I came to Al-Anon several years ago. Someone suggested that I attend meetings because I was being affected by someone I loved. At the time, I thought, when he gets better, I’ll be okay. I went to my first meeting very scared because I didn’t know what to expect. The chairperson was extremely loving and supportive while I shared why I was there. She listened to me cry and gave me hope that, for the first time in years, change was possible. I felt that if I could keep the focus on myself, learn the tools of the program, and apply them to my life, things could get better.
Learning to share my feelings, be honest with myself and remain around like-minded people gave me the courage to implement new behaviors in my life. However, change took time. I had to adjust my attitudes and admit my powerlessness over my alcoholic loved one. I am happy to say that change has taken place for my children and me, and it has made all the difference in the world. I recognize now that it wasn’t just the alcoholic who needed changing—I needed it as well.
By Eileen F., New York
The Forum, December 2018
I have been going to Al-Anon meetings for about a year. And learning that the only thing that I can change is my attitude is a constant lesson. Today I was thinking that I would like to have a glass of wine when we go out to dinner tonight. But because my significant other is still drinking, I can’t as I am ALWAYS the designated driver. Fair? No, but I am praying for serenity to accept this. Thank you for letting me comment.
My husband is in recovery/rehab (alcoholism), I feel like I broke him. My personality is very strong I am type A he is type B.
I feel devastated and guilty. I am not okay….how do I learn not push him in my direction? How will I help him stay sober when he comes home? I feel responsible and sad…..
Self care was an easy concept that I could not accomplish until I began going to al-anon and working the steps for my own healing not my alcoholic family of origin or my spouse. Seasons of grief or loss come and go but my higher power and al-anon keeps me from doing a downward spiral. Now I have the tools and the support I need for a bright future.
Al-Anon is empowering and makes you see through the gray matter and helps you come to your personal truth.
I will be looking for a meeting next week. My husband has been sober for 52 days and the fear of a relapse is tearing me apart. I know that I need to get help.
I will be attending my first meeting this Sunday. I need the help and understanding of how to cope with my bf who binge drinks and doesn’t want to change. I am so looking forward to talking with someone about what I feel and open to all the help.
Thank for this post. It reminds me of the importance and simplicity of self care. Something that doesn’t come naturally to me and this hopeful post is brilliant. Merry Christmas to you and your loved ines.
Always appreciative for finding Al-Anon. Happy Holidays!
Beautifully written; your experience, strength, and hope. Thank you for writing.