I grew up in a loving home where there was no alcohol. But I married a man who grew up in an alcoholic family. While I knew that when I married him, I did not understand all the ramifications of it. He talked about how terrible his childhood was, but I still didn’t get it. We made the decision not to have alcohol in our home. When we moved East, he started drinking socially. However, as time went on, I realized we had a problem. I decided to find an Al‑Anon meeting because I was at a loss as what to do.
The meetings were so helpful and comforting because I soon realized I didn’t cause the problem. I also learned that I couldn’t control it, and I couldn’t cure it. We struggled through rehab, detox, hospital visits, and DUIs. Although he attended lots of A.A. meetings, he was unable to stay sober. I continued to attend Al‑Anon meetings and use the tools of the program. When my husband committed suicide, I knew because of my Al‑Anon experience that I had no control over his decision to take his own life. His drinking made him miserable, but because of Al‑Anon, I am able to find serenity and even happiness. At this the first anniversary of his death, I continue to attend Al‑Anon meetings where I find comfort and help and where I am able to reach out to help others.
The Forum, March 2020
Although many of us are practicing social distancing and are unable to get out to attend face-to-face meetings, that does not mean we are isolated from support. Al-Anon Family Groups offer a large list of electronic meetings on a variety of platforms, including email, Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp, and phone. In addition, the meetings are available at all hours of the day, and some even 24 hours a day. Technology has made it possible for us to never be alone. All we have to do is reach out. Please visit our Electronic Meetings page.
Hello my husband is an alcoholic. He has survived dilated cardiomyopathy. We spent millions to keep him alive. Ten years of surgery, medications, rehab. Once he received his mitral valve replacement he was told he was healed. He was sometimes drinking throwing the 10 years of all the care. It would be when they would get him to a healthier place with each treatment. As his ejection fraction would increase. He would drink again. But he is drinking full again. I stopped drinking 8 1/2 months ago, this isolation is causing me to feel really depressed. It is so hard… Read more »
Blessings to you one day at a time!
Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope. I am living with my spouse who is an active drinker. I am grateful to be in this program for 14 years. I fear his disease is getting worse and this fear incapacitates me. I cling to God who is my Higher Power and this program. Today I am not anxious and am able to make wise decisions.
I’ve been with my husband for 9 years and not only does he have a drinking problem but mental health issues. I am doing what I can to remember I can’t control and I didn’t cause it. I know I can’t live like this the rest of my life. I had major surgery 2 years ago but getting stronger again. Today was one of those days he just won’t stop yelling at me he finally passed out and I was so happy my whole day was very stressful.