My husband’s and my everyday experiences together typically involved resentments, blame, arguments, and misunderstandings. The roller coaster ride went in a circle, and it seemed we could never get off. However, once I started attending Al‑Anon, I started learning to keep the focus on me instead of constantly obsessing about others. I learned to hold my tongue and think whether or not I needed to say whatever popped into my mind, and usually I didn’t. I learned that my husband was his own person with his own ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that were different than mine. He had his own spirit and an identity of his own, and they were worthy of my respect, consideration, and appreciation. These ideas put my thinking of him and our relationship into a whole new perspective. 

I use the many tools that I’ve found in the literature, at meetings, and from my Sponsor. This program has given me the chance to have a growing relationship with my husband today. Before Al‑Anon, we would have never had that chance. Today I am truly grateful for the gifts Al‑Anon has given me. 

By Jessica M., Oregon 

The Forum, February 2019