Navigating my husband’s sobriety

Often people think that once the drinker has found sobriety that everything will be great – no worries, just normal everyday life. While it is true, things are better without the drinking, both the sober alcoholic and the non‑drinking relatives find new problems and situations to navigate. In this video, an Al‑Anon member shares how her and her newly sober husband dealt with family reunions and friendly get‑togethers.

If your life has been affected by someone else’s alcoholism, we invite you to visit an Al‑Anon meeting. From our perspective, it doesn’t matter if your loved one is still actively drinking or if they are sober. If their drinking – past or present – bothers you, you are welcome at any Al‑Anon meeting.

This interview was recorded at the 2018 Al‑Anon International Convention in Baltimore, Maryland, USA. Members were asked to share about various aspects of the Al‑Anon program and their personal experience.

Members’ anonymity is protected so that they can share openly and honestly about their experience with a loved one’s drinking and with the Al‑Anon program.

The opinions expressed in this video were strictly those of the person who gave them.

Video Transcript

Navigating my husband’s sobriety

MEMBER: A year after my husband got sober, we had to go to a wedding. And he had some health issues, so he had lost a ton of weight. And it was really, you know, “Oh there’s gonna be a lot of alcohol there,” and the family, and all the expectations. And we talked about it before hand. “Okay, let’s go in two cars,” in case he wanted to leave early, and I supported him through that. And some of our family members knew, because he was open about his recovery. And it was a hard time to be there with all the family asking questions and the alcohol, but because we had kind of said, “There’s a way out. We can leave or we can stay.” And other things, our socializing has changed a little bit. Our circle of friends that kind of alters, and I think a lot of it for me, is I give my husband the heads up. Like, “Oh, so and so has invited us to dinner, and they said other couples will be there,” and again, Al‑Anon has kind of given us, or at least given me, some guidelines; and I don’t have to follow them, but I keep them filed away as helpful tools for, you know, just dealing with situations.

MODERATOR: Yes, yeah definitely, by using those tools to help you, thank you.