I have been with my husband for the majority of my life. He is such a mean drunk. He talks to me any kind of way, he gets so angry and starts saying things he knows will hurt me then laugh once I begin to cry. Why is he this way? I don’t know what to do. My heart and head hurts most days because I feel like I’m getting ready to lose my marriage.

Married 13 years. It’s terrible to read these comments but somehow comforting as well. I can relate to most of it. My husband drinks every day from the minute he walks in the door. He is high functioning so no one outside our home knows what is going on. I struggle to make an escape plan for the nights he starts insane argument, follows me, won’t leave me alone and pushes to have a confrontation. Then he has no memory of it the next day. I worry he will end up in a physical fight with my 20 year old… Read more »

How do I join the discussion?

Hi there I’m 29 years old been with partner for 5 years and we have a son and another on the way. He drinks a fair lot and once he does, he starts being horrible, saying stuff that includes swearing or saying he will take me to court because of children. He even says horrible things about my family like sending them child porn and getting them done because he feels everyone is against him so takes it out on everyone. He also suffers from depression. And I’m really struggling what to do anymore and it scares me what he… Read more »

Well like everyone says. I cannot believe how much the comments sound like my situation. I thought I was alone! My husband started drinking later in our marriage. Once our son went off to college and our dogs died. You see my husband continues to say he does not have a drinking problem. This happened gradually and I thought wait he is fine. Because he convinced me it was fine. Well he is far from fine. I am the victim of abuse and yet he makes me feel as if he is the victim. Binge drinking on the weekends is… Read more »

I’ve read many of the stories on this sites and my heart breaks and breaks not only for the females but the kids especially. I’ve been with my ex-husband for 21 years. Married for 15 years. I finally had the strength to divorce him last year and it was the best and hardest decision I’ve made. When I met my husband, he was everything to me, we built a strong relationship, had 3 boys and bought a home. I had to sell our house because I’ve realized it was going to be tough to pay the mortgage because I was… Read more »

Hello everyone! I have been married 25 years and there were so many warning signs that I ignored. My husband has been an alcoholic ever since we adopted our son I believe 12 years ago. He is selfish and narcissistic. He was always controlling and jealous, but having a child made everything 100 times worse. He had pancreatitis in 2013 and almost died (wish he would have) and has had it several times since. He has been to rehab 3 times (which was really expensive) but never followed through with all the AA steps. He is too proud and narcissistic… Read more »

I am 35 weeks pregnant and it was something that he wanted so it was not a surprise, but something about the pregnancy has triggered him and he has been awful my entire pregnancy. At one point I had to pack and bag and leave because I knew it would be a terrible night and I knew I needed rest. He always feels shame the next day but will always do it again a few days later. He blames stress. He keeps me up all night. He was truly awful to me earlier calling me terrible names and telling me… Read more »

My partner and I have been together for nearly 4 years (long distance) and made sure we see each other every week. So much has happened in that time, I’ve spent 3 years fighting court battles regarding my little boy and his abusive/absent father trying to ruin any chance of a future. I was in foster care and met him when I was still a very troubled, vulnerable teenager. I was 15 and he was 24 so you can imagine the dynamics of how this relationship started and why it ended up in a 3 year long court battle. After… Read more »

It’s a strange (and very unfortunate) comfort to know I’m not alone. I have been married to my husband for 12.5 years. We have two kids. He drinks and gets angry. I’ve been called every name under the sun, he’s put holes in our walls, he wets himself, he has almost set the house on fire, he’s wrecked his car (thankfully he didn’t injure anyone, and we were not with him). The drinking and driving incidents have happened after work because he decides to go party on occasion. When I speak up and about it the next day he continues… Read more »

I am reading these posts and I feel I can relate so much. I don’t know what I was searching for on the web. I wanted to see if other people are going through this and how to manage it. Because I did not manage it well this morning. It just happened this morning. My partner came home at 4 am, I was really mad and could not control my anger. We had a massive fight where I just wanted to be left alone, he followed my around the house screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun.… Read more »

I cannot stop drinking, I have been heavily drinking for a year straight now, usually one beer and a few shots a night, I’ll skip a couple nights here and there but some nights I’ll do up to 6 drinks in total. I am very angry, I am so depressed and I just want this feeling to go away. It is ruining my relationship and it is turning me in to a horrible parent. I am 28 and I just want to be 19 again so I can re-do the past 9 years.

When I met my husband he enjoyed a social drink here and there like all men do. We would go out enjoy a night out without any problems. Few yeas ago cause of some health issues my husband got depressed and started drinking a bit more than he should. He recognized he had a problem and got help. He was sober for almost a year however just before the pandemic his sister died suddenly and the whole hell broke loose. He can’t keep a job he is so angry all the time and verbally abusive and stay away from a… Read more »

My boyfriend has been drinking for 13 years. He’s supposed to get a liver transplant because of the drinking. He’s refusing to stop and blames me for everything when he’s drunk. He’ll harass me for hours, 4-8. He says the most awful things. He tells me I’m so selfish all the time. I have a lot going on right now and he tells me I’m weak and pathetic. He’s driving me insane and I can’t move out. I’m very stressed. I don’t even cry anymore, I’m just mad. Sometimes I can’t even tell if he’s sober. I’m entitled to be… Read more »

I see bits of my situation in many of the posts. I am searching all over the internet but can never find an answer. maybe there is no answer. i do not know what to do when my spouse is angry and drunk. I tried fighting back (verbally) and that just makes it worse. I tried not saying anything and that is still not the answer. I cannot figure out how to react when he goes off on me. The other day he told me to ‘please die’ when I refuse to engage with him in arguing and remained silent.… Read more »

My husband goes to his friends house after work multiple nights a week and gets drunk. His friends have no kids. We have three (3,6 &7) he comes home and starts fights. Then blames them on me for paying to much attention to the kids and not giving him enough. Then depending on the time while I’m making dinner, doing the dishes or getting the kids to sleep he sits on his phone until he passes out or goes to bed. After fighting with me for a long period of time. It has been this way for a year. Maybe… Read more »

Oh and he left 2 days ago and hasn’t came home since but he calls and ask me to bring him clothes and he was drunk

I’m so glad to know I’m not alone in my situation. I have 1 year old twins and a 8 year old son with an alcoholic. He drinks heavy every night. I don’t get much help with the babies and I’m lonely. Even when he is home he is outside on the phone and talks bad about me all night, he says I argue with him and yell but his alcohol (jack) makes him mean to me and our son. I can’t even drink and enjoy drinking with him bc I know an argument always happens bc he goes over… Read more »

My wife gets intoxicated and becomes this terrible bully. The conduct has destroyed our marriage and any friendship we had. I quit drinking a while ago since I was being blamed for everything. Now reality shows it has been her conduct all along. I’ve asked her to stop for just one month to see how it goes. She is unable or unwilling to even take a small effort to see how it would be. I’m heartbroken, depressed and can only pray for her. I’m a high net worth individual so I have no other problems, so this is standing out… Read more »