How do you contribute to a feeling of safety in your Al‑Anon group?
February’s topic is, “How do you contribute to a feeling of safety in your Al‑Anon group?”
As always, you can also write about Al‑Anon’s three Legacies. This month features Step Two, Tradition Two, and Concept Two.
Sharings on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
New topics are being added each month!
I have been attending my current home meeting now since 1996. Our meeting is held in a small town where maintaining anonymity of the members is stressed as extremely important. As we run into each other at the store, library, or gas station, it is vital that we respect it. Even using only first name and initial, an accompanying phone number can be easily recognized by others in town. I have the ability to post my phone number as the Contact on the Meeting Schedule in times when the group has needed it. When connecting the group with an outside… Read more »
I don’t name names nor relationships in my shares. I think we all know why we’re there – because we are affected by someone else’s alcoholism. I’m hoping this makes the newcomer feel like they are not expected to share something they are not comfortable sharing.
My homegroup used to be the extension of my alcoholic house. I couldn’t understand what was Al-Anon talking about and why the word gentle was so often written in our CAL. There were no other groups in my region. I was desperate but I knew that Al-Anon was the only remedy to my disease. I asked for WSO’s help. It was such a relief that they replied. I remember being so happy in the midst of despair. I remember having a meeting with the international committee of our WSO a year ago and fellows telling us that “The only thing… Read more »
When participating in a virtual meeting for the first time, I briefly mention my family’s distant relationship to alcoholism and the mental health issues that currently affect me, us that may not deal with alcoholism, per se. I then ask the group conscience to share. I find this builds respect and trust.
The feeling of security offered by the principle of anonymity is very important for the unity of the group. My part is to respect this principle in my share by being discreet about some of the facts that I am relating and, even more so, when referring to the people I am talking about. This could offer some security knowing that we can relate things without the gooey details that are too often present in the alcoholic families and that also could represent gossip, which is one the obstacles of success in Al-Anon. One thing that I also try to… Read more »
Anonymity for newcomers is especially critical. I gave a lead on Tradition 4 while I was living near Chicago and it was telling to still protect anonymity but protect newcomers anonymity more closely knowing the possibility of violent alcoholics becoming involved. Tradition 12 talks about this on more of a level that I can appreciate and make sure that in Tradition 5 that anyone who wants the program is there to appreciate it as talked about in Step 12 while carrying the message.
In my electronic Al‑Anon meetings, creating a sense of safety ensures that all members feel welcome, respected, and free to share openly. Since we meet virtually, we must intentionally foster a space where members can engage and stay comfortable. One of the key ways I contribute to safety is by supporting anonymity and personal choice. Some members choose to dial in using only their phone numbers, keep their cameras off, or remain completely anonymous without sharing their names. In my meetings, we respect and uphold these choices, recognizing that safety can mean different things to different people. Not everyone is… Read more »
A timely topic for me. I have belonged to the same small face-to-face group for 15 years. In that time, I have seen many disagreements arise, be discussed, and resolved peacefully, despite earnestly held and conflicting opinions about what is best for the group. I may have been nervous to express a minority opinion, but I always felt safe to do so. Last week during the business meeting, an occasional visitor to the group said that I was being controlling. I have never heard anyone call anyone else names or pass a judgement like that in this group, and it… Read more »
I contribute to the safety of my group by staying “on topic,” by only using CAL, by keeping outside issues outside of the meeting, and following the 12 Steps/12 Traditions/12 Concepts. When I leave the meeting at night, I make sure everyone’s car started before I drive off.