I’ve been reading through the comments and I’m really disheartened to know that I’m not the only one experiencing the torture of being with an alcoholic. I’ve been married to my husband for 3 years and together for 6. I realised from the day we met that he had a drinking problem. I’d never seen anyone knock back as many shots of whiskey in quick succession and consistently through the night. Yet, he seemed sharp and lucid. Hardly inebriated. Anyway, over the years he’s become progressively abusive and manipulative whenever he drinks… Which is most days… Binge drinking benders from… Read more »

It’s so strange to read all of the comments from women discussing how terrible their husbands are and their drinking. I have endured terrible abuse and shaming from my wife for being a white man with all the privilege it attracts however it has also afforded her the ability to be at home with our three boys. We’ve multiple businesses driven by both of us before kids and she stepped out when she wanted kids leaving me to work in the health clinics and the care centres. I thought working longer hours was the normal balance couples took to make… Read more »

My husband and I have been married over 30 years. He had drank every day of that. There were many times he could not be there when I needed him most because he had drank too much. He drinks every day and is asleep slouched in a chair in front of the computer some days at 5 or 4. Or on the sofa snoring loudly every evening. Our daughters bring friends home and have to yell at dad to wake up. He asks the same questions repeatedly when he is awake. Often remembers nothing the next day. Holds down a… Read more »

My boyfriend says stuff and is paranoid one minute and loving the next – when he’s drinking. The next day he’s either still drunk or hung over, he’s mean. In fact, he is right now. I have issues with my heart – last night he said that going to die. Whenever I say anything that needs to be fixed in our house, he takes it as an insult. This morning he wanted to have sex, I didn’t. He proceeded to tell me I’m gross. He also said last night he figured costs and thinks he can afford the house by… Read more »

I’ve been with my man for 5 years. Within the past year, he suddenly started going out every Saturday with his buddies and binge drinking all night until early morning. He tells me it’s his way to blow off steam (he’s a workaholic). He says he drinks heavily so that he’ll be incapacitated on Sunday, therefore he’ll be forced to relax and do nothing. He’s becoming more easily frustrated / agitated and this whole other side of him is coming out. He used to be supportive and loving and now he’s emotionally abusive and is having trouble controlling his anger.… Read more »

This discussion makes me so sad. It makes me realize that we are all sacrificing ourselves for a loved one’s drinking. My partner and I have been together almost 3 years, and his abuse (emotional and physical), cheating, lies, have been progressive. Last year was horrific, and then just like that he quit. For 4 ish months, I think. Communication was still incredibly difficult but I was relieved he wasn’t drinking. Then suddenly returned home from vacation and he started drinking vodka again daily. He has done horrible things since…flirted with a girl half his age in front of me… Read more »

Wow! It’s amazing how almost everyone is saying what I am going through. I pray and look at inspirational speakers on YouTube trying to get help. My husband drinks and yells, lies, call me names, and always accusing me of things I’ve never done. He says I throw away his wine and he drank it. I’ve never touched anything of his, he brakes my things, and let the air out of my tires so I can’t go anywhere, and say “vengeance is mine I will repay”. When I’ve never done anything to him. We met in 2006 and up to… Read more »

My wife has drinking issues and it has come to the point that I have quit any and all drinking. You can’t have one drink without being called a hypocrite. Thinking this would be a good move I was surprised that things got worse. Really don’t know where to turn now. It has made me very depressed to find out I’m helpless to make things better

I’ve been with my husband for 12 years. Met him when I was 15 years old and now I am 27, he is 29. He works nights and when he gets off in the mornings, he will drink 2-3 beers, and not small beers, the tall beers with higher alcohol volume. Then he will go to sleep then wake up, drink 2-3 more of those before work. He is constantly under the influence of alcohol. He is so verbally and emotionally abusive, he calls me awful names, tells me I am “weak”, blames me for everything, tells me to “prove… Read more »

My alcoholic husband keeps yelling at me telling me to find a lawyer he wants a Divorce.

My husband decided to go on a bender. It’s 1 am and still he’s out. I have been sober the last 5 months. I’m disappointed, I’m mad and feel betrayed. I am making boundaries by asking him to go stay in a hotel or sleep downstairs if and when he gets home. I don’t want a drunk husband.

My husband knows I hate his drinking, but he then throws in something I do to down play his drinking,

I’m reading this discussion at a loss for words. I didn’t think my boyfriend’s drinking was a problem, I just wanted to see the bright side of everything of course. We’ve been together for over a year and have a baby together. We are happy as can be when he’s sober. But when he drinks he can’t just drink a little bit he has to get obliterated. He’s never really been physically abusive, one night when he got really drunk he was pushing me around but it wasn’t anything crazy. I know he still shouldn’t be doing that. But that’s… Read more »

My husband and I moved from LA to Pittsburgh last fall to be closer to his family; due to COVID layoff and the political climate, CA just didn’t feel like home anymore. We’ve been married for 9 very happy years, dated for four years prior. I love our life that we’ve built. We met in our late 20s as young professionals building our careers. He was a typical party guy in college and is the weekend warrior having a few beers but never anything i was ever remotely concerned about. We work very stressful customer service/sales jobs and have built… Read more »

Been with mine for 19 years. He is determined that I am abusive, has referred to me as Dr.Jekylk and Mr. Hyde, or cryella DeVille.. everything he does to me is evidently what I do to him, which makes no sense. I am a trauma survivor from my teen years before I met him. When I met him he was the nicest guy to me. I expected him to kick me out like all the other “men” I had known. I only stayed because he asked me to stay. He was nice to me for a very long time. However,… Read more »

I’ve been with my partner 6 years, we’re engaged. From day 1 I knew he had problems, we would arrange to meet and then he’d not be home and I’d not hear from him all night. Turns out he went on a bender. This was the case every other day for the first 6 months, then I joined him him in drinking and doing drugs for a year, though he would still drop off the radar most Friday nights and I wouldn’t hear from him till Sunday sometimes. Eventually I realised I didn’t want that anymore and we broke up… Read more »

Oh my life’s a mess. My husband always drank since I met him 30 years ago, he’s going to be 53 years old. He’s drinking he’s a mean drunk doesn’t hit me but the way he treats me is horrible. His father moved in with us November his whole family are drunks his father I consider is a predator he’s a bad man and he’s destroying our marriage. His family since we met 30 years ago have done nothing but try to break us up. Literally they done really horrible things. Well his mom and dad just got divorced six… Read more »

I’ve been dating someone for two years and at first I guess I was blind to it but every time he is angry or something upsets him he will go and drink. He will look for any excuse to drink. The weirdest thing happens to him only when he drinks too. He will accuse me of being in the CIA or FBI or working undercover for the police and thinks everyone is out to get him. He will go on and on about things about religion or political stuff and it’s always the same exact topics when he drinks. Every… Read more »

I can relate to everyone on here. I thought I was alone in this but I’m glad there is others who know how it feels to go through this. I have been with my partner for 6 years. I should have left him years ago as there was warning signs right from the start. He doesn’t drink every day but when he does he doesn’t know when to stop and it can go on for 2 days. He comes back, is abusive to me for no reason, breaks things in the house, calls me names, blames me as it’s never… Read more »

Hi everyone After reading many of the messages below I feel I’m heading in the same direction as most of you. I’ve been with my partner now for 5 years, it started off great, I suppose you could say it was the honeymoon phase, then after a year things changed, we would enjoy going out for dinner and drinks together but this soon turned into every date night ending with a row. Always alcohol infused, he would always blame me, nothing was ever his fault. I’ve been accused of fancying his friends, not giving him enough attention, don’t love him… Read more »