How do I practice acceptance when I wish things were different?
Please share your experiences by commenting on the topic below. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
This month we’re asking you to share on the question, “How do I practice acceptance when I wish things were different?”
A friend messaged me her share about her husband having a relapse. I cannot relate to this since I am dealing with a active drinker today. I began to search my Al-Anon books to find some sort of support and encouragement to give. As I began reading I had a breakdown wondering if I can ever find contentment. I prayed about it and the next morning something told me to read every daily reader on the topic of acceptance. I came to realize even 3 years into my recovery I was not accepting all the things I cannot control. I… Read more »
Acceptance sets me free, free from worry, free from pain and hurt, free from fear. Once I surrender, I experience a new beginning, everything just falls into place.
The only time I need to practice acceptance is when I wish things were different
In my early days in the program I thought acceptance was a kind of giving up; an admission of weakness or helplessness.
Now, after over 5 years in recovery I have learned that many things are beyond my control. These I have to leave with my Higher Power to solve (or not). I must focus on myself and my recovery; finding the courage to change the things I can.
I’m glad this is the topic for the month. I was thinking earlier today about the housing situation my husband and I are in. We’ve both wanted to move out of the local area for several years, yet we’re still here. I think I’m more ready to move than he is. From what I can tell, he’s not ready to let go of our current home. What I noticed this morning is that, while I have a “stuck” feeling, I feel calm and even content with the situation when I’m focused on my own spiritual growth. I know my husband… Read more »
Acceptance doesn’t mean hopeless. If you think of what you want for another as something you can’t be okay without it’s an addiction. If you are whole, forgiving of the other, life and yourself (even if you are sad) your hope for another will be a prayer leaving the outcome in the care of your higher power. This takes honesty, courage, humility and faith and gets easier over time.
Anytime I am really suffering over a situation, it’s because I am trying to control things that are beyond my control. It’s time to go back to Step One and admit I’m powerless. When I came into the program, I was willing to admit (finally) that I was powerless over my sons’ drinking. It took me a long time to realize that there are lots of things besides alcoholism that I’m powerless over. I can’t control other people, period. I can’t control their choices, their perceptions, their decisions, or the consequences of their actions. All I can work on is… Read more »
Practicing acceptance when I wished things were different was impossible for me before the program. I thought acceptance meant giving in, admitting I was helpless, admitting I was powerless. I thought all these things made me a weak person. The program has taught me that I can give in, I can admit I am helpless, and that I am powerless. It doesn’t mean I’m weak, it means I can acknowledge that I need help and that asking for help is ok. Seeking my higher power during these times is how I can practice acceptance. I give it to God and… Read more »
This is a lovely question. Makes me really wonder what acceptance means to me today. I began attending meetings willingly since 2018. It has been a while now. Yet I am still a newcomer in a way, I feel. Perhaps, always will be. And it’s rather better that way. Today while I was doing my daily prayer and meditation, I suddenly felt I could accept where I am in my life right now. Not entirely, mind you! That would probably take a whole lifetime. But, it felt like a little light found its way into the darkness in my mind.… Read more »
In practicing acceptance, I first acknowledge that I want things to be different. I want a sober family member who is thriving, who is dependable, who is happy with life, who is…. When I start down that rabbit hole of naming what I want, I realize I am out of acceptance of my own life, and there is no room for my Higher Power to work with me and my family. So I got back to Step 1 and realize with certainty that I am powerless over alcohol and that my life has become unmanageable. What CAN I manage? My… Read more »
Accepting means to be clear minded about what is happening and, then decide what I will do about it. This didn’t sit well with me before the program. I was filled with false pride and arrogance and I was probably the most self-righteous person on the block. It took me a lot of work and efforts to come to term with the word “acceptance”. I had first to come to term with the fact that there were things I could not change and that fighting, struggling and refusing their realities were just making me unreasonable, frustrated and out of sort.… Read more »