I grew up in a loving home where there was no alcohol. But I married a man who grew up in an alcoholic family. While I knew that when I married him, I did not understand all the ramifications of it. He talked about how terrible his childhood was, but I still didn’t get it. We made the decision not to have alcohol in our home. When we moved East, he started drinking socially. However, as time went on, I realized we had a problem. I decided to find an Al‑Anon meeting because I was at a loss as what to do.
The meetings were so helpful and comforting because I soon realized I didn’t cause the problem. I also learned that I couldn’t control it, and I couldn’t cure it. We struggled through rehab, detox, hospital visits, and DUIs. Although he attended lots of A.A. meetings, he was unable to stay sober. I continued to attend Al‑Anon meetings and use the tools of the program. When my husband committed suicide, I knew because of my Al‑Anon experience that I had no control over his decision to take his own life. His drinking made him miserable, but because of Al‑Anon, I am able to find serenity and even happiness. At this the first anniversary of his death, I continue to attend Al‑Anon meetings where I find comfort and help and where I am able to reach out to help others.
The Forum, March 2020