps all the time ….he needs surgery things going on after surgery he stops drinking or he needs to leave. I can’t live like this anymore. I’m going to go to an Al-Anon meeting this week.

  28. DELORES April 2018 at 8:59 pm

    I have been in the alcoholic environment since 2014. What has been a Saving Grace for me is getting involved in service. I am a new GR and that has helped me to maintain stability and Sanity. I feel like I’m making a difference and being a GR allows me to practice what I preach. Thank you.

  29. Linda April 2018 at 5:33 am

    It’s devsastating knowing you can’t help them control their drinking or their nasty behaviour that comes with it!
    No person or anything in the world is greater than their desire to drink. 😪

  30. Amy Beth April 2018 at 11:41 pm

    When I met my husband and his daughter they had just been recently dumped in the trash can by his ex-wife, a hard-core alcoholic.
    I was a bike rider and a runner and they both showed interest in that for a while. We married a year later and I had my daughter and his daughter in the house. I didn’t drink until my stepdaughter was about 25. That means a glass of wine. But her grandmother and her father continued to drink. Didn’t matter to them what her genetics might be.
    Well now years later my step daughter and my husband… her daddy…are hard-core drinking buddies. She brings her friends and he pays for all the booze. They start drinking at 1 to 2 in the afternoon and drink all night. This goes on for every day of what is supposed to be our vacation.
    He is a functional drunk and a physician. But he’s become very overweight and his skin is the color of an alcoholic. She is successful in the financial district in New York. But she can mix drinks and drink him under the table. They make me sick.

  31. Tracey April 2018 at 4:11 pm

    Thank you for sharing!
    Listening and reading stories of experience, strength and hope reminds me how powerful our program is and how blessed I am to have found Al-Anon. The one program that can help me live again and love again.

  32. Kimberly April 2018 at 5:55 pm

    This story has given me hope, that I dont have to live in this Hell. 17 yrs I’ve been with this man, and although he’s always been an alcoholic, the past 7 years have been a pure hell kicked off by a drug addiction. Now he’s exchanged that back to alcohol, his true love. Anti-depressants don’t help, but I’m hoping I can find some sort of peace. Thank you for giving me hope.

  33. Denise April 2018 at 4:10 pm

    This is so me

  34. Raymond April 2018 at 8:53 pm

    I needed that. I have been living in hell for the past three years. I just can’t understand why a person would throw it all away for self medicating. I cry every day over my wife, she’s alive but dead

  35. Josephine March 2018 at 7:34 pm

    Wow…. thank you. I needed that

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