Growing up around alcoholism, I learned to read rooms and to take on others’ feelings and opinions. Drama and gossip felt comfortable. I have carried these character defects with me most of my life, passing on my judgments and negative behaviors to others. Three years ago, I started attending Al-Anon meetings and working the Steps with a Sponsor. I learned about my character defects of being defensive and prideful. Those defects caused me so much pain. I owe an amends to myself, to love myself. With the assistance of God and my Sponsor, my confidence has grown, lessening my character defects. If I’m not careful, I can slip back into my old ways by taking on others’ opinions. I can easily entertain irrational thoughts because it feels familiar, and my family is comfortable living in the drama.
Today, I have choices, and it is getting better. I might take the bait for a moment, then walk away with a closed mouth. I hope that as my confidence grows stronger, I will have the courage to verbally decline participating in the conversation. With Al-Anon, I have choices. I will gently remind myself that what someone else thinks of me is none of my business, and I can “Let Go and Let God.”
By Kimberly R.
The Forum, September 2025
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.