When I attended my first Al‑Anon meeting, I was in a state of desperation, looking for a way to “fix” my son, the alcoholic. I didn’t know anyone at that meeting. Nevertheless, some members greeted me warmly, made sure I had a seat, and loaned me a book.
The group read a welcome message and then members shared their personal experience, strength, and hope. I can’t begin to tell you how comforted I was by the stories they told about how they had broken free from the same tumultuous life I was caught in.
Although I had come thinking that alcoholism was my son’s problem, I left with new respect for the power that alcoholism has over friends and families. It was actually a relief to get permission to take care of my own recovery and leave my son’s recovery to him. Sure, I would always love him and want to help him—it wasn’t easy to stop all my controlling, enabling behavior. But reading Al‑Anon literature daily, talking to members, and most of all going to meetings, has kept me focused on my personal journey to serenity.
By Anonymous
The Forum, February 2021
Feel free to reprint this article on your website or in your newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
Hello , my father was a full blown alcoholic his entire life which has affected me in so many ways my entire life, I am 65. My daughter is an alcoholic and drug addict. If I had been in Al Anon it would have saved me so many problems. Glad to be a part of it now.
Hi. I am the mother of an alcoholic daughter. She is now 36 and has 2 sons aged 11 and 6. They all lived in my house with me while my daughter’s health deteriorated. I justified my enabling of her addiction by saying I was protecting my grandsons. My neighbors did not agree and following 1 or 2 tries at sobriety she continued to drink. The boys were taken away. It’s almost been a year. My heart is broken. I understand she is in recovery but her drinking has had serious effects on the boys. I pray every day that… Read more »
The posts I read here are so insightful. The one regarding letting the alcoholic worry about his recovery while I take care of myself really hit home. I have been overlooking and denying my guy’s problem for over 10 years but have basically given him permission to give nothing and expect all.
Now that I have taken a step toward stopping that, he is hostile. Thankfully, our paths rarely cross so I’m at peace until my guilt creeps in. But that is happening less and less.
Thanks to all who are sharing here.
Please visit our Newcomers page to find out how Al-Anon can help. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic many face-to-face meetings are currently unavailable and we invite you to try an electronic meeting. Al-Anon Family Groups offer a large list of electronic meetings on a variety of platforms, including Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp, email, and phone. In addition, the meetings are available at all hours of the day, and some even 24 hours a day.
My son is an alcoholic and continues to make poor choices in his life. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday and appreciated the acceptance and support. I am hopeful for myself and will always hold out hope that my son will choose sobriety someday.
Alcohol has been a curse in my family in each Generation. I don’t know what took me so long to get here…but it’s hard so far to find help or a meeting and connection. I think an adult child with this disease for years is taking a toll, and us the worst. You watch as their life heads towards the drain…praying and praying. So hard…
So I’m struggling to join a meeting.
Please visit our Newcomers page to find out how Al-Anon can help. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic many face-to-face meetings are currently unavailable and we invite you to try an electronic meeting. Al-Anon Family Groups offer a large list of electronic meetings on a variety of platforms, including Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp, email, and phone. In addition, the meetings are available at all hours of the day, and some even 24 hours a day.
My son(19) went into treatment this past Wednesday. I am looking for support and having a difficult time finding Al-Anon meetings.
New to all this. Guess the new normal has changed a lot of things…especially home life.
Al-Anon Family Groups offer a large list of electronic meetings on a variety of platforms, including Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp, email, and phone. In addition, the meetings are available at all hours of the day, and some even 24 hours a day. Please click on this link to access the list: electronic meeting.
My son has been through rehab twice. Had another relapse on Christmas Day that lasted 5 days. Been sober ever since, got a great job, going to meetings every night…..but I can’t stop worrying about if there will be another relapse!! Looking for support anywhere I can find it! No in-person Al-Anon right now.
I am sooo thankful to find this application! I was married to an alcoholic/drug addict and these meetings were a BLESSING. They gave me positive energy and helped me find me! I look forward to coming back to my Al-Anon family!
Mother of alcoholic son. It’s been a 15 year struggle…that continues. I am so thankful for Al-Anon.
Hi, I am the mother of an alcoholic son. He has a 3 year old and a 2 month old. My husband and I are exhausted and our son’s disease has impacted our health and our finances. We have recently found Al-Anon and are learning that we are not alone.
The Al-Anon program has been a godsend for our family -once completely broken by alcoholism. I have learned so much.
My son is an alcoholic and it is the most painful thing! He lives with us and nothing has worked for him the last three years through his choices. Al-Anon has helped me see the enabling we did early on, but husband hasn’t been 100 percent on board… our marriage is hanging on by a thread through all this and I have been having stress-related heart palpitations due to all this… He is going to a rehab place soon and is paying for it… the days can’t move fast enough for me for him to get help…
Being a parent of an alcoholic is the hardest. We want to protect our children and are being told by the program to detach. I have been in the program for 8 years and it does get better over time whether they are still drinking or not. Hang in there, this is a wonderful program!
Love this. WOULD LOVE TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE. HUSBAND OF AN ALCOHOLIC
So difficult supporting a child with alcohol or substance use. No manual to follow. Although paid to get our child in a recovery program. Thankful for the changes and growth we’ve seen in last 17 months but no ongoing counseling. 12 Steps are positive! Volunteering in the program helps with growth. Hired by the program but working 24/7 with no days off is difficult mentally for our child. What help finding work or housing once out of the program. #feeling helpless #worried #tryingtostaypositive