How did you find your first Sponsor?
October’s topic is, “How did you find your first Sponsor?”
As always, you can also write about Al‑Anon’s three Legacies. This month features Step Ten, Tradition Ten, and Concept Ten.
Sharings on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
New topics are being added each month!
When I came to my second meeting I knew I was home. It was also at this time that the zero step of desperation showed up. I knew I needed a Sponsor and I asked about everyone at the meeting and I was turned down by everyone. However one person told me to pray for a Sponsor and the next meeting a woman greeted me at the door. She told me that she had heard I needed a Sponsor and was willing to be my temporary Sponsor. I was so grateful to my Higher Power for doing for me what… Read more »
New into the program, I knew I was desperate, sad, lonely and going crazy. Wanted help. Met a lady who’s been in the program for 16 years. She took me to coffee after meeting. As I shared all my woes, she made a comment that resonated in my brain – so I asked her to be my Sponsor. We started a relationship that was not meant to be. She suggested I leave the relationship. I realized as sick as I was that if I could terminate it, I would not need Al-Anon or anything else. She said she couldn’t be… Read more »
When I was new, the meetings I attended had sign-in sheets that were purely voluntary. One of the columns we could check was “Are you willing/available to sponsor?” That was a very useful tool for me. I was shy and the idea of randomly going up to someone to ask if they’d sponsor me was overwhelming. The sign-in sheet served as a guide. I took note of who indicated being available and listened closely to their shares. I also paid attention to how they acted before, during and after the meeting. I knew sometimes people are good talkers and I… Read more »
I had been in Al-Anon for a couple months and met a person who had the exact opposite personality as I had. I really had nothing in common with her but I thought she was what I needed as she had been in the program for over 20 years. I never really grasped how Al-Anon worked and was a mess mentally. I wasn’t practicing a good program (or any program) at all and was not getting any help outside my meetings or (it seemed) from my Sponsor. Things happened at home and [the alcoholic] went for treatment so I thought… Read more »
When I came to Al-Anon a few 24 hours ago I was not a “happy camper” and had no intention of staying. However, when the position of GR became open and I was elected, only few months after my coming to the program, I decided that I would stay. Through being elected GR, I just gained a sense of belonging and also, in my sick mind, a false sense of importance. I was fortunate, as the GR who preceded me offered to walk along with me and guided me in my new position. Without knowing or planning it, she soon… Read more »
I have been in Al-Anon recovery for 69 days today, and I found my Sponsor in my daily meeting. As soon as I listened to her share for the first time, I found myself looking up and paying full attention to her every word. It was as if everything she said about her recovery resonated in my mind, heart and soul. I knew she was the one Al-Anon member I had to approach. I felt an urge to keep coming back to my daily morning meeting, because I felt heard, seen and understood through her Experience, Strength and Hope. So… Read more »
I was terrified when it was suggested I find a Sponsor. I was fairly new to Al-Anon, never shared at a meeting, I just listened. I chose a woman that came to the meeting late, left early, and rarely shared. She was kind of like me and I thought she was perfect. She said yes when I asked her if she would be my Sponsor during a break in our meeting one day. I never called her or shared anything about my life with her, in fact I avoided her as much as I could. Four years later I was… Read more »
My first Al-Anon meeting was for Beginners. I heard what I wanted – there was hope for me and my children. I needed to follow suggestions of attending meetings regularly, read our literature, and get a Sponsor to help me practice the Al-Anon Steps. It took me about 4 months of attendance at that meeting to select two members that had similar life experience so I decided to ask them if they were willing to sponsor me. The first person said no, she was not taking new people to sponsor. I asked the second. She was excited and willing. It… Read more »
My Sponsor was one of the first people to make me feel welcomed when I was new to the program. She told me to keep coming back, asked me how I was doing (and listened!) and was always so encouraging. As I listened to her shares and got to know her better, I admired her openness and honesty. Two qualities I was sorely lacking! I grew up around so much dishonesty and pretense, I really didn’t know any other way to relate to people. She was open and direct and laughed a lot. That was the kind of recovery I… Read more »
Last year when I began to get serious about working my Al-Anon Program I stumbled across an app meeting that I really enjoyed. I committed to attending this meeting regularly. I started volunteering to read during the meeting and sharing on the meeting topic. I noticed one particular person who helped host and co-host the meeting, and who shared during the meeting. When she put her email address on the meeting chat page I wrote it down and thought about it and prayed on it for about a month. I finally contacted her and we chatted back and forth until… Read more »
I had been on Zoom for 7 months and that Friday they read the info on Sponsorship and then they said Sponsors who are available raise your hand and about 5 women raised their hands and I said to my Higher Power which one and 1 woman sent me a chat and I knew my prayer was answered and she was the one. When God picks your Sponsor it’s amazing and a perfect fit. And I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.
I was feeling desperate, in a bad relationship with someone who used all of the alcoholic’s tricks to run me down: telling me I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, or clever enough to keep his love. Using emotional blackmail, threatening to leave, flirting with others in my presence. Puffing himself up at my expense. Oh, and drinking. You could figuratively pick me up off the floor, I was so hurt. Did I tell you I had grown up in an alcoholic family? I had no self-esteem, and was acting like a doormat. After hearing suggestions, I surrendered my pride and… Read more »
My home group, the first Al-Anon meeting I attended, had a wonderful base of members who knew a lot about the program and were adept at giving it to newcomers. I knew right away who I wanted for my Sponsor but thought everyone else would want her too so I hesitated. I also didn’t make a move because fear of rejection was one of my greatest defects. I was a bit jealous of another member whom I knew had this person as her Sponsor. Because I was growing in that meeting, I decided the flip side of jealousy could be… Read more »
When I was new in Al-Anon, my list for finding a Sponsor was short, like the list I had for finding a partner before Al-Anon (that he not drink), I looked for someone who had at least five years in the program. Unfortunately, that was not the best guide since the area where I lived was small and meetings were small. There just were not many members who fit that criteria. So I asked a woman who had more that five years to be my Sponsor and she agreed. We did do some work together. I was able to share… Read more »
After dabbling in Al-Anon for two years I walked in to a new person-to-person meeting I had not been to before. When I walked in I was greeted by the Group Representative. She is caring, kind and spiritual. I knew that day I wanted her to be my Sponsor. She called to check on me. Texted me and allowed me to call her. That was a big step for me. After 7 months I asked her if she could sponsor me. She agreed. We decided to meet weekly. Our first meeting was setting expectations and getting to know each other… Read more »
It took me almost two years to find my first Sponsor. I had several temporary or trial Sponsors, but within a week or two of working with each of them, my Higher Power helped me to understand that we would not be a good match. Finally, I heard a woman speak at my home group whose passion reminded me of my Grandmother’s. Not only that, but she wasn’t afraid to cry and was actually proud of it! My family had been very closeted and we rarely shared emotions with each other. I grew up thinking we were not supposed to… Read more »
I started working the Steps by myself after being in Al-Anon for just a little while. I didn’t understand the enormity of my flawed thinking until I came to Step 5. I wanted to follow the rules (as I thought of the Steps at that time) so I knew I could not skip over any of the Steps, and I couldn’t move forward if I didn’t complete Step 5. There was no one in my life that I felt comfortable with enough to share anything about myself so I decided to look for a Sponsor in my home meeting. There… Read more »