Today, I will be still and listen to myself. I will drop the fallacy in my thinking that holds me solely responsible for the success or failure of my family. I will release a dream to which I was never entitled in the first place.
Today, I will show up in my marriage as I truly am. I will not force myself to become who I think I need to be in order to save it from being demolished by a disease I didn’t cause, I can’t control, and I can never cure.
Today, I will tend to myself first and give others what I have to spare after that. When I overextend myself, I force myself to run on the noxious fumes of resentment.
Today, I will respectfully and gently protect myself and advocate for my needs. I will acknowledge my wants. I will begin to accept reality by accepting my own inner world. When I am not true to myself, I can only cause confusion.
Today, I will hold my head high, knowing that I have done what I can for my marriage and that my Higher Power has the final say. I will eat when I am hungry, drink when I am thirsty, and rest when I am tired. I will meet my emotions with compassion. I will pursue recovery and abandon despair. I will allow my Higher Power to build me back up so that I can make good decisions.
Today, I will “Let Live,” but I will also remember to “Live” myself.
By Auset H., Texas
The Forum, April 2024
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.
I needed to read and “hear” this! 40 years with my precious husband…22 in sobriety, and then the last 18 have been in and out. Thank God for my 42 years in Al-Anon; but I cannot lie…sometimes I feel like a newcomer all over again! ODAT.
This is a wonderful synthesis of the benefits and beauty of the Al-Anon program. Thank you!
This 12 Step practice gives me the freedom to choose to refuse the “noxious fumes of resentment” AND instead choose WELL, by respectfully and gently advocating for myself, protecting my needs…BEFORE I burn out! I get to practice this Fabulous Way of Life, this Gift passed on to me by All of you in the Fellowship AND outside the rooms! As I practice ODAT to Notice&Trust the disease, my teachers show up AND I can shed more and more the “stinkin’thinkin’” attitudes that only come to do nothing less than take&disconnect me and my loved ones from our HigherPower🕊️Let’s keep… Read more »
I definitely enjoyed the print out on the website. It is just remarkable in the first paragraph it says we don’t deserve that dream. I don’t agree with that. I think we deserve that dream about a wonderful marriage.
Absolutely spot on for me today! Every word resonated for me, and I am grateful for your post.
Thank you today for this. This pledge is now mine. It is perfect for me today.
This is beautiful!
At first this sounds very wrong while remaining emotionally dependent, but when you’ve been physically abused so often, it’s absolutely necessary for your well being! I loved my wife, but when she allowed her brother into our lives (with his constant drug and alcoholism), I had to say, “Enough!”