Pam, Anna, and Betty, all active Al-Anon members, are talking about how they deal with unacceptable behavior.
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Pam, Anna, and Betty, all active Al-Anon members, are talking about how they deal with unacceptable behavior.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Google Podcasts
My husband and I have been married 13 years. No kids together but with prior partners. All our kids are adults now. He’s a disabled combat vet. Cannot work. I care for him. We are together 24/7. He drinks an entire bottle of vodka every night. Because he mixes it with red bull, he’s up late. Shortly after he starts drinking, his personality changes. He makes stuff up to pick a fight and have a reason to blame me for something or be mad at me. I found out last summer he had gambled 10k plus of money on our… Read more »
I don’t know what to do. My husband drinks 12-16 beers a night and he is a very angry, belligerent drunk. He screams at me to the top of his lungs. He tells me constantly that I’m not smart enough to understand English and that I’m stupid. He calls me all sorts of terrible names. He has called me a worthless wife. He tears things up and throws things. He will get mad over the least little thing and then say that I blame him for everything and that I must be perfect. He says he can repeat word for… Read more »
Leave fast and don’t make the mistake of going back like I did. You will be happier and so will the kids !
My boyfriend recently has gotten sober and it’s been three months since he has had a drink but he still acts like he did when he drank. He controls everything, I have a curfew, I have a bed time, I am not allowed to talk to people he doesn’t like or approve of or he screams at me and treats me like crap. I no longer have any friends, I don’t talk to my family, he screams at me in front of my kids, calls me nasty names, tells me he hates me, tells me he never loved me, tells… Read more »
Leave.
My sister is back on it full swing. She returned from a four day weekend at BF’s place. Sister told me BF’s last SO was an alcoholic. They were together for years. From what sister has said and what I’ve seen and gathered, he’s an enabler but hey, she’s in charge of herself as we all are. Anyway, this recent shift change is far from ideal, especially with the mountain making triggers. Also, Bipolar Type1. Refuses meds. The pattern, in short crudeness: *Mashed brain *Arrogant, rude, dominating know-all *Paranoid, scattered, defensive, abusive *Victimhood County *Door SLAMMING and breaking *Hallucinating, only… Read more »
Hi, I am a survivor of an alcoholic father and incest. It took over 15 years of therapy and healing before I could change my inner dialogue of being a victim to being a survivor. In 2022 I am now 54 and praise God, I am at peace most days. I was born into an alcoholic family. My father was a mean bully who loved to fist fight on the streets. He frequented the bar often and that was before he married my mom. His mother found my mother from a remote poor village in Cambodia and so it was… Read more »
On vacation and having a private conversation with my cousin, when my other cousin (which happens to be her sister) starts screaming at her to “do this and do that.” She had been drinking all day with friends and family, and I’m fairly certain she’s an alcoholic. I don’t drink. But when I asked her to please calm down so I can finish talking to her sister, she redirected her rage at me. I ignored her, which only made her angrier because she was looking for confrontation. But when she invaded my personal space and started yelling in my face,… Read more »
I’ve been with my partner 3 years and she is older than me. We live with my daughter and when she has a drink she can’t stop at a couple. She drinks the whole bottle, then lager, then she slags my family and daughter off which upsets me a lot and she’s so hurtful towards my family every time I answer back to her she gets worse saying her family are on to me and think I’m up to something etc. I can’t stand this anymore. I know when to stop drinking I don’t drink all night for the sake… Read more »
I met my partner 3 and a half years ago we have a son and one on the way. He was the most lovely person at first and slowly he became very abusive when drinking. He would hit me, break things in the house. He follows me round if I try and leave the situation. If it’s nighttime he’ll be purposely loud to try and wake the whole house up making loud sighing noises, slamming doors. If any of the male members of his family or neighbours come round he laughs and jokes and when they go he absolutely loses… Read more »
I have had 3 1/2 years of my partners drinking and I’m at breaking point …..
He can NOT face a conversation about our relationship telling me I’m hormonal or going through the menopause… he tells me I’m weird and a bully and does this to get his way i.e. go out binge drinking.
He has lied about who is with or where he has been.
I am at breaking point and know leaving him will be devastating for me as I don’t deal with heartache well
I’m a mess
My husband is starting to drink quite a lot. I have been very hurt by his actions lately. He is very mean when he has had a few to drink. He has 2 children with a previous partner and has them every other weekend. We were at a bbq this weekend, I left early as tired. He came home in a taxi with the kids. Left them to be quiet and go upstairs and not make a sound and he left again and went out drinking and didn’t discuss it with me first then not getting in till 6:30 am.… Read more »
My partner’s drinking got that bad I moved out with our baby, thinking it would be the wake-up call he needed. Two years later and another baby (complete suprise as we only had sex twice that year) and still his behaviour is the same if not worse. I’ve tried everything in my power to help him but he makes excuses and believes he doesn’t have a problem. He ignores my texts and phone calls, fails to communicate and demands I fetch his kids to him. I am trying to change my behaviour to protect myself and my children. He won’t… Read more »
I have been with my husband for the majority of my life. He is such a mean drunk. He talks to me any kind of way, he gets so angry and starts saying things he knows will hurt me then laugh once I begin to cry. Why is he this way? I don’t know what to do. My heart and head hurts most days because I feel like I’m getting ready to lose my marriage.
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Married 13 years. It’s terrible to read these comments but somehow comforting as well. I can relate to most of it. My husband drinks every day from the minute he walks in the door. He is high functioning so no one outside our home knows what is going on. I struggle to make an escape plan for the nights he starts insane argument, follows me, won’t leave me alone and pushes to have a confrontation. Then he has no memory of it the next day. I worry he will end up in a physical fight with my 20 year old… Read more »
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Hi there I’m 29 years old been with partner for 5 years and we have a son and another on the way. He drinks a fair lot and once he does, he starts being horrible, saying stuff that includes swearing or saying he will take me to court because of children. He even says horrible things about my family like sending them child porn and getting them done because he feels everyone is against him so takes it out on everyone. He also suffers from depression. And I’m really struggling what to do anymore and it scares me what he… Read more »
Well like everyone says. I cannot believe how much the comments sound like my situation. I thought I was alone! My husband started drinking later in our marriage. Once our son went off to college and our dogs died. You see my husband continues to say he does not have a drinking problem. This happened gradually and I thought wait he is fine. Because he convinced me it was fine. Well he is far from fine. I am the victim of abuse and yet he makes me feel as if he is the victim. Binge drinking on the weekends is… Read more »
I’ve read many of the stories on this sites and my heart breaks and breaks not only for the females but the kids especially. I’ve been with my ex-husband for 21 years. Married for 15 years. I finally had the strength to divorce him last year and it was the best and hardest decision I’ve made. When I met my husband, he was everything to me, we built a strong relationship, had 3 boys and bought a home. I had to sell our house because I’ve realized it was going to be tough to pay the mortgage because I was… Read more »