My recovery helped my relationship with my daughter

In September, a special focus is put on recovery in the United States and Canada. Although much of the focus is on the recovery of the person with an addiction, the families and friends of alcoholics can also find their own recovery in Al‑Anon and Alateen.

In this interview, Brian, an anonymous Al‑Anon member, shares how alcoholism affected his family and how the recovery he found in Al‑Anon helped improve his relationship with his daughter.

If your life has been affected by someone else’s drinking, maybe Al‑Anon or Alateen can help you.

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DISCLAIMER:  This interview was recorded at the 2018 Al‑Anon International Convention in Baltimore, Maryland, USA. Members were asked to share about various aspects of the Al‑Anon program and their personal experience.

Members’ anonymity is protected so that they can share openly and honestly about their experience with a loved one’s drinking and with the Al‑Anon program.

The opinions expressed in this video were strictly those of the person who gave them.

Video Transcript

My recovery helped my relationship with my daughter

Interviewer: Ryan, how has Al‑Anon helped improve your relationship with your daughter?

Ryan: Well, I mean my family, we have gone through leaps and bounds of change; from day and night. Early with our family, we had a very violent home, and so the mother was aggressive in a variety of ways. We had a lot of challenges. We had three children. But with my oldest daughter, coming to the program and coming face to face with some of the most difficult things that any children can see. You know, their safety and things, and these difficult things that happen in an alcoholic home. We—now we share a life of recovery. And it started with boundaries, and with setting some firm direction in our house, and a commitment to having a program. And so, today in my life, we don’t have alcoholism active in the house. And those were some rules. And with my oldest daughter, we just recently, we celebrated her graduation, and it was a great day. All the family was there—the cousins and the relatives—and we shared time together that well, going from an alcoholic home, where people are not safe to a place of great recovery. You know, where people are laughing and their having a great time, and everybody’s safe. And that’s our life today. Al‑Anon has helped by changing me. “Let it Begin with Me.” And the things that were unacceptable—we say in Al‑Anon “we don’t accept unacceptable behavior.” And those were some dynamics that I needed to bring into my home. And those, the boundaries, taking a firm commitment, resolve, those were the things that began to make change.

Interviewer: Thank you for sharing with us.