When I first got into the program, I saw a sign hanging on the wall of a therapist’s office that read, “When the pain is greater than the fear, then you are ready”—ready to change. But because my fear was so large, it took a lot of pain and a long time to finally confront the reality that living in pain was not sustainable, and as scary as it was, I needed help. I could not do this thing called life all by myself. It takes support to raise a child. I cannot fix myself, and I need a whole lot of help.

I found my support in the rooms of Al‑Anon. I found that the help I need does not come in the form of things, although sometimes it can. Mostly the help I need comes in the form of kindness and compassion. Being surrounded by kindness and compassion, I finally learned to tell the truth about my life to others. In learning to tell the truth and to get in touch with how I feel, I began to learn how to sit with my truth and stop running. I learned how to listen to myself and how to trust myself. I learned how to be kind and compassionate to myself.

The kindness and compassion in the support of Al‑Anon continues to help reinforce my self-kindness and self-compassion. I, in turn find peace, sanity, and gratitude for my life. From here, I want to give back to others some of the kindness and compassion that I was so generously and unconditionally given.

By Nan E.

The Forum, June 2025

Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.