Learning how to open my heart

My older brother was diagnosed with cirrhosis and hepatitis C. Even with my own health issues, I felt compelled to stay connected with him although he had isolated himself from everyone.

My Higher Power gave me a glimpse into my brother’s true nature while he was sober. I saw his brilliance, his humor, his kindness, and gentle demeanor. We developed a strong friendship.

I knew that addiction was killing him but now, ten years later through my experience with Al‑Anon, I understand that he was rendered vulnerable. When he surrendered, we were given the gift of true intimacy. It was an amazing experience and, for the first time in my life, I could see the good in the alcoholic.

Finally, my Higher Power has shown me the way to Al-Anon through my husband—another alcoholic. This time, it was different. There was no way out for him or me. I was forced to surrender.

My first meeting was magic. The people there were very respectful and kind. No one interfered with my need to feel my emotions. My need for control was enormous and vulnerability left me feeling totally defenseless. I distinctly remember the words, “Keep Coming Back.”

In order to get well, I had to become vulnerable and humble. My ego had protected me in ways that were no longer needed. In fact, it had kept me stuck in denial. It had to move over and let the God of my understanding take over.

By Lynn F., British Columbia

2017-07-27T07:46:53+00:00January 1, 2016|Categories: Alcoholic Sibling|

One Comment

  1. Amanda M. November 2017 at 6:07 pm

    I am new to this website, but I am reaching out in help. I have a sister who is 26 and she has been an addict of meth since the age of 13. She has suffered since a young age due to her upbringing and divorced parents. All three of her children have been taken from her by CPS. I have one of her children which is the only one she really gets to see right now. I am the supervisor of all of her visits for the child I have, but it has been extremely difficult in dealing with the way that she treats me. I always make sure she gets her regular visits and I am always kind to her. But she always complains it’s not good enough or why can’t I give her rides to and from her visits. I get yelled at because I do not buy her food. She went to rehab for about 2 months, court ordered. I am at my wits end. My sister and I have never really been close, we have different moms. But I can remember when she was about 15 I asked her to move in with us so we could raise her to have a good life and yet she refused.
    It’s almost Thanksgiving and I can’t allow her to go with us to my husbands relatives because we cannot even trust her in our own home. Because I can’t do Thanksgiving with her she sends me hateful text messages and accuses me of being a control freak. She has be abused by her soon to be ex husband and now blames me that she is having to take medication. I wish I was able to help more but I am already raising her child and married with my own child. I have family history of addicts in my family but I distance myself because I can’t put my son around these things.

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