It Doesn’t Make It So

Before Alateen, I could never forgive the people who hurt me. I could hold grudges like I could hold a feather—easily. Resentment is a bad habit I couldn’t seem to break. If you hurt me, I was going to hurt you back—ten times worse. No one knew that on the inside I was hurting. I played it off like everything was okay. If you even said the slightest thing wrong or even looked at me wrong, I was coming after you.

But when I started working my program in Alateen, I learned that it’s okay to forgive someone if they hurt me. I have learned to forgive my dad for his drinking. I always used to beat myself up about the stupid stuff I did to myself, but I have forgiven myself for the pain I caused to myself and the harm to my body. I feel so much better knowing that it’s okay to forgive. I’ve learned that if people hurt me, they hurt me. They only affect my mood if I let them. Before, their opinions would convince me that’s how I was. But today, I know that it’s their opinion, and it doesn’t make it true.

By Paige M.

The Forum, June 2018

2018-05-30T14:53:26+00:00May 30, 2018|Categories: Alateen, Alcoholic Parent, The Forum|


  1. Anonymous July 2018 at 10:24 pm

    Reading this put me in tears. This is exactly how I was and still am. I hold grudges, I beat myself up about it, and I couldn’t forgive and I want to forgive my mom for drinking but she has hurt me so much I don’t know how to forgive her. I have forgiven her many times before but it kept blowing up in my face and I just cant trust her anymore. I want to, but I cant!

  2. Beverly M. June 2018 at 5:02 pm

    Very correct, I know adults who haven’t learned to incorporate this lesson into their lives. Mind you, they’re not in recovery either, they won’t accept my invitation to a meeting. I empathize with them, but don’t get caught up in their pain or manipulations.

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