I used to think, how am I possibly going to “unlearn” all these bad habits? In hindsight, I realize that I didn’t have to unlearn anything but had to re-learn how to listen and accept myself as I am. As with everything in Al‑Anon and Alateen, I cannot do this alone and it’s not enough to just go to meetings.
Not everything can be shared in the Al-Anon meeting; this is why I need a Sponsor. I need a true confidante. I found a Sponsor by listening to what was being shared in the meetings and through fellowship after meetings. Another person’s words matched my experience; they drew me to ask this fellow Al-Anon member to be my Sponsor. I identified with so much of what this person said. I knew that working the Steps with this member would only benefit me. It takes time to understand this program. My Sponsor helps me to understand me!
Sue P., Associate Director—Group Services
Share with us your experience of finding a Sponsor using the Comment section below.
I am new to Al-anon and have only attended online meetings. My problem is my alcoholic and drug addicted stepson who is 42 and still being rescued and enabled by my husband. I think I’m supposed to find a sponsor who is in a similar situation but since no one in the meetings is specific about their problems, how do I go about it? Confused.
Hi. I am new to Al-anon. My husband is an Alcoholic & is currently in Rehab. I have listened to a few zoom meetings, but to be honest I have No idea what I’m doing or how this is supposed to help me!
Not even sure this can help.
I am Summer and I am 23 years old. I grew up with an alcoholic father and I am healing from trauma resulting from that relationship and my fiance is also struggling with alcoholism and is in denial. I do not want to share too much but I am in the need of a sponsor for advice and emotional support during this turning point in my life. I am getting the help I need, finally.
Hi my name is Melinda I have a alcoholic son and i need to find a sponsor .
My spouse of 5 yrs. is an active alcoholic and largely in denial. I am on the West Coast. Had an unplanned intervention when my spouse wanted to purchase a firearm. I am a child of an alcoholic – have done substantial work relative to this in the past – however – the way the issues are presenting with my spouse were vastly different and I am recognizing that sponsorship would be great for me to really dig in and get my part in the family disease healed and at least not contributing to the alcoholics excuse for drinking. Thank… Read more »
In need of a sponsor
Hi Everryone. I am new to Al-Anon.My younger sister is an alcoholic. She knows she has a problem. My sister is also bi-polar and is more prone to addictions or addictive behavior. It really did not start to hit me till two days ago. I am in need of finding a sponsor for emotional support. I finally called up & got into one of the meetings on the phone. Hoping to get into a meeting from the beginning for newcomers.
I am in great need of a sponsor and also would like to know how people connect with each other outside of the meetings for support.
My sister is struggling with alcoholism and my help has done little to help the situation. Now I find myself needing help. I’m having a hard time accepting that I can’t cure her. I feel some things I’ve tried may have made the situation worse. I’m having trouble letting go. I need to set boundaries but don’t want to lose my relationship with her. How do I stay supportive without driving myself crazy worrying about her drinking and life decisions. I need a sponsor to help me. Thank you for listening!
I have a grown daughter who is struggling with addiction. I’m 79 and feel l need a sponsor for myself and help understanding and helping her. I’ve been through AA years ago. I have been in ministry for about 10 years then a Social worker for 20yrs, yet l need help with my own daughter.
I am new to Al-Anon. I have been trying to listen and find a sponsor but honestly don’t really know what it is I’m supposed to be looking for. I feel like my wheels are spinning and could definitely use some help.
Al-Anon Family Groups offer a large list of electronic meetings on a variety of platforms, including Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp, email, and phone. In addition, the meetings are available at all hours of the day, and some even 24 hours a day. Please visit our Electronic Meetings page https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/electronic-meetings/ to access the different options.
I am looking for a sponsor. I want to start working through the steps and to start helping myself fully heal, but I know I can only start doing that with the help from someone else to get me on my way. I’ve been struggling with my dad being an alcoholic and for awhile I was in complete denial but as I’ve gotten older I realize it’s way worse than I ever thought. I don’t want to feel like I am the one suffering from his disease anymore.
My husband died on january 31st. He was a functional alcoholic for as long as i knew him, he is actually not the problem. I met another guy a few years after my husband became extremely ill from diabetes and pretty much was rotting from the inside out for ten years before he succumbed to.his diabetes and alcoholism. Anyway the guy i met started working with me and we seemed to have a great connection however he was a drunk alcoholic and a pill addict maybe even a drug addict anyway we stayed super close friends and i tried to… Read more »
I need a sponsor. I feel like I am stuck on the worst merry go round. It isn’t merry at all. My husband may be the alcoholic but I feel like I am losing it.
A sponsor was a must in order to grow in this program, however it was difficult to choose from a group of new acquaintances. I came to meetings frequently, and I tried to find individuals that I could identify with. I listened to them over a period of meetings. Somehow, I had a voice within me that gave me the courage to ask someone to sponsor me. I’ve been in the program for a very long time now and I have had three persons who were very helpful in my growth in the program. I also was able to talk… Read more »
I found my sponsor in a workshop on the 12 Steps of Al-Anon led by someone I met online. When we paired up for Step 5, I really liked the woman who took me through Step 5. I asked her to be my sponsor. Her sponsor was the woman who lead the workshop. I come from a lineage of sponsors who do the 12 Steps quickly and repeatedly. I really like this approach. I live in the countryside. Closest meeting is over an hour away. My sponsor lives in Michigan. Her sponsor lives in Florida. I live in Virginia. I… Read more »
I had 3 very successful sponsorship relationships in this fellowship and 2 that were not. The difference between those that worked and those that didn’t involved service. My sponsors who were active in service were my successful sponsorship relationship versus the 2 were not. Also they personally took an interest in me and guided me to a step or tradition they felt would help. Trust began on both sides and the rest became history.
Thanks for the good sharings on sponsorship. I’ve been in the program just over 20 years. My last wonderful sponsor loved me unconditionally and really helped me learn to trust maybe for the first time. Unfortunately she’s had several major strokes and is active but because she can’t read now she’s left the program. I’m so sad. Several great women in my local group appealed to me who work great programs. I’ve asked each one would they sponsor me and been turned down. They have too many sponsees, not enough time, I’ll spouses, etc. Even some of our newcomers can’t… Read more »
I found my sponsor by trusting the signs given to me. The meetings in my local area pass around a sign-in sheet at every meeting. One column in the sign-in sheet is titled, “Willing to Sponsor?” I paid attention to the women who wrote, “Yes”, listening for the qualities I wanted to grow in myself: peace of mind and the ability to live in harmony with an alcoholic spouse. One day, one of the women I was drawn to wrote an enthusiastic, “Yes!” on the sign-in sheet. I took that enthusiasm as a sign that today was the day and… Read more »