When I began to realize that my husband had a problem with alcohol, I argued with him and cried all the time. My emotions were just uncontrollable. My children noticed before I did that he drank every day. This all started when he retired. He was depressed and lonely, and he drank.
I’d heard about Al‑Anon and finally decided to try out some meetings. I found one I really liked and stayed. Everyone seemed so friendly and happy. I probably cried at every meeting for the first two months. People kept telling me, “Keep Coming Back.” Then COVID-19 hit, and there were no more face-to-face meetings near me. An Al‑Anon member asked if I wanted to try electronic meetings, and I have been going ever since. It’s been more than a year.
It’s wonderful to attend these meetings and listen to everyone’s thoughts and ideas. Talking with others about the family disease of alcoholism has really expanded my outlook on the disease, and I feel very comfortable with this awesome group of people. Ours is a well-organized and positive group. I even started volunteering—to serve as Treasurer, meeting Chairperson, and Host. I am somewhat of an introvert, and volunteering helped me connect with people better.
Today, our home is much more relaxed and peaceful. Using the slogans and reading the literature has given me the encouragement to continue loving the alcoholic—with detachment. I am enjoying the simple things in life—birdwatching, sunsets, gardening, daily walks. Al‑Anon has given me such a positive attitude. I say the Serenity Prayer every night before I fall asleep. I also enjoy reading the daily readers every night. I think I am going to read one page and end up reading five or six pages. I still struggle every day, but now I have more happy days than sad ones.
By Anonymous
The Forum, January 2022
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
There is no support group in my place where I’m at… I feel so desperate all the time.
We have a variety of virtual/electronic meetings, including Zoom. Find them at: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/electronic-meetings/
You can find local and virtual or electronic meetings available at: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/.
We suggest that newcomers visit as many meetings as possible when they first start the program – whether in person or online. That will help you find the meeting that works best for you and give you a good understanding of how the program works. You can find meetings at: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/
Thank you for visiting the Al-Anon Family Groups website and requesting information. The best way to get support when dealing with someone else’s drinking is in Al-Anon meetings. You can find local and virtual or electronic meetings available at: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/.
Thank you for visiting the Al-Anon Family Groups website and requesting information. The best way to get support when dealing with someone else’s drinking is in Al-Anon meetings. You can find local and virtual or electronic meetings available at: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/.
Hello, my husband is a recovering alcoholic….he’s been sober from Alcohol for I think maybe 2 years? He has replaced alcohol with snorting Adderall… He lies about stopping, I support him, love him, then try being honest and showing how broken I am, I get angry and now I feel like I am done… I just found 60 -30mg he bought and I am just done. We have two kids a business and I cannot live this way… He doesn’t go out he stays up until all hours…sleeps all day and gets nothing done… Our marriage, our business, our family… Read more »
Hello, my significant other has a drinking snd drug issue snd I need to understand how to good with it. Can anyone help?
What is the best online group to join? I’m at my wits end with my husband who is in complete denial about his alcoholism and it is ruining our family.
Things that I heard in my first few Al-Anon meetings via zoom that have helped me ( please take it or leave it, I am not an expert just grateful to have found a little peace with Al-Anon) Alcoholism – you didn’t Cause the drinking, you cannot Control it, and there is Cure. 3 c’s You cannot change the drinker, you can only change yourself – “it begins with me”. Focus on yourself, care and love yourself, and you will find peace. When you are overwhelmed, stop and think, and do the next best thing. Don’t react. Feelings are not… Read more »
hi my spouse is an alcoholic
I used to think I could “help” change my loved ones. I thought is was something they needed. What I have learned from attending meeting, working the steps with my sponsor and praying, is that I want them to change so I will feel better. I counted on others to help me feel good about myself. That certainly has not worked in my life. This behavior of mine has hurt me and others far more than I ever imagined. Today I will continue to have a different perspective when I Let Go and Let God do what I cannot. Love… Read more »
can someone point me in the right direction to a meeting ? I live in Nyc…would do in person or online / zoom…I need help
Does this site have a zoom meeting?
I am not a drinker and my now husband was not a drinker when we met. He had given it up before joining the army. Then 3 years ago, he started drinking…just on Saturday nights initially but now he drinks every single day of the week. Whenever I bring it up with him how concerned I am about his new habit, we get into huge arguments about it. When he’s drinking he turns into a loud annoying child or becomes so sensitive about comments made…taking things the wrong way. I don’t know how to handle him when he drinks as… Read more »
Al-Anon can help!! If there are no in-person meetings at a convenient time or place for you, please look for an on-line one. The al-anon website has informational material that will help you find ways to cope and better care for yourself and your children.
I myself never touch alcohol. After 15 years of being married to an alcoholic I resent the poison and refuse to let it enter my body. This in of itself is a problem, I know, yet it’s the only defense mechanism I got. My husband struggles with substance abuse, he drinks, he smokes cannabis from sun up to sun down, this causes him anxiety which he then takes anti-anxiety meds for, it’s a vicious cycle. We hit rock bottom 2 weeks ago. New Year’s day and here he was drinking again, picking on me and blaming me for nothing out… Read more »
I’m looking for a group. It’s encouraging to read about a positive experience with online groups. I’ve been struggling with my own feelings of powerlessness and anxiety around my loved one’s drinking. I need some perspective.
I am in the same boat. He said that he needs to drink because I have nothing I can offer him like drinking gives him. Cried to sleep last night… We have a 1 year old son and another one due in May. I am pretty lost what to do… being a mom you give up everything and now this… Sending you good vibes and hope we find relief soon.
My husband just cannot stay away from alcohol. He can stay sober for 4-5 months and then I don’t know what happens. It is like he just doesn’t know how to deal with life… I am trying to figure out how I can make things better for myself and my two boys. I am under so much stress when he is drinking that I can feel it in my stomach. Just trying to find somewhere I can fit in.